In a new relationship-My boyfriend is DDLG

[Stylesmuse]

So, I am so sorry if this is not allowed. I am sorry if I use incorrect terminology, or if anything I say comes off as offensive,please know I have no bad intentions. I am in a new relationship, so far I really like this guy. He is so sweet and so... wholesome in a refreshing way. He had confided in me that in the past, he has had a ddlg relationship and that he is interested in doing this with me. He is a switch, though if him and I were to venture down this path I would be the little. I am open minded, I do not shame anyone for their kinks or anything of the sort. I have tried to wrap my head around this, and I just can’t PERSONALLY see the attraction. I don’t want to loose him, but I don’t know if this is something that I am into. I like the idea of being taken care of, being the submissive, of him being “daddy.” I just don’t see the benefit of getting into the mindset of a child... don’t get me wrong I completely can see and understand it’s an escape from the pressure of adulthood. I’m just not sure if some of the aspects, maybe most of them, of ddlg are for me. I want to tell him this but I don’t want to disappoint him, or make him feel like I am judging him in any way. I’m happy that he trusted me with this, I’m not gonna throw that back in his face. I just don’t know what to do, where to go from here. I’m just looking for some insight and advice from his community

[RavenclawPrincess]

Here's the thing, and probably where you may have been given some wrong info. You don't HAVE to shove your relationship into a cookie cutter and try to force it to fit where it doesn't. The dynamic between you and your boyfriend can be HOWEVER you want it to be as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual. You can absolutely be his little without adopting the mindset of the child. I highly recommend that you put a lot of thought into exploring what you do and don't like within the realm of DDlg. Adopt the elements that work for BOTH of you, and skip what doesn't work or agree to try more things later if interest comes up. 

[peachprince]

I agree with the above! There's also a lot of littles who don't regress and/or don't act childlike, it's all up to personal taste! There's a wide variety of relationships within the community, and not all get noticed because of the idealizing of the classic DDlg dynamic, but they're there and lodes of partnerships enjoy them!

[Littlenicole40]

So, I am so sorry if this is not allowed. I am sorry if I use incorrect terminology, or if anything I say comes off as offensive,please know I have no bad intentions. I am in a new relationship, so far I really like this guy. He is so sweet and so... wholesome in a refreshing way. He had confided in me that in the past, he has had a ddlg relationship and that he is interested in doing this with me. He is a switch, though if him and I were to venture down this path I would be the little. I am open minded, I do not shame anyone for their kinks or anything of the sort. I have tried to wrap my head around this, and I just can’t PERSONALLY see the attraction. I don’t want to loose him, but I don’t know if this is something that I am into. I like the idea of being taken care of, being the submissive, of him being “daddy.” I just don’t see the benefit of getting into the mindset of a child... don’t get me wrong I completely can see and understand it’s an escape from the pressure of adulthood. I’m just not sure if some of the aspects, maybe most of them, of ddlg are for me. I want to tell him this but I don’t want to disappoint him, or make him feel like I am judging him in any way. I’m happy that he trusted me with this, I’m not gonna throw that back in his face. I just don’t know what to do, where to go from here. I’m just looking for some insight and advice from his community

 

You don’t have to have a childlike mindset at any time to be into DDLG, at least I don’t feel that way.  While I do at times have a more childlike “little” me that comes out, most of the time I’m a total grown up. I feel like it’s more about the connection with the person, respect for each other, etc.  I’ve talked to a couple people here who are more interested in the daddy or father type/daughter dynamic and caretaking aspect in itself than the doing “little” things.  And those things for me don’t always have to be some obvious outward little thing - say dressing as a child or playing with toys. Sometimes it’s just the feel of that security you have when you’re younger or more oblivious to the world.  It could just be trusting your daddy to help you with things.  Let’s say you’re not into dressing younger.  That doesn’t mean he can’t pick out your outfit, for example, and you both still take satisfaction in that.  

 

I hope what I am trying to say makes sense.  

[Vampiress]

What everyone said previously is spot on. What others do in their littlespace doesn't define what littlespace is for you. You define that yourself with the guidance of your Caregiver. I am sure if you talked to him he could work with how littlespace would be most comfortable for you. I definitely do not do things like babytalk. For me, being a little, I very much understand I am an adult and that is always present even when I am in littlespace, I just like to indulge in activities that might seem child-like to someone who doesn't partake in the lifestyle. Don't feel like you need to compare yourself to the rest of us but feel free to ask as many questions as you need and learn while you discover which things do and don't work for you. However you end up defining it, it won't make you lesser than anyone else as a little just because you choose not to do certain things.