Need some advice! (UPDATE!)

[Kitten&Spice]

I have been wanting to ask this for some time and for 5 months I have had this major crush on a person I met on Kik! We hit it off the first time and even people in the group could sense the awkward sexual tension between us! I decided to start Dming him after 2 weeks and we have been sharing messages the whole time!

 

We kind of have a love hate relationship but we always make each other laugh and have a good time! He is also very caring and when I have a hard time he listens to me and helps me. Part of me wanted him to ask for me to be his little!

 

Sadly after a few months of talking he told me that he finally found a little! They had been talking for a week and she ended up asking him. Although I was very happy and excited that he finally found the one part of me was also hurt. Especially since I thought that me and him had a connection. Of course I can’t be mad at him because I never once explained my emotions or how I felt but I also was scared to ever ask.

 

We still talk all the time! And we always joke around but part of me still wants to just tell him that at this time I dont want to hear about his little. I don’t want to feel like this and this emotion is horrible. I just want some advice on how I can get over it. And just not be jealous. I haven’t shown it to him in any way and like I said I am mostly happy for them. I just want to know if any of you had the same issue and how you overcome it! Thanks!

 

UPDATE!

 

I wanted to let anyone who was helping know that things did not really end well with his little. And I am hurt knowing that again someone went around and broke his heart. He has built up his wall yet again and it has made it quite difficult to really do anything. I know that I need to give him time and be as respectful as possible. And with that I can show him that I will not ghost him, lie to him, or do anything to hurt him. We do plan on hanging out next year and he is coming to visit! Which I am excited for and know that I will enjoy! Although that is a long time it gives me just enough time to really get to know him and hopefully him get to know me! I also told him about how I felt and he was very understanding! However at this point I don’t believe that he has a connection with me and that is completely fine! I know that we can be great friends even if I am not the little for him! Thank you everyone for the advice! I just wanted to give a small update!

Edited July 10, 2020 by LilPup :P

[Guest Sparkly_BunBun]

I think you should definitely tell him that you want to be his little and that he should leave his actual little, I mean you were talking first to him and there's this "sexual tension" you were talking about, surely he must have noticed it too.

Don't be worried or sad about his actual little, she stole the guy you like and you were talking to him first, she will find someone else eventually 

[Guest DaddyPines]

Sure I have been there before and it really doesn't feel very nice. I kind of think in this situation you should divorce yourself from this person so you don't feel jealous anymore or until a point where you are involved in something or no longer have feelings for them.

 

For me it took a long time but if I had a situation where I would be jealous again to the point it made me feel bad I would have to just ignore them and divorce from them. It's so much easier if it's all long distance. If you live near or with these people you got to bite it. There are other groups. There are other places... Jealousy eats at your stomach, heart and soul and makes you bitter and a bad person. Look at Anakin Skywalker!

Edited June 27, 2020 by DaddyPines

[Kitten&Spice]

Thanks for the advice! My only issue is that we are close! He has been a really good person for me and I just don’t want to jeopardize that. I even tried to not send messages and he ended up asking if I was doing ok and checked in on me. I just think it is hard to really remove him completely.

 

As for trying to take him away from his little that is one thing I would never even dream of doing to anyone. She has been nothing but wonderful to him and is a sweet caring person! I would never ever even dream of doing that to her and to rob them of a happy relationship! Regardless as to if I talked to him longer or not! She didn’t even know what was going on between us. And we both made it out that we didn’t like each other in the chat so they would lay off on us.

 

Like I am content being his friend and being able to mess around with him but past that I know that those feelings are an issue. Although it is small they are still present and I hate that.

[junebug0325]

Hiya,

 

So in my opinion, you will probably never be able to get over those feelings. Obviously I don't know you but in my experience whenever there is a connection there is always that lingering feeling in the back of your head, no matter how much you try to push those feelings away.

 

You have a couple of options. First, you could not tell him anything. No mention of your feelings for him or anything like that but that means you will also be hearing about his relationship a lot. Second, you could "white-lie" to him and tell him that you are feeling very sensitive about the subject of a relationship because you had a close connection with someone but it didn't work out (he doesn't need to know who it is). This isn't directed at him and also lets him know that the topic of his relationship might be a sensitive topic for you because you're feeling down. 

 

There's probably other ways you are able to reslove your issues but these are the first things that came to my mind. I hope this helps.

 

 

 

 

Junebug x

[AsleepAndDreaming]

LilPup it sounds to me like one of two things happened here. Either he friend-zoned you because he didn't think of you like that, or in the months you were talking he wrongly decided you weren't interested and didn't think it was appropriate to take things any further. Sometimes it's almost impossible to pick up on signals of sexual tension if you're in the middle of it, because your head starts over-analysing things and wondering if you're reading the signals wrong, and while the fact that the two of you had chemistry was obvious to everyone else, maybe he just missed it?

 

Or maybe he didn't feel it? If he was feeling the same as you, I have to wonder whether he would have started a relationship with someone else? I'm sorry if that is blunt and to the point - but if I was genuinely interested in someone and thought maybe this was the right person for me, I wouldn't start a new relationship, and I wouldn't be talking to you for months without trying to move it forward and seeing if you felt the same?

 

Anyway, your post asks for advice on how to get over it. Well I've been stuck in this situation a couple of times but I'm afraid there's no real easy answer here unless you're prepared to just cut yourself off from this guy and treat it like the end of a relationship. This might sound a bit harsh, but if you're looking for a Daddy, is it fair on any new potential Daddies who might talk to you if you actually have a major crush on someone else? And is it helping you and your own stability by continuing to have feelings for a guy who you are basically saying is unavailable? You're always going to have that longing, you're going to be thinking about him lots, but you're not (at the moment at least) going to be with him. And that's going to hurt. And you're always going to think of what might have happened. 

 

Of course, just cutting yourself off from him is easier said than done. So if you can't do that, you end up just having to live with it. Deal with these emotions and realise that they're just a part of you. But you're in danger of getting hurt, and there's a danger of these feelings getting stronger, and you may have to suffer in silence.

 

Really it depends on whether the importance of having him as a friend outweighs these feelings you're going to have to deal with, and how much seeing him with someone else is going to hurt you. Only you can decide this, because only you know how much having him in your life means to you....

[Kitten&Spice]

Thank you for the response! I appreciate the input and I agree with you! Especially for the fact that those feelings can affect any other forms of relationships that I may want or affect my search for a Daddy! However I am the type of person to fall head over heels for a person for awhile and when I see that those feelings are not reciprocated then I eventually withdraw myself and move on. It is sad to say I am like that but I tend to do that often. I think that you are right that he does not have feelings for me. Especially after the recent discussions I have had with him.

 

To keep you updated he had asked about if I had ever lied to him. And in my response I had said that I have lied to 2 times; one was about my feelings and the other time when I jokingly say mean things to him. Which is what brought up all this. He took it fairly well and I even confessed that I wanted to be his little but he did not say much about making me his little or anything further. I took this as his nice way of saying that we are good as friends and not anymore. Which right now I am completely fine with! He is a great friend! And I think that he is a good friend and I hope that he finds a partner that treats him well! I just hope that he can talk to them a bit longer and be willing to be more open when he does find one!