What makes a brat a brat?

[Kkrocker]

So I'm not a good listener,never really been good with authority. But I'm not difficult to deal with,when I'm told to do something and I don't want to do it , I'm just like "nah". Is there such thing as a laid-back lazy brat? Cause I don't act like the brats I've read about but I just don't listen

[princessfreckles]

Little to little:

 

That sounds bratty to me lol. I've gotten in moods where I felt particularly defiant. My responses to questions? Sarcasm. A lot of sarcasm. From the Caregivers I've chatted with, most see bratty behavior two ways. Some find brattiness amusing and a fun challenge. Others definitely don't feel the same way, and make a point to avoid brats when looking for a little. It honestly depends on the caregiver, so ask the specific one you're interested in about their thoughts on brats. All those I've chatted with (keep in mind that's a small pool of 30ish mommies and daddies) want to find out why their little is being a brat. Is it stress or hurt feelings over something else? Is it being upset that they have to do a certain hated chore? Are they just testing their boundaries or if their caregiver will follow through on punishments? Something completely different? If they find out the why, they can work with the little to improve their behavior.

 

If the brattiness isn't a symptom of some deeper issue, but that is the little's personality? I know a couple of caregivers who walked away from the dynamic because the brat behavior was disrespectful and the relationship suffered. Why bring that up? You have to ask yourself why you're being defiant, not listening, etc. When you're in a dynamic with a caregiver, you negotiate then agree to your rules and even punishments. So, you're not surprised to find out you did something that you weren't supposed to. You both talk about your expectations and goals from the dynamic. That's imperative because the dynamic, like any vanilla relationship is based on honest communication and consent. I think to have a successful dynamic, you have know and be honest with yourself; just as your caregiver has to know him or herself. 

 

I hope this is helpful!

[LittlePupRune]

If the label brat is something you like, then use it. But I'd also like to point out that being a little does not automatically mean you're submissive. Could just mean you're not submissive or into listening and obeying authority (hence you saying you're not good with authority). However that would be something to negotiate in any relationships. Some caregivers want a power exchange relationship, some don't. Your style and preference should line up with theirs and if not then you're most likely incompatible.

[Guest QueenJellybean]

in my opinion, there's a massive difference between being a brat in the confines of a consensual relationship where being bratty for the sake of getting attention is mutually agreed upon & desired, 

& being disobedient for the sake of pushing boundaries & limits in order to see how far you can go before your Dom gets upset with you.

 

i'm definitely guilty of the second one with my Sir, and they call me out on it every time. 

the best thing you can be is aware of what you're doing, & be vigilant about catching yourself when you're pushing too hard.

 

one is something fun involved in play,

the other is disrespectful & can be hurtful.