Rules for Daddy

[miaknights2020]

My daddy and I are starting to come up with rules and he wants me to makes some up for him too. I dunno what to do. Any ideas?

 

[littlekami]

Are your rules about safety? Are some of the rules meant to be more about fun and adding to your DDlg dynamic? 

 

I guess first consider the purpose of the rule(s) and then go from there. 

 

If it's about safety for your daddy then I can think of some ideas:

- For myself, I'm really ticklish! so I would make a rule that my daddy can't tickle me in certain spots because I might kick him in the face. 

- I also have anxiety sometimes, so I'd make it a rule that if my daddy sees me doing my anxiety ticks he has to tell me a joke or something, which IS at least for his mental safety too in a way. 

- Maybe a rule to send goodnight texts? or morning texts? 

- A rule that if your daddy is having anxiety/stress/whatever and needs your cuddles he could do something specific - some daddys aren't good at asking for help when they need it too because they think they're the caregiver, so making it something simple and subtle could help. For example, my daddy has a special chair and when he sits in it I know to sit on him. It's unspoken. 

 

I hope this helps in some way. 

Edited June 7, 2020 by littlekami

[Drillbit46]

As a daddy, some rules I've had in the past are much like LittleKami above said. They were about safety, along with both mental and physical health. Some more specific examples are:

 

Goodnight and good morning texts when we weren't with each other in-person (It was a LDR), everyday and every night we were to start and end our days this way. This was a rule for both of us.

 

Again, like LittleKami said, a rule was when my little learned to distinguish my signs of stress/frustration and my insecurities (I have had a couple extremely bad past relationships that left very deep scars on the inside and a lot of insecurities after getting used so bad by a little and also a sub) and she always knew then she had to comfort me and reassure me. The way she would do that is by being extra cute and silly and super duper affectionate and telling me how much she loved me and reassured me i was the only one. Of course, this rule we discussed in depth and something along these lines will always be tailored to the individuals involved and their relationship.

 

Another rule for me was at certain times of the day, I needed to devote 100% of my attention to her and nothing else. This rule helped bring our bond closer together.

 

A rule that she also set for me was if I need to do big daddy adult stuff and it was going to prevent me from responding for an extended period of time (which was over an hour for us) I had to tell her in advance. If I failed to do so, my punishment was I had to let her have an extra dessert (and sometimes she guilt tripped me into have two extra desserts!! Lol) that night.

 

These are all just a few example that worked for us. If your daddy is asking you to pick and set rules for him, my guess is he is asking you what kind of things you want him to do to make you happy! Like the goodnight and good morning texts for example! Maybe one idea is make it a rule he has to remind you how cute you are or how beautiful you are at least X amount of times a day?

 

This important thing to figure out is what kind of rules you two are setting for each other, like LittleKami already said, I agree with that!

[baby_k]

I have tried to search this specific topic on the forum before, and results weren't that great. I believe in some sort of equality, so makes sense that both have rules even if they would be bit different

 

Here my findings:

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/2210-what-are-your-rules/?hl=rules%20daddy (NSFW)

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/58-rules-share-yours-opinions-on-them-ideas-etc-%E2%99%A1/ (NSFW)

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12732-rules-or-guidelines-for-daddys-to-follow/ (NSFW)

 

Personally I'm not super fond of daddy-rules that say one has to spend time with the other person ( I get feeling that they wouldn't want otherwise do that? ) or that one has to call one with cutesy names ( again same reason: I want those things come naturally and not forced ). Things I could find meaningful:

• be honest and direct
• don't assume but communicate and make sure
• talk about things that bother you
• try to understand, don't judge
• be respectful while arguing
• tell PREHAND if busy
• safeword is: ______
• no punishments out of anger or frustration
• never go bed angry ( I believe that one should at least in some level make up the same day )
• ...

Selfcare rules if needed:

• excercise at least 3 times / week
• bedtime: _____
• eat vegs, no unnecessary sugary stuff
• ......

 

But I guess those depend highly on the relationship and the daddy: what are their specific needs and struggles.

[Drillbit46]

Baby K nailed it pretty dang good here! That is a lot of great information to use with some very valid points.

 

One thing I feel I should clear up about the rules my little set for me, is the required to spend certain times with her daily rule. This was NOT to force me to give her attention, love, and affection. This was to make me take time out of the day to relax and destress. I was working full time and going to school full time then and this rule was needed. My blood pressure actually went down and my productivity levels went up after we started this! Lol.

