Vent - Daddy won’t come see me ever after the state’s lockdown was lifted.

[Train]

I’ve already told him I’m frustrated and lonely, and all the details why. He knows all of this.

 

It’s been two months since last saw each other, and two weeks since the lockdown was lifted. To be fair, I work in medicine. But I do all of the safety precautions, and a I’ve been tested with a “negative” result.

 

But he still won’t meet with me He talks about how he wants to, and that he wants to go do things, and that he misses me... so why won’t be some see me..? He tells me it’s because he’s sad and doesn’t feel right... well, yeah! We all are! Wouldn’t spending time together soothe some of that?

 

I’m just really hurt and sad and angry and confused and mad.

[Vampiress]

I would understand if his reasoning was that he felt the lockdown was lifted too soon (I feel this way myself) but if his only reasoning is because he's too sad then I'm not sure what to think of that, unless he's so depressed that he can't bring himself to spend time with anyone. I would try reassuring him that you want to be there for him and help, and if he's not receptive to that I'd try a little more to see if there's something else he's not mentioning. I understand it hurts a lot, I'd feel pretty rejected too.

[Alaskan Daddy]

I understand how you are feeling. The first I would do is ask him if he being honest with you. If your daddy is honestly sharing his feelings with you, then I feel you need to respect those feelings, just as he needs to understand and respect your frustratons. If it was up to me I would ask him to give you am exact timeline as to when you will be together again. (I don't know is not a good response). You deserve that much.  Are you and him doing any face-time type of communication?  Good luck and hang in there. 

[SmolAetherr]

sounds to me like he may be having a hard time mentally or physically, its not just the lockdown.. he needs you to be there for him on his terms not yours.

[Guest hideouslovely]

That would feel hurtful.  I know that a lot of people are finding our current situation very difficult and it's taking a mental and physical toll.  But this sounds like it could be solved with some more communication on his part.  Why is he feeling sad?  What doesn't feel right?  Is he talking to you about these things?  Two weeks seems like enough time to see how people in general are reacting to the lockdown being lifted and to see how numbers are affected so it seems unlikely that it's a fear of the virus and being infected.

 

I think that Alaskan is right about the timeline.  At least knowing when he feels ready gives you the ability to make a plan and leave the "not knowing" behind.  I hope you manage to talk things through and can see each other soon!

[Train]

If it was up to me I would ask him to give you am exact timeline as to when you will be together again. (I don't know is not a good response). You deserve that much.

I’ve asked him this many different times, and “I’m not sure,” “I wish I could give you an exact answer,” and other similar ‘uncertain’ responses are all he has ever given me.

 

We communicate over text message. No FaceTime, or phone calls. I’ve tried to get his number several times, but he dodges the topic. He has told me that he lives with a roommate and for him to have private conversations he has to leave his apartment or go sit outside.

[Train]

sounds to me like he may be having a hard time mentally or physically, its not just the lockdown.. he needs you to be there for him on his terms not yours.

I want to be an available support for him... but he seems to block me out. I plan to bring this up to him as soon as we next see each other (because he seems to dodge topics he does not want to open up about.) Regarding the “dodging,” I can understand a portion of it, as he is very private and we are still only 5 or 6months into getting to know each other. So it’s not like he’s going to want to dump all of his private things immediately. But I’m justified in my own, independent feelings.

[Train]

That would feel hurtful. I know that a lot of people are finding our current situation very difficult and it's taking a mental and physical toll. But this sounds like it could be solved with some more communication on his part. Why is he feeling sad? What doesn't feel right? Is he talking to you about these things? Two weeks seems like enough time to see how people in general are reacting to the lockdown being lifted and to see how numbers are affected so it seems unlikely that it's a fear of the virus and being infected.

 

 

He won’t open up, at least not through text messaging. I plan to sit down and talk to him about this when we next see each other face to face, as he avoids topics he does not seem comfortable about when it’s over text. He does disagree that the lockdown was lifted so early (for our state,) but... ugh. I don’t have a response for that part.

[Guest hideouslovely]

That's pretty rough. I don't want to imply that his feelings are unimportant but it does leave you to feel like you're drifting.

 

Is this behaviour unusual for him?

 

I wish I could better express that I feel for you.

[Vampiress]

So... you've met before, but he won't give you his number? And he says he lives with a roommate but are you sure if he is? That makes me wonder if he's married or something, there has definitely been issues with Daddies hiding relationships that they're already in. If you're this many months into a relationship, I'd expect him to be more open and forward with you. Just be careful please.

[junebug0325]

So... you've met before, but he won't give you his number? And he says he lives with a roommate but are you sure if he is? That makes me wonder if he's married or something, there has definitely been issues with Daddies hiding relationships that they're already in. If you're this many months into a relationship, I'd expect him to be more open and forward with you. Just be careful please.

 

Agreed. I sense a major red flag there. Have you met his roommate? Have you been to his house to see who lives there (ie. you might see some belongings that belong to another girl there). I understand from one of your previous posts that you haven't known him long.. 5 or 6 months is what you said, but I would be really cautious about it if he's being distant and doesn't want to come see you along with not giving you any specific answers about anything.

 

If you've already told him that you are hurt, missing him, want to be an available support for him and he still isn't giving you any leeway to how he is feeling or giving you any type of reasoning besides "I'm sad"... then I would be cautious.

 

I know that you are hurting and I can totally understand, and maybe what we are saying doesn't apply but to me those are some major red flags.

 

If you want to talk more privately about the situation feel free to send me a message, I would be happy to help you or to just chat to get your mind off of things.

 

 

 

Junebug xxx