Long distance relationship

[Kittenprincess1]

Kinda a vent sorry but yea 

 

 My daddy and i have been in long distance relationship ever since the virus started.

 

So about bout 2 days ago in text daddy had told me he wanted to be a better person and that he still loved and care for me but that he felt it was best to breakup cause he didnt feel ready for being in a serious relationship ,so my response to that in that day had been to obviously cry and since we went through so much together it really took a toll on my emotions .I had asked him why he felt like that and he said because all the things weve gone through and situations and he felt like he wasnt ready cause he want me to be the best person I can be but he felt he should be better too and thats why he was thinking it would be better to breakup . I later told him that I dont want a perfect relationship and our relationship doesnt have to be perfect,even if our relationship had flaws I just wanted to make it work and learn from mistakes together not break up and I was crying from just texting when all this was happening .Later on he told me a few minutes later he was sorry he made me cry and he didnt mean it and that he just feels scared that mistakes will happen again and he didnt know what he was thinking. he later on said that scared  from all the events that happened before quarantine and long distance which was the little pregnancy scare we had and he felt  stressed cause weve been apart due to long distance and other problems hes been having and that he took all his anxietys and stresses on me with the whole long distance thing happening.so afterwards I forgave him with fear texting that I didnt want daddy to leave literally crying so much that day and my emotions got messed up and he was just their afterwards telling me hes sorry and that hes here he didnt mean it and he wasnt leaving.

 

(thats what happened that day)

 

a little update I still feel really affected from what had happened currently and this whole long distance thing is new to us along with building the relationship.but srry this was a vent.Has anyone ever experienced this in long distance or experience/experiencing something similiar?

 

feel free to comment advice or anything

Edited April 30, 2020 by Kittenprincess1

[radiant]

I was in a long distance relationship for the first year of my relationship and it's weird because distance can really mess with feelings and how the brain processes them. There were moments were I felt like it'd be better for both of us to just call it quits (and I voiced this once or twice) but we never actually broke up. We got really close once, we didn't speak for a week, but we agreed to meet at the end of that week and spoke in person about everything. We agreed that the next time one of says it's time to call it quits would be the last.

 

My point - yes, it can happen, especially in long distance, but it shouldn't be the default response. Breaking up should be a huge deal and it should not be thrown around into the conversation unless it is something that is being seriously considered. Obviously, there are MANY factors to take into account and every relationship is different but in my opinion, people who say "we should break up" or "I want to break up" multiple times are being emotionally manipulative and that is not okay.

 

I'm not saying that's what's happening here, all I'm saying is be careful to not let it go down that route. 

[MissPattch]

Hey Kittenprincess, Im sorry you're having a hard time at the moment.  Going from having that level of intimacy to being seperated for such a long time can cause all kinds of insecurities and issues to come up. My Daddy and i are long distance too, and its not been easy for us either. Its really good that you are both communicating and talking about the things that are worrying you, open and honest communication is essential. Forced seperation is a huge test on any relationship, and with a DDlg dynamic, is can feel even more so because of the nature of dependancy. Try not to dwell on what has happened, but if you really are struggling to deal with it, maybe another conversation is in order? It can be hard sometimes to admit that you aren't fully passsed something that you've talked about once, but until you get it all off your chest, you won't be able to move forward and enjoy what you have. Remember that this quarantine won't last for ever <3

[Starlight23]

I was in a long distance relationship with my daddy on and off again for about 4 years. We lived in different countries and didn't even meet until we had been dating about 9 months. Long distance is extremely difficult and can either strengthen or weaken feelings that were already there. In my opinion after reading what you've said, it doesn't sound like he's ready to be in this relationship with you. He sounds like he was already unsure before the virus and since you are now long distance it seems like it's strengthened it. And please correct me if I'm wrong but the pregnancy scare sounds like it was a really big jump for your relationship and he wasn't ready and it shook the foundation of your relationship. 

 

During my long distance relationship I thought about breaking up 2-3 times but never voiced them because I was never serious enough. Voicing them is either a way to manipulate your emotions or he was expressing his true feelings and he got upset that you were upset and took them back because he didn't want you to be upset. Either way, I'd be cautious going forward. Communication is key to making any relationship work, especially long distance. I wish you luck and remember that this won't last forever. 

