I hate me, myself and I

[Little_bear^^]

Why does it feel so hard to continue living.. I dont have the will to live at times.. is this all my fault for staying this way? My own fault for not getting better? Im whining here, I know.. just go on and delete my post, I wish I could delete myself from this world too..

[Daxter]

Mental Health is as important as Body Health. If you are having suicidal thoughts please look for a psychologist. Please seek professional help, it is not shameful to look out for ourselves. You are very welcome in any community, including this one.

[Dangerously_Well]

If you break an arm you go to a doctor.

 

If your dog/cat is sick you take it to a vet

 

If your thinking is upsetting you, see a psychologist.

 

They can help you.

 

Please...

[Little_bear^^]

A psychologist told me this, "You can only help someone who wants to help themselves. You've been given a torch and a ladder, but you still chose to stay in the abyss and darkness." He didnt even know me that well to state a conclusion like that.. his words struck a nerve, I fucking hate it when I get triggered by this simple things.. but it hurts a lot.. his words feels like hes implying that Im the problem, Im the one that doesnt wanna get better.. At first I was mad, but then it got me thinking.. was it really my fault? If it was that easy to feel better, then why Im still like this?

[SmolAetherr]

A psychologist told me this, "You can only help someone who wants to help themselves. You've been given a torch and a ladder, but you still chose to stay in the abyss and darkness." He didnt even know me that well to state a conclusion like that.. his words struck a nerve, I fucking hate it when I get triggered by this simple things.. but it hurts a lot.. his words feels like hes implying that Im the problem, Im the one that doesnt wanna get better.. At first I was mad, but then it got me thinking.. was it really my fault? If it was that easy to feel better, then why Im still like this?

what he means is you have to help yourself, tools can only get you so far you need to pick them up and make something with them otherwise they are useless, man did wonders with tools, just imagine what you could do if you picked up the tools and made something awesome?

 

nobody is to blame, life is hard but we all have the tools to make the best of it and believe it or not some do make some pretty awesome lives!

[Thequeen]

Hi Little Bear,

 

I have always been a personal believer that there is a certain amount of help you must give yourself. Once you get to this point the most important step is getting help so I think its really great you took that step. The issue is though if you don’t want to get better you never will. Your mind is stronger than you body, “mind over matter”. You can change so much about yourself with thought whether that be negative o positive is up to you though. 

 

See the issue the counselor may want to help you get better but lets say you start taking antidepressants and everyday you tell yourself “I’m not getting better” then you sadly won’t get better. You need to at least relax you mind and allow you body to go through the changes that happen, or be willing to let those into your life. 

 

Our minds are such powerful parts of ourself it is intimidating to think of but its literally debilitating to lose them as well. It’s okay to need help which you seem to be seeking so again good job but you need to let it happen within yourself. Please if your suicidal thoughts continue or get worse make sure you have a plan of who you will call on your road to recovery. 

 

The times we live in right now have made a lot oof people more aware of their own personal issues so you can also keep that in mind. These times can be so stressful for any number of reasons so if these changes are recent you might solely be affected by the times rather than anything else. 

 

Good luck and feel free to privately message me should you wish or need. I always love to be here for my community. 

[Little_bear^^]

Thank you all.. for the kind messages and all, Im also confused.. I dont know whether I really do have problem with my mental health or that Im just overreacting.. but everyday was like hell, the thing Im scared the most is when my negative thoughts are stronger than my consciousness.. I dont really wanna die.. but why do I have suicidal thoughts?

[Daxter]

You don't need to have suicidal thoughts to speak with a psychologist, the same way you don't need to be sick to go to a doctor. It's okay to be confused. It's important to be safe, and feel safe. Only you can help yourself, so please search and reach out for a trained professional so you can discuss your feelings and thoughts. You don't have to live feeling like everyday is hell, you can change it

[daddymind]

How your mind is, or the thoughts you have are not your fault. Think about it this way, we don't author our thoughts, they just appear in consciousness and we have to deal with them, either filing them away or acting upon them. But remember that they are just thoughts. We often give our thoughts more power than we should and we should ask ourselves why that is. We often get lost in thought, not realising we don't have to follow them. If you can practice being more aware of these thoughts when they arise and say to yourself "I accept the existence of this thought, but it does NOT define who I am. I do NOT have to follow it" then that's a good start. I know a lot of people benefit from mindfulness meditation in this way. It takes practice, but simply being more aware of thoughts as they arise and giving yourself that "subject/object" space between you and the thoughts can help tremendously. Be the watcher of the thought rather than letting the thought take over your entire being.

 

I've said to my babs many times before, it's not our thoughts themselves that are the problem. It's our relationship with thought that determines how attached we become to them. Thoughts alone cannot hurt you. They are just images in the mind. It's how we identify with thought that gives them power.

 

I would also ask, who is this "I" or "myself" you hate. There is only one you as a subjective experience. Ask yourself what is really going on when you say "I hate myself". Who is the I and who is the self it hates? The more you break it down, the more you see it's just mind games. You don't have to play.

 

Just food for... thought.

Edited May 15, 2020 by daddymind

[Vampiress]

I have a lot of experience with counselors and mental help over the course of my life, and honestly your psychologist wasn't wrong. When I was younger the counseling was not a help because I resisted it. I wasn't listening, I was too scared, I just wasn't ready. When you're not ready to do this for yourself, not a single person can help you or make you get better, not even the professionals. You have to be at the point that you WANT help. You have to be ready to listen. You have to be ready to hear the hard truths about yourself and open to a lot of self-analysis and changings your ways. If you go in and deny and reject everything you're told, you're not ready yet. The path to recovery is only successful when you're in it for yourself and ready to climb that mountain and go through every single difficult step of the way. If you're not ready, that doesn't make you a bad person though. Just be very honest with yourself. It isn't your fault, but it also isn't the therapist's fault if they're unable to help you yet. Think of it as a partnership towards your wellness and mental health. They're there to help you but they can't do all the heavy lifting.

[Little_bear^^]