What we can do for our caregivers.

[LittlePupRune]

A lot of times cg/l conversations tend to revolve around what the little/middle wants or needs. I'm wondering if we could start a brainstorm on what us littles/middles can do for our caregivers. It can be unique to your situation or a general idea.

Off the top of my head what I provide for my Sir:

- obedience

- a listener

- a helper

- physical affection

- household chores

- someone to help him be accountable

[Guest BigDaddyDominant]

how about helping with our mental illnesses/dealing with stress?

[LittlePupRune]

how about helping with our mental illnesses/dealing with stress?

Definitely!

[DeltaSaves]

how about helping with our mental illnesses/dealing with stress?

 

 

Very much so. I guess that as a person who has more service sub tendencies and my natural desire to want to help people, I want to also be support for a CG. This world is filled with a lot of stress and your partner should be there for you as a shoulder to lean on when it is needed. If you can't turn to them, who do you turn to after a hard day? 

[Guest Shashca]

I've always wondered this too. Our caregivers take care of us but who takes care of them? Ya know. There should be a little101.

[SmolAetherr]

telling your cg they are loved and accepted, very under rated

also playing with their hair and singing to them if they like that

[baby_k]

It's normal adult relationship in the end, so:

• listen
• encourage
• support
• be attentive
• give gifts
• do their chores or grocery shopping for them
• physical intimacy ( not just sex but like shoulder massage )
• let them know they are cared and loved ( take into account their love language )
• try to take off some of their burndens
• kick their ass when needed
• call them out on their crap ( this is one of most loving things to do even in the moment of then not so valued )
• help them improve their life
• cook or feed them otherwise
• take them to holidays or little trips
• cheer them up when needed
• try to make them laugh
• let them choose the movie / restaurant / .... sometimes
• buy their favourite snacks from store ( keep their diet okay still, and don't over feed anyone / give unnecessary temptations )
• send them cute messages or leave cute notes
• do things they like ( whether it's attending some event or hobby or dancing for them in your living room )
• show appreciation when they do something nice for you, and try to return the favour too
• give your time and focus for them
• ....

[Little kaiya]

<p>

 

It's normal adult relationship in the end, so:

• listen
• encourage
• support
• be attentive
• give gifts
• do their chores or grocery shopping for them
• physical intimacy ( not just sex but like shoulder massage )
• let them know they are cared and loved ( take into account their love language )
• try to take off some of their burndens
• kick their ass when needed
• call them out on their crap ( this is one of most loving things to do even in the moment of then not so valued )
• help them improve their life
• cook or feed them otherwise
• take them to holidays or little trips
• cheer them up when needed
• try to make them laugh
• let them choose the movie / restaurant / .... sometimes
• buy their favourite snacks from store ( keep their diet okay still, and don't over feed anyone / give unnecessary temptations )
• send them cute messages or leave cute notes
• do things they like ( whether it's attending some event or hobby or dancing for them in your living room )
• show appreciation when they do something nice for you, and try to return the favour too
• give your time and focus for them
• ....

^^ This, a million times this.

[LittlePupRune]

I've always wondered this too. Our caregivers take care of us but who takes care of them? Ya know. There should be a little101.

 

I'm with baby_k on this. In the end it is an adult relationship and there needs to be a give and take between the two (or more) people involved in the relationship. If its strictly one way, burnout and feeling resentful and used are very possible (personal experience).

[LittlePupRune]

 

It's normal adult relationship in the end, so:

• listen
• encourage
• support
• be attentive
• give gifts
• do their chores or grocery shopping for them
• physical intimacy ( not just sex but like shoulder massage )
• let them know they are cared and loved ( take into account their love language )
• try to take off some of their burndens
• kick their ass when needed
• call them out on their crap ( this is one of most loving things to do even in the moment of then not so valued )
• help them improve their life
• cook or feed them otherwise
• take them to holidays or little trips
• cheer them up when needed
• try to make them laugh
• let them choose the movie / restaurant / .... sometimes
• buy their favourite snacks from store ( keep their diet okay still, and don't over feed anyone / give unnecessary temptations )
• send them cute messages or leave cute notes
• do things they like ( whether it's attending some event or hobby or dancing for them in your living room )
• show appreciation when they do something nice for you, and try to return the favour too
• give your time and focus for them
• ....

