My Daddy Cheated On Me...

[Malaria]

This is my first post, I apologize if I’m not following appropriate rules...

 

To begin, my daddy and I have been dating for two years! There was always chemistry with us, and we were always very happy - at least for the first year

Around the second year, we got kind of fight-ish, but we still loved each other a lot and we are intimate as well.

We don’t see each other often, usually once a month, but we called almost every night!

A few days ago I found out on my own (unfortunately due to logging into daddy’s account....) that he was cheating on me for A YEAR with another little!!!

He called her everything he called me, and asked her to imagine everything he tells me too...

He is my first boyfriend and first caregiver. This is my first heartbreak.

Daddy seems very regretful and he even threw up from guilt... What do you guys recommend?

I still love my daddy, but it hurts so much. They called together and did things I can’t even speak of, but I provided my daddy with those things too. I don’t understand

This is the worst pain ever, he even referred to himself as HER daddy while talking to her!!

He explained to me that he imagined me the whole time they called and stuff, and that everything we’ve ever done together was real. He’s promised to change too.

I’ve decided to give him a second chance as friends but I don’t know if this was the right choice..

Thoughts? Ideas? Punishment for daddy? Any recommendations? Thank you.

*** It was an ONLINE RELATIONSHIP with the other girl. They never met, nor does she live in the same stage as us either! She knew he had another little too, and girlfriend (both me.)

He says they never did anything romantic, it was a “Friends with Benefits” thing.

 

EDIT: He did break things off with her a little bit before I found out, and I’m more scared of being alone than being hurt by him again... I think he can change, but only if he really tries...

He apologized to my family too, but we’re putting some distance in between us to see what happens

I myself can’t get over how I overestimated his love and my trust for him... But I don’t think everything we’ve done is a lie either.

Edited April 15, 2020 by Malaria

[Little kaiya]

Personally I wouldn't be able to move past something like that and stay with the person. The sheer enormity of the breach of trust is just incredible. Cheating isn't something that happens by accident, it's a choice. In this case he made that choice for HALF the time you've been together . . . That's pretty serious I'd say.

 

To me this isn't a situation that can be dealt with by "a punishment for Daddy". It is a serious breach of trust that shows a lack of respect on his part. Honestly, it sounds more like he threw up because he got caught versus because he felt guilty. Ask yourself this, how long would it have continued to go on if you hadn't found out?

 

Any relationship requires trust but perhaps DDlg more so than other types of relationships. If you think you two can work it through then good luck. Personally though, I'd value myself more than to stay in a relationship where the other person doesn't respect or value me and that isn't just a romantic relationship but any kind of a relationship, even a friendship. I just couldn't have people in my life I couldn't trust.

[SmolAetherr]

a year is a long time, i find it hard to believe he felt any kind of guilt while being with her for a year

 

no he is not feeling guilt, he was acting out because he was caught

 

if you want to forgive him that is your choice and nobody here has the right to judge but he lied to both of you, used both of you and then had the nerve to act out when he was caught

he also had the nerve to say "i was thinking of you" that would make it far worse for me

 

fucking dump him and ghost him, literal blacklist him from your life if you want my opinion!!!!

people like that don't desserve the loyal and faithful people they destroy by being selfish self serving liars.

absolute piece of human trash

Edited April 15, 2020 by Aetherr

[Guest Teasing Tink]

I'm sorry that happened. I'm sure it's extremely painful -- especially with him being your first boyfriend/CG and all. That's rough.

 

I personally wouldn't be so quick to assume that he doesn't feel an ounce of guilt. If he's a narcissist serial cheater and this isn't a one time offense (he has a history of doing this in past relationships) -- then I would say that would most likely be true -- he probably doesn't feel guilt in that case and is a manipulator. But if not, he probably does feel an enormous amount of shame cuz not all cheaters are serial cheaters. The two types are very different. I don't know him, so I can't say one way or the other. I just know cheating isn't black and white. Literally anyone is capable of cheating under the right circumstances and no one is above it. I'm curious what cheating meant for him. Why did he feel the need to do it? It might be productive for y'all to have that conversation provided he doesn't feel too ashamed to actually be honest with you about what the real reasons were. That might be too difficult for him though since obviously sharing the nitty gritty details can be more painful. But I think it's useful in helping to understand these things even if you're not together. You shared a time together and he was your first. At the very least, it might provide closure.