 

As for the goodnight and good morning rule, this came natural to us both as well. The rule was set in place for when one of us was in a bad mood, too busy, or just too tired to feel up to the call or text (varied). This was set to help us communicate long distance when the other wasn't feeling very good.

 

The biggest thing is to look at the needs and wants of the relationship and what will be best for both of you.

Baby K gave a lot of great examples and information there! Take what will be best for you two from all of our suggestions and I hope you find the perfect set of rules for each other!

[baby_k]

One thing I feel I should clear up about the rules my little set for me, is the required to spend certain times with her daily rule. This was NOT to force me to give her attention, love, and affection. This was to make me take time out of the day to relax and destress. I was working full time and going to school full time then and this rule was needed. My blood pressure actually went down and my productivity levels went up after we started this! Lol.

 

As for the goodnight and good morning rule, this came natural to us both as well. The rule was set in place for when one of us was in a bad mood, too busy, or just too tired to feel up to the call or text (varied). This was set to help us communicate long distance when the other wasn't feeling very good.

 

Ohh, I hope you didn't feel like I was critisising you! Didn't mean that!

 

I get that sometimes it's good to write down those "spend time" / "good night text" etc, as it helps us to see our priorities and that can help us to live the life we want. I think the idea of rules kinda is that we just more highlight the things we want to have in life, what is important and how we wish things to be. -> can be good idea to have there the "spend time" or "send morning text" or "call me with petnames" as those tell what the needs, expectations and hopes are. So, it is good communication really.

 

I do struggle a bit especifically with this idea of "good night text" as I would find it to be important that one sends it or text in morning immediately but I also feel like I want it to be totally voluntary. But this is just in my head: it can still be voluntary and thing one wants to do even there is a rule. It's just my personal problem that I would feel awkward with it as I so easily would go overthinking that "is it now a chore to him, does he really want to do it, is it anymore that he really thinks me with smile in his face in morning or.... is he just texting me in order not to upset me? :(". So, personal problem which I hopefully could tackle with partner by communicating XP

 

But this is nice convo as it helps me to tackle this issue of mine by myself I actually have my own rule that I "need to" do one relaxing thing a day -thou I have tried to phrase it more in way that it is not "have to" but thing I can and should do for my own wellbeing. So, not a chore but to actually enjoy myself. I really liked how @Drillbit46 explained why the rules were put on place and the background as it helps to see how those rules can be beneficial for anyone

 

Edit: missing sentence and typos...........

Edited June 9, 2020 by baby_k

[Drillbit46]

Ohh, I hope you didn't feel like I was critisising you! Didn't mean that!

 

I get that sometimes it's good to write down those "spend time" / "good night text" etc, as it helps us to see our priorities and that can help us to live the life we want. I think the idea of rules kinda is that we just more highlight the things we want to have in life, what is important and how we wish things to be. -> can be good idea to have there the "spend time" or "send morning text" or "call me with petnames" as those tell what the needs, expectations and hopes are. So, it is good communication really.

 

I do struggle a bit especifically with this idea of "good night text" as I would find it to be important that one sends it or text in morning immediately but I also feel like I want it to be totally voluntary. But this is just in my head: it can still be voluntary and thing one wants to do even there is a rule. It's just my personal problem that I would feel awkward with it as I so easily would go overthinking that "is it now a chore to him, does he really want to do it, is it anymore that he really thinks me with smile in his face in morning or.... is he just texting me in order not to upset me? :(". So, personal problem which I hopefully could tackle with partner by communicating XP

 

But this is nice convo as it helps me to tackle this issue of mine by myself I actually have my own rule that I "need to" do one relaxing thing a day -thou I have tried to phrase it more in way that it is not "have to" but thing I can and should do for my own wellbeing. So, not a chore but to actually enjoy myself. I really liked how @Drillbit46 explained why the rules were put on place and the background as it helps to see how those rules can be beneficial for anyone

 

Edit: missing sentence and typos...........

Don't worry! I didn't feel like you were criticizing me at all!    Reading your first post of rules made me realize I should put the reason for the rules my partner and I had in better context instead of being so vague. That way it was clear that the reasons for it didn't seem like a chore to me at all! Those were things I always did freely and loved doing with my little!

 

For the things you struggle with, if you keep working on them and communicating with your partner you will be able to overcome them! It will just take time. so don't get down on yourself, We all are always working on growing and bettering ourselves, yes even daddies and mommies!    And sometimes these rules can help us grow, they helped me at least!