 

 

Definitely like this list. Thinking respect and proactive communication also fit.

[junebug0325]

 

It's normal adult relationship in the end, so:

• listen
• encourage
• support
• be attentive
• give gifts
• do their chores or grocery shopping for them
• physical intimacy ( not just sex but like shoulder massage )
• let them know they are cared and loved ( take into account their love language )
• try to take off some of their burndens
• kick their ass when needed
• call them out on their crap ( this is one of most loving things to do even in the moment of then not so valued )
• help them improve their life
• cook or feed them otherwise
• take them to holidays or little trips
• cheer them up when needed
• try to make them laugh
• let them choose the movie / restaurant / .... sometimes
• buy their favourite snacks from store ( keep their diet okay still, and don't over feed anyone / give unnecessary temptations )
• send them cute messages or leave cute notes
• do things they like ( whether it's attending some event or hobby or dancing for them in your living room )
• show appreciation when they do something nice for you, and try to return the favour too
• give your time and focus for them
• ....

 

 

Yes!! In the end, it is an adult relationship between two educated, consensual adults that need to act like adults when it comes to things that are "hard to talk about". I am always an available support for my Daddy whenever he needs it. He is my rock and I am his. There are always two people to every relationship.

 

 

 

Junebug x

[ValesKittenEEvee]

I think another thing that is overlooked is making sure our loving DD's, Mommy's and Cgv'rs are moving forward on their own dreams and goals. One aspect normally talked about in the DD/lg relationship is how the Daddy/Mommy or Cg insures their "little" is "growing" into the best version of his or herself possible (if you have that kind of dynamic, I know Witcher and i do)..but what are we, (as a "little/middle/pet") doing to make sure our DD/Mommy/CG or Owner's doing to achieve their own goals or dreams daily..not always putting us first?

 

This comes up for Witcher and i as i launch my business. This can be a big issue since i need a lot of help from him to make sure i get my own business off the ground..but i try to remember to make sure he is pushing forward on his own personal goals and dreams and not using mine as a distraction from his own objectives. A loving caregiver or partner often puts their own needs below those of their partner, but it is up to us as the "little/middle/pet/sub" to check in with ourselves and notice if our dreams are always on the forefront of our partner's focus and their own dreams are being left behind.

 

In a healthy relationship both partners are able to achieve a balance of success and fulfillment....no only one or the other.

 

Just a thought.

Edited May 23, 2020 by ValeriansKittyLittleMisEve

[LittleTeacup]

When I find a caregiver someday I want to:

 

Give them so many cuddles

Do something to make them smile every day

Talk to them when they feel sad

Pick wild food for them

Pick flowers for them

Take care of them when they feel ill

Be kind to their family and friends

Give them kisses!

Encourage them in all their goals

Be a safe person to confide in

Bring them little presents

Work on myself to let as much love in as I can

Always be willing to help

 

And I'm sure lots of other things I can't think of right now!

[pawsies]

Something important we can do for our caregivers is remind them that they don't have to take on that role all the time. Sometimes it gets to feel like too much, or maybe they're not in the right mindset to be taking care of another person. I think we should let them know that we won't find them any less of a Caregiver if they're not in that headspace 100% of the time.

They need to know that they can be emotional, feel scared, worried, insecure, and that doesn't make us feel like they're any less because they can't be hard and strong all the time. For some of us it goes without saying but for others the caregiver may dislike seeming vulnerable in front of their little and will suppress their own troubles/emotions so they can take care of their little.

I just wanted to highlight this specifically because I don't think anybody said it in this way. But all the responses so far have been fantastic and I 100% agree at the end of the day it's an adult-adult relationship and we need take care of each other like we would do in any other relationship ♡