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How to stop aplogizing?


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Posted

I aplogize to much "I'm sorry I'll quite" is something my Alpha hears from me a lot and it doesn't bug him usually other then when he is playing a game and angry at the game it makes him feel like he is being a jerk and I feel bad that my mind goes to "op I should be a good girlfriend and shut up right now" does anyone else have thoughts like this?

 

how do you change those thought patterns?

Posted
I do the same thing. I think it's because we want to please so badly that if we misjudge what is needed or say the wrong thing we feel in the wrong and apologize. I think we need to realize our intentions are known and it's OK to not be perfect. As long as you are your best you, it's ok.
Posted

I usually look at at in terms of have I done (or failed to do) something important to whoever is around of me. If say I was to fix a coffee for someone but didn't then I would apologize but if it was something of little consequence then I would not.

Posted

For me, the only way to stop certain thinking habits is to replace them with different thinking habits. Trying to suppress the thoughts or "stop" thinking about something seems to give them more power. Accept that the "it's my fault" thoughts will come, but practice pausing and telling yourself "I did nothing wrong".

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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

I have this problem too. Haven't figured out how to stop it though. Luckily my Master is patient with me. He just tells me to stop apologizing because I have nothing to apologize for and that everything's okay. Hopefully he'll say it enough that it will actually stick in my mind. >~<

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Posted

I support what Lisa said! :)

 

Also, I think it's super important to praise yourself for even trying to change these thought processes. Getting down in yourself or berating yourself for slipping up will maybe potentially  feed into more negativity. Instead, remind yourself that you've tried your best, and mistakes are always, absolutely 100% okay.

 

You're doing your best and that's perfectly enough :) <3

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