Long Distance Worries

[JJBee]

My daddy lives in England I’m in America and the time difference is six hours. He does things that I think are weird... like he won’t reply for a couple hours which is fine and then say he was taking a nap.. it’s 12pm-2pm my time so that makes sense but you’re telling me you took a nap from 6pm-8pm and then are going to bed at 9pm? And then yesterday I told him that I had big life changes going on and he read it but didn’t reply ALL DAY. Then I ask him about it today and he just says I’m overreacting and I need to calm down. I keep trying to rephrase it and still won’t say anything about it not even like “I’m sorry I made you worry.” We’ve been together about a week and it doesn’t seem like he’s interested anymore like he never calls me any names or tries to do anything ddlg related. When I try to do something like show him a cute hairstyle I tried he just sends an emoji back and that’s it. I feel like I can’t bring those things up because he’ll just tell me to calm down again. If I feel that something is wrong does that mean that something IS actually wrong?

[MissPattch]

Im sorry you're having a tough time right now. I'm a firm believer of listening to my intuition, following my gut instinct, so if you were to ask me, if something doesn't feel right for you, chances are it probably isn't right. The time difference can be a little tricky, but its still not that big of a hurdle if both parties are actively interested in making it work. Even though its only been a week, you seem to feel like he is being dismissive of your requests for his time and attention, which is what it looks to me is whats happening. If you have talked about this, and its still happening, you have to decide if its something you can live with or if you would rather be with someone who is more willing to give you the level of interaction you desire. Its ok to want to spend time with our Daddies / mummies / care giver, but, especially if they are a long way away, like yours is, and mine, we have to be understanding that they still have a life to live outside of us and our wants / needs. This is no excuse for not talking though, or communicating if things aren't working out how we feel they should. 

[Guest sshyguy123]

Please keep in mind that this is only my opinion... others may have different views. Personally, i would trust your instincts; if you think there is something wrong or not working you are probably right. I don't know about others but when i find a new little i generally tend to be overly attentive for months at least! (Known as the 'honeymoon' phase). If he's not meeting your needs for attention after only a week, and has no real valid reason for this inattention then maybe you should have a discussion with him about both your needs again. Him shrugging you off so easily isn't really acceptable... i'm sorry my dear, but i would be concerned about if he is the right one for you. If he isn't meeting your needs now after only a week, what will it be like in a few months!

 

Talk to him!!! Your concerns are valid, and if he continues to downplay your concerns maybe he isn't the right Daddy for you.

Edited June 4, 2020 by sshyguy123

[Guest clumsy_little]

Something like this had happened to me before. We had a 3 and half time difference but he slowly started talking less and then completely ghosted me. The only talks we had were the sexual perspective of DDLG. You can say I was in the honeymoon phase back then. When I realized that this isn't working, I broke it off. I know the time difference can be annoying. I live in India and my Daddy lives in Canada, time difference of 9 and half hours plus there are times when he is really busy in work or I'm caught up in my studies, but we always manage to talk at least once a day. Even if it's hardly 30 mins, he showers me with love and affection. See if the matters can be solved with a solid solution, if not then you should consider to end the relationship because the longer you stay, the more it'll hurt you later.

[MysticSand]

In the words of the ever insightful and wise Ariana Grande, "thank u, next."

 

What the above posters said. Time zones aren't an excuse to be neglectful.

 

It's especially alarming if his wise and sage advice when you're having major life changes is "you're overreacting."

It may be 1000% true that you're overreacting, but a CG's role is to help you stop overreacting. And telling you to stop overreacting isn't how it's done.

I know everyone is different, but personally, I think the correct way to have gone about things would have been to address what you're worried about point by point, and help you see the rational points of how to tackle those worries.

 

If you think something is wrong, if you feel even the slightest of things is wrong.... then something is wrong.

You're smarter than you give yourself credit for, go with your gut.

[Guest QueenJellybean]

the answer is always communicate, communicate, communicate! 

 

bring up these very valid concerns with him directly.

