What is it with “Daddy’s or CGs” thinking they can call you pet names..

[Little kaiya]

"Unfortunately there seems to be a significant number of men who seem to think they can immediately be dominant.

 

The moral of the story here is that if a man says or does something that makes you uncomfortable, or makes you question his motives, then go with your gut and steer clear."

Perhaps the more accurate moral of the story is, "If ANYONE says or does something that makes you uncomfortable, steer clear."

 

I will acknowledge it is probably more often men that dive into titles too quickly but it is certainly not just men doing that to be fair.

 

The gender of the person assuming they can be dominant without consent is far less the issue, and also distracts from the real issue, which is PEOPLE assuming they can be dominant OR be submissive to someone and use titles without the other person's consent. Whether it's D/s, DDlg, petplay or whatever form of BDSM, it should ALWAYS be based on mutual consent and without that it should really throw up a red flag.

 

So, whether it's a caregiver using pet names, a little using titles, a man, a woman, someone who is agender, some combination or something not listed, the moral is perhaps best put forward as, "mutual consent and respect is critical and if it isn't there, well, trust your gut and dont walk away, RUN".

Edited May 19, 2020 by Little kaiya

[MysticSand]

Hot topic and I need to reply!

 

I’ve been recently looking for a DD or a CG, and 75% of people who have reached out or I’ve messaged instantly call me pet names or tell me “you need to call me Sir, always address all caregivers as Sir even if they’re not yours.”

Like unpopular opinion here but I don’t think so. I don’t owe you anything as far as I’m concerned. I’m just tired of having to weed through fake Daddy’s ):

I laughed reading the last part of the first line. Someone actually said this? What planet are they even on? Big YIKES.

 

I think it's tough to be openly on the search for someone as creepers automatically think it's an open invite to inbox and be pushy. Nope nope nope.

As others have said, it's a great way of quickly sifting out people who are not fit for you but it's for sure still super annoying.

 

Personally, if someone messages me I expect the initial message to be your typical "Hi I'm ____ and I saw your post about _____" or something along those lines.

Anything other than a normal ice breaker or intro message is just automatic unfriend.

Another big red flag is if someone inboxes and asks to take the convo to another talking platform without even exchanging a few messages first. Weiiiiiiiiird.

 

But back to your OP. You're absolutely correct in that you don't owe anyone anything. People can go ahead and say they prefer to be called this or that or tell you their preferred pronoun, but titles and such are just way out of bounds.

[LittleCelticLass]

My unsolicited 2 cents.

 

I'm sick of the fake Dom/sick little thing. Not everyone is eachothers cup of tea. Not liking something, is not the same as it being fake.

 

That said, someone insisting on a title they haven't earned is a huge red flag. On both side of the coin.

 

I think, a huge part of why this has become an issue is the fact that usernames can be anything, but use of pet names without permission is against the rules. It's a double standard, and can be super confusing to new people. Again, this is on both sides of the coin. A person with the username PrincessBabyKitten (not pointing out anyone, just made up the name) or MasterDaddy (again not trying to call out anyone specific) is setting everyone up to fail.

Princess, Baby, Kitten, Master, and Daddy are all pet names, so according to the site rules, I can't use any of your name to greet you when you're new. And, it invites people who don't bother to read the rules, to use those honorifics without pause. Personally, it gives me the heebies, and if that's your name I'm gonna call you PBK or MD.

Anyway, I digressed. No, OP, you are not wrong. Titles/honorifics should only be used when both parties have consented.