[Kittenprincess1]

I was in a long distance relationship for the first year of my relationship and it's weird because distance can really mess with feelings and how the brain processes them. There were moments were I felt like it'd be better for both of us to just call it quits (and I voiced this once or twice) but we never actually broke up. We got really close once, we didn't speak for a week, but we agreed to meet at the end of that week and spoke in person about everything. We agreed that the next time one of says it's time to call it quits would be the last.

 

My point - yes, it can happen, especially in long distance, but it shouldn't be the default response. Breaking up should be a huge deal and it should not be thrown around into the conversation unless it is something that is being seriously considered. Obviously, there are MANY factors to take into account and every relationship is different but in my opinion, people who say "we should break up" or "I want to break up" multiple times are being emotionally manipulative and that is not okay.

 

I'm not saying that's what's happening here, all I'm saying is be careful to not let it go down that route. 

okay thankyou.Ill be carefull.hopefully try to talk to him more and see how hes feeling

[Kittenprincess1]

Hey Kittenprincess, Im sorry you're having a hard time at the moment.  Going from having that level of intimacy to being seperated for such a long time can cause all kinds of insecurities and issues to come up. My Daddy and i are long distance too, and its not been easy for us either. Its really good that you are both communicating and talking about the things that are worrying you, open and honest communication is essential. Forced seperation is a huge test on any relationship, and with a DDlg dynamic, is can feel even more so because of the nature of dependancy. Try not to dwell on what has happened, but if you really are struggling to deal with it, maybe another conversation is in order? It can be hard sometimes to admit that you aren't fully passsed something that you've talked about once, but until you get it all off your chest, you won't be able to move forward and enjoy what you have. Remember that this quarantine won't last for ever <3

Thankyou .ill take your advice into account.also I hope the best for you too   

[Kittenprincess1]

I was in a long distance relationship with my daddy on and off again for about 4 years. We lived in different countries and didn't even meet until we had been dating about 9 months. Long distance is extremely difficult and can either strengthen or weaken feelings that were already there. In my opinion after reading what you've said, it doesn't sound like he's ready to be in this relationship with you. He sounds like he was already unsure before the virus and since you are now long distance it seems like it's strengthened it. And please correct me if I'm wrong but the pregnancy scare sounds like it was a really big jump for your relationship and he wasn't ready and it shook the foundation of your relationship. 

 

During my long distance relationship I thought about breaking up 2-3 times but never voiced them because I was never serious enough. Voicing them is either a way to manipulate your emotions or he was expressing his true feelings and he got upset that you were upset and took them back because he didn't want you to be upset. Either way, I'd be cautious going forward. Communication is key to making any relationship work, especially long distance. I wish you luck and remember that this won't last forever. 

 

I was in a long distance relationship with my daddy on and off again for about 4 years. We lived in different countries and didn't even meet until we had been dating about 9 months. Long distance is extremely difficult and can either strengthen or weaken feelings that were already there. In my opinion after reading what you've said, it doesn't sound like he's ready to be in this relationship with you. He sounds like he was already unsure before the virus and since you are now long distance it seems like it's strengthened it. And please correct me if I'm wrong but the pregnancy scare sounds like it was a really big jump for your relationship and he wasn't ready and it shook the foundation of your relationship. 

 

During my long distance relationship I thought about breaking up 2-3 times but never voiced them because I was never serious enough. Voicing them is either a way to manipulate your emotions or he was expressing his true feelings and he got upset that you were upset and took them back because he didn't want you to be upset. Either way, I'd be cautious going forward. Communication is key to making any relationship work, especially long distance. I wish you luck and remember that this won't last forever. 

yes very true it did affect us both and we are still very young and making that little mistake not thinking affected both of us greatly cause we know we werent ready and we had the plan B stuff happening and wishing everything was okay and him checking on me . Also never thought about it that way on him taking back what he said cause me being upset.ill be careful and hopefully that everything works out with communication.