[Guest sshyguy123]

The more often i read your post, the more potential red flags i see. I would suggest having a very serious, open, honest discussion with him again about both your and his wants and needs!!! The key to any LDR i communication and 100% openess and honesty!!! Granted, there are certain things that won't and shouldn't be shared this early on, but it sounds like he is barely making an attempt to provide you with even your basic needs as a little.

 

Your voice is just as important as his, if not more so. No true CG should ever make light of his/her little's concerns. If it's an issue he doesn't wish to discuss at this point he should GENTLY express that and not just brush off your concern as an over-reaction!

 

Sorry for the rant, but Daddy's who discount input from and the voice of their little annoys me to no end... i've heard from far too many littles saying that their afraid to ask anything due to fear of disappointing their Daddy... but that is just SO WRONG!!!! How can he know what you need if you're too afraid/worried to ask or tell him... it's just wrong

Edited June 4, 2020 by sshyguy123

[junebug0325]

Heya, 

 

As everyone said above, I see a lot of red flags. My best advice is to first have an open and honest conversation with him. If he continues to make excuses or you feel that he is not genuine in any apology he gives, explain that it's not working and trust your intuition to break it off with him. Time zones are not an excuse for neglect and communication should be open and constant, regardless of which stage of the relationship you are in. 

 

Everyone who I have ever talked about in a LDR always says, "I think I'm just overreacting". And it's okay to say that to yourself, but you need to bring it up with your partner to really see if you are overreacting. Again, communication is key in any relationship, especially a long distance one. You need to be able to trust your partner and if your gut is telling you that something is wrong, you need to have that conversation with him.

 

I wish you the best of luck!

 

 

 

Junebug x

[Alaskan Daddy]

I don't know if your daddy is a bad daddy, but he has shown you who he is as a daddy. Remember that your feelings and desires and needs are just as important as his are. If he is not meeting your needs and desires there is nothing wrong with you ending the relationship. My personal opinion is that based on the information you have shared, I feel that maybe this man is not what you want or need as a daddy. I feel with all the feed back you have received here, that you have enough information to make the best decision for your heart. Good luck

[daddymind]

LDR here. I'm in England, my babs in the US. You said you've been together for a week. Can I ask how long you were texting/talking before that? A week doesn't seem like a long time at all, but I don't want to judge purely on that.

 

Communication frequency in an LDR is especially important. Today I didn't respond for 10 minutes (I was cooking) and my babs got the all caps out (she is bossy and I love it). Expectations are different for everyone. Even if he has a busy schedule, he needs to be clear about that and warn you in advance. It should be on his mind if he truly cares about you. But again, it's difficult to say after a week.

 

I would set a time frame in your mind about how long you're going to give him to improve on this. If after that time he is still unresponsive, I think you'll have your decision.

Edited June 4, 2020 by daddymind

[LittleAndStitch]

So based on what you're saying he's hardcore gaslighting you. To keep it simple, leave his ass
 

Edited June 18, 2020 by LittleAndStitch

[JJBee]

Thank you everyone for helping me. I took your advice and brought up my troubles and without him opening and reading it, he deleted me. I didn’t feel an attachment for a long time and I don’t feel as heartbroken as I would have.

[Guest sshyguy123]

I'm sorry it had to end up that way m'lady, but now hopefully you'll find the perfect Daddy for you! just remember... trust your instincts, and don't ever be afraid or hesitate to set yout own standards!!! You never have to 'just settle'

[Guest sshyguy123]

Your views and thoughts are just as important as anyone elses, and your wants and needs as a little should ALWAYS be your Daddy's priority. Clear, consice communication is also incredibly important for any relationship, but especially for a LD one! Use this as a learning experience... now you have a better idea of what you require of a LD Daddy

[MissPattch]

I'm sorry to hear that, JJBee. At least you can move forward now with finding somebody who will give you everything you need You absolutely did the right thing by saying what you needed to, and i'm glad his reaction wasn't so hard for you to process. Theres a saying about kissing a few frogs before you find your prince charming, he was obviously one of the toads

[DD_UK_Fun_Guy]

Sorry they to experienced that