It's bad. I know (⌣́_⌣̀)

[LittleAndStitch]

WARNING: might be triggering to those who struggle with self harm 

 

Okay let's get this out of the way first: I know it’s bad. I shouldn’t do it. I could literally kill myself but it feels sooo good. 

 

Self harm. It’s bad, period. But what is one to do when it feels good? I first hurt myself on purpose when I was about 14 years old. I was going through shit and couldn’t cope plus my friends were doing it so it’s cool right? Wrong. Long story short it began to feel good. It hurt obviously but that’s what made it so great. I’m doing better now and I have much better coping skills but sometimes I still want to feel the sensation of the razor slicing through my skin. The more blood I drew, the better it felt. Just typing this I know I sound really fucking crazy but I promise I’m sane. So, I guess what I am trying to ask is… are there healthy ways to feel that feeling without permanently scaring myself? Or is there something else I can do that doesn’t make me sound like a horrible person?

 

[Alaskan Daddy]

First you are not a horrible person. Lots of us have struggles that we know are not healthy but give us a certain 'high'. It could be drugs, alcohol or even sex. I feel that by admitting you have this struggle is a good first step to beating it. What I have read about cutting and ways to beat or control the urge is finding something else that can give you as much happiness as cutting. One thing that is mentioned a lot is listening to your favorite play-list as you are moving around. You can beat this one urge at a time. My only question is this; Have you asked a therapist of some type for suggestions?

[MissPattch]

What Alaskan Daddy said is true. You aren't a horrible person. People cope with stuff in all kinds of different ways. Its awesome that you have new ways  of coping, breaking that habit is the hardest step. When i used to get angry ( i had anger issues) i used to break stuff. Throw stuff at walls just to see them shatter. I got a rush at seeing my own power. After a few therapy sessions, we talked about exercise induced, hormonal "highs". When ever i got angry, i would walk, for miles, until my muscles burned, and when i got back home, i would flop onto the bed, and i would feel almost euphoric. My body ached and hurt and was a little sore from all the exercise, but it taught me a new way to "feel", if that makes sense? If you haven't already, like Alaskan Daddy said above, ask a therapist for some ideas on how you can re-channel that energy <3

[LittleAndStitch]

therapist cost money that I don't have (＠￣Д￣＠；)

 

but i'm going to keep trying to beat this. thank you for the encouragement 

[LittleTeacup]

I have a friend who started self harming last December and every month or so does it again when something overwhelmingly stressful happens. She lives in Europe so all I can do is send her messages of support. I want to hug her every time though. Self harm does not make you a horrible person. It’s an extreme response to high stress and can be found in animals too, such as trapped mice biting off their tails and pulling out their own fur. The way out is to know what triggers it and reduce the stress surrounding those triggers. Having support from family and friends makes it a lot easier though. I give you all the support I can from my screen to yours *hugggggg*

[Guest XoX_SweetPea_XoX]

I am a cutter, and have been in support groups for it early on. I started at 8 years old, and still have relapses when overly stressed. A helpful tip from the people who treated me, but this was for me so you should still seek help. Wear a rubber band around your wrist, and fling it when you feel the urge to hurt, remember to take deep breaths. You are not a horrible person, it is more common then you would think, and there are support groups for it out there that can help. I know at least here in Canada they have one in every city, it's just like any other support group, AA, NA etc. type.