Help with boyfriend

[lilamulan]

My boyfriend and I have always been in a ddlg/BDSM relationship since I told him I was interested in that and I have loved it. He just told me he doesn't like treating me as a submissive or a child at all. I'm honestly heart broken and we've been doing this for years and he just told me now. I don't know what to do, and he wants me to try to stray away from acting like a submissive or little. I'm upset and I don't know if I can be happy without that dynamic. I love him and we've been together for over five years but I don't know what to do... Please could someone give me some advice or comfort?

[DaddyCharles44]

Couples

often grow apart. 5 years is a good run for many couples. I am sure you have both grown, and matured, in many ways over these 5 years. You are both very different people than when you started together and desires and passions change. You are both too young to 'settle' for anything or anyone than isnt the soulmate you both deserve. He may have new legitimate cravings and passions than when you first met. The fact that you feel in love then doesnt mean those feelings will last forever. And if they havent, then be happy you had a wonderful 5 years together. You obviously are passionate about submission and being a little, don't give that up, it is a part of you and who you are. If you throw it away because you 'love him' you will have regrets of your own in the coming years. Appreciate what you had. Now, make a clean break and find someone who wants the real you, and not someone they make conform to their needs only. Your needs are important, you will find someone who appreciates you and your submissiveness and the Little girl in you, and tho you wont believe this...you will find yourself falling even more in love with this new DD than you ever were with the old one. Good luck, and remember you deserve nothing but true happiness.

[Nymph]

My boyfriend and I have always been in a ddlg/BDSM relationship since I told him I was interested in that and I have loved it. He just told me he doesn't like treating me as a submissive or a child at all. I'm honestly heart broken and we've been doing this for years and he just told me now. I don't know what to do, and he wants me to try to stray away from acting like a submissive or little. I'm upset and I don't know if I can be happy without that dynamic. I love him and we've been together for over five years but I don't know what to do... Please could someone give me some advice or comfort?

 

 

If he thinks you are acting and you are not, that is a big problem and need to clear this up... a good partner will love you for who you are and will not ask you to change unless of course you were hurting yourself or others. However five years is a long time, he probably has grown out of it and doesn't understand this is not always a phase, but a lifestyle for some.

 

Is he super stressed? sometimes being a caregiver can get overwhelming and I think a lot of people, because of the name, forget the caregiver needs to be taken care of sometimes. It doesn't mean he becomes a little, but you may need to show your love and appreciation a bit more on those rough days, pamper him a bit. Have you done this? could he be worn out?

 

Try to speak to him when you are calm and be clear, ask him what changed and clarify what has not changed in you. Is he comparing his relationship with other friends? that you act like a child in little space does not mean you are not mature... if anything knowing what you want, what you are and respecting your partner makes you more mature than most people out there.

[SmolAetherr]

Take Nymph's advice!

 

not really any advice to give personally that has not already been covered, if he isnt interested in ddlg and you can't live without it...

Edited May 13, 2020 by Aetherr

[Vampiress]

Lots of good advice given already. Charles point out your age, and honestly if there isn't some underlying issue like stress making your boyfriend want to drop the responsibility of Dom/Daddy then... honestly, it's often advised to people who are around your age to consider waiting on things like marriage (using this as an example) because when you're in your 20's you change SO MUCH while you're figuring out who you are as an adult and a person. It's not uncommon at all for young couples to grow apart and go in different directions. Perhaps now he's just realizing that what seemed interesting to him at a younger age isn't really for him. Maybe he grew out of it, and I'm not sure there really is anything you can do about that. I'd talk to him and ask him to be open and honest about why he's changed his mind on this and with whatever he tells you, then you can decide what is best for you.