I think I'm doing what's best... breakoff, but hurts

[Spacegirlxoxo]

After a few months of not being together in a ddlg way, My daddy was telling me how he missed being my daddy so much he almost wanted to just be my daddy forever when we got into it again. I think our timing is off as he's been talking to a girl for the past few months I believe. They have been off and on for a year or more maybe.

 

He has been my daddy for two, since before he met her. To clarify, he told me he was never with me like that while he was with her. I wouldn't mind but I think she would. She wants to call him her boyfriend but he doesn't want that. I asked him if they were serious now... He told me she's promising to change and that it's a possibility that they might become serious again. He asked me if i would want him to be my temporary daddy even if it is very temporary. I said temporary, yes. Very, no. We jokingly said at least a month. Two weeks in, he said he talked with her and he's going to be getting serious with her again. The day before that, he's been with me intimately. All this is long distance btw including him and her. After saying something like "I missed it so much I wanted to just be your daddy forever i mean like a lonnngg time like years" days before this with her, I'm getting confused.

 

 

I obvi can't talk about it with any of my friends or family as the ddlg aspect is so important to us. He is my best friend, who we have developed a very strong intimate bond of sexual and friendship and love.

 

 

As of the day he told me he was getting serious with her again, I essentially removed contact because I feel like they should sort their stuff out. I know he loves being my daddy and me being his little girl. I dont want to interfere with them and I probably just want better communication from him honestly. I probably brought up our dynamic at a wrong time, and am thankful it's over because it felt weird since the following happened. He never told me about her and him recently, I found out through social media and it almost broke our friendship because it's all founded on trust and open honesty with me. He was upset with her advertising him as her bf when he is not. I wouldn't have minded if he told me he was talking to her when i mentioned how much i missed my daddy. I think he just likes it too much and maybe didnt want to hurt my feelings or jeopardize losing me in that way.

 

 

I know this is the right thing, to remove contact. I'll still want him and nothing will change as he made his decision to get serious with her again. I just feel like he is confused.

 

 

*Kind of what brought this all on was I was thinking about moving on with somebody new and he expressed lots of regret and wishes of what we could have done together. When me and that other person didn't work out, I think he and I both knew we wanted ddlg together again. I think he's just with her right now so I'm going to let them be. Idk if I'll get back with him or even be a friend to him again. We'd need serious communication. I said all I needed to say, showed him what I wanted as little. Still he's choosing to continue talking to her again so I feel that must be what makes him happiest right even though i know as little i made him happiest in the world he told me. Ugh.

 

 

Anyway I'm rambling. A lot has unfolded and I've had literally no one to talk to so ty for reading this *♡*

 

I think I'm doing what's best it's just weird to me: his voicing of what he wants with me. I also didn't really give him a chance to explain further or comfort me once he told me he was getting serious with her again. I just deleted contact because it's easiest for me this way to be Happy.

[Starlight23]

I think you did the right thing. It sounds like while he did really want to be your daddy he wasn't serious enough about it because he was conflicted with his feelings for this other girl. To me, cutting off all contact is the best way to move forward for you to be happy and focus on yourself. Stay strong!

[Spacegirlxoxo]

Thank you ♡ I want him to be happy. I want to too.

[Spacegirlxoxo]

It's just annoying because lil me misses him but big me wants nothing to do with him right now. :/ its like day 4 or 5 so i think im doing pretty good.. :/

[Babesbunny]

Hi there,

I’m really sorry you had to go through that. It sucks that he was not communicative and honest with you. I’m so incredibly proud that you cut off contact with him. You should be proud of yourself too. Focus on yourself and remember not to shame yourself whenever you miss him. Missing someone you lost is a part of moving on. Please feel free to message me if you need help/ just want a new friend!

 

Stay safe and be well. It’ll be otay soon <3

[Spacegirlxoxo]

Yall he messaged last night just asking me to please reply that he is worried. I don't want to respond but i feel i have a responsibility to at least let him know im alive due to recent health issues. Do i? It is messing with my decision though because I want no contact. It's breaking me down so much because I'm weighing my pull of duty with want and standing by my decision.

 

Originally i had him blocked for the first few days and decided to unblock as I think that's the right way so I will not block. We were very deep friends for two full years, on top of dd. This is just conflicting. ♡ I come first and I made my decision. Maybe smoke signals in a few days or wait for more messages that I'm comfortable responding to could be my option. I just don't like him worrying ♡ I'm trying to stand strong tho.

 

 

*edited to be cut out: I had deep feels but he didn't reciprocate, at least is confusing because he is not direct on his feelings. Him messaging me is just conflicting me. I should prepare that he still wants to be friends and me in his life but I just want time away and freedom to be authentic and whole because he always wanted me to not have feelings for him. I can't be in his life without feeling them because i ♡ him for who he is. . . I just need time away, to heal and be me authentically. Feel the things and be me. It's interesting when you're a sub and you put someone first *but you know you should put yourself first *but then you add love and it all gets confusing. Help if feel inclined pls. Really just need strong words and to know if it's okay that I don't respond, even if he is deeply worried..