Impure regression [tw]

[Pink Plushie]

This is something I don't see talked about often and I'm having a hard time with it. Something very bad happened recently that made me slip into a bad depressive episode. I haven't self-harmed in 8 years but a couple days ago I relapsed and also impure regressed for the first time. I tried watching my favorite show I watch when little, but I couldn't stop crying and thinking bad thoughts. I always feared the possibility of impure regression, and now that I've experienced it I feel like my safe space is ruined. I fear because I'm in such a bad mental state I'm gonna impure regress again and I don't want it to happen but regressing is how my brain copes with bad situations. I don't even know what the point of this post is, I just wanted to vent and maybe hearing someone else's experience with it could help me 

[freekittyx3]

I’m sorry to hear of your struggles. I think this label of impure regression is not helping, and could be putting more pressure on yourself. While that is of course troublesome, I wouldn’t beat yourself up over that either. You’re human, and depression is serious and complicated. It’s different for everyone and there is no definitive answer there. Do you talk with a therapist? If not I would recommend connecting with one online, many services are available. In terms of the impure regression, it’s normal to feel that way at times. You might not always be in the right space for that and it’s okay. There are many other healthy coping methods and maybe you just need a new one for the time being ☺️ and that is okay! It’s easier said than done, and requires time and patience, but you have to be good to yourself and show yourself more love, you deserve it.

[Train]

I just read up on what umpire regression is, because I had never heard of it, and realized that my first few times regressing (both in my own and with my Daddy) were impure.

 

But I don’t think the title “impure” is an accurate representation. It’s simply how your mind is processing things; it’s neither good nor bad. It just *is.*

 

Obvious, getting in with a therapist is on the to-do list, but try to not shame yourself for re-experiencing past trauma while regressed. What I did my first few times was ask myself while I was regressed “why do so feel this way?” “what is around me (within the event I was reliving) that makes me feel scared?” I was able to process so much and so quickly. Rather than being a victim to my trauma I asked questions about it. You can do the same!

 

Slipping back into the cutting isn’t the end of the world. Your accomplishment of 8 years is not suddenly undone. This is simply a speed-bump to pass over. Start again today, and try to remember what techniques you used all those years ago to keep you safe.

 

Good luck!