 

That being said, I think putting space between you is wise. You've been hurt and need to heal. I think it says a lot about your character that you're able to be mature about it. But don't just stay with someone because you fear being alone. That's never a good reason to stay with someone and it's not fair to you or the person you're with to do that. He didn't have to apologize to your family and he did. So that's something -- assuming he was being truthful about that part. I'm not saying to take him back, just take some time to heal and figure out what you want.

Edited April 15, 2020 by Teasing Tink

[Guest Mr. J]

I'd say cut his dick off and force it down his lying-ass throat, but he's not worth the trouble. What you do is up to you, but if you've decided and just need a push then consider this the push. Best of luck and just know that you're not alone, no matter the choice.

[Vampiress]

I'm so sorry this happened, a lot of what needs to be said has already been said. I don't feel he's being entirely honest with you still. If he was thinking of you the whole time then why did he need her? And for a whole year? That's a super long time. If you hadn't caught him who knows if he'd have found another and kept on going? I too get the feeling he's just upset he was caught. Whatever you decide to do just be very careful with him and don't settle for less than you deserve just because you love him or feel awful without him. I know it's even harder because he was your first love and Daddy, but it is possible to love again and find even better with someone who'd never do that to you. I wish you all the best in whatever path you take.

[little*luck*]

I'd say cut his dick off and force it down his lying-ass throat, but he's not worth the trouble.

Mr. J, I'm with you on this one!!!!!!

 

Personally, I could not forgive him. It doesn't matter if it was an online thing or not. He CHEATED! My advice for you is to move on. I know it hurts now but you are worthy of a partner who is loyal, honest, and who wouldn't put themselves in a position to loose you. He lied and cheated for a year, that is a long time and is proof of his treachery. There is no way a man can love you and lie to you over and over again. You don't hurt the people you love.

 

"If you walked away from a toxic, negative, abusive, one-sided, dead-end low vibrational relationship or friendship—you won."---Lalah Delia

[Alaskan Daddy]

If i was to play the odds, then the odds say that if he cheated once he will do it again. He not only cheated on you, he betrayed you. I believe he has love for you, just not the way you love him. I believe he does not love you deeply, but I can tell you had deep love for him. If I was to bet, I would bet he would betray you again. You have a chance to get out without any more hurt, I would take this chance and start over. You will always be wondering if you can trust him again. You don't need that. I would take a long pause and be selfish with your heart and look at things with your mind and not your heart and I feel you will make the right choice for you. I wish you all the luck.

[SongofSparrow]

As someone who has been through something very similar, here is my advice to you:

 

Don't let the fear of being alone be the deciding factor to stay with him. If that's the only reason you are wanting to stay with him, you're staying with him for the wrong reasons. Whoever ultimately ends up being your partner is bound to hurt you. It's just part of being human- we fuck up and sometimes hurt the people we love the most. Be with someone who is more than just those occasional bad days. Be with someone who makes you smile more than they make you cry, and who makes you laugh more than argue.

 

I like that you both have agreed to put some distance in the relationship. You need time to recover because this probably came as a huge blow to you emotionally. I also think it is good because you need time to see if he is going to act on everything he has promised you. As convenient as it would be if we could magically fix all of the problems that come up in a relationship, we unfortunately can't do it. If someone wants to change, it's their choice to do so. You can help and encourage him all you want, but ultimately it will be on him to change. So if you do decide to stay together, give yourself time to really gauge if he is changing.

 

I also want to leave this here too, though. It was from a quote that I remember reading years ago, but don't remember it word for word:

If it ever comes down to where they have to make a choice between you or someone else, remove yourself as an option. If he really loved you, you would not be one of his choices. You would not be choice A, B, or C. You would be the only one. A choice would never have to be made. You deserve to be with someone who would never have to choose, because it would only ever be just you.

[MissPattch]

People who get caught cheating will say anything they think you want to hear to get you to forgive them, if they think for a second that you will cut all ties and walk away.  The throwing up isn't from the guilt of cheating on you, its from the panic rising in his stomach that he got caught. If you didn't agree to share him before you met him, you shouldn't be ok with "sharing" him now. Personally, lying is such a huge breach of trust for me, and if you couple that with cheating, it is unforgivable in my book. Only you can decide if remaining friends is the right thing to do, just beware of falling back into what went before, narcisists and sociopaths will keep you hanging on and do everything they can to keep you interested. Keep your wits about you, and make him earn your trust back, if that is the way you want to go. Taking a step back, and letting your emotions settle before talking to him would mean you are more in control of your head and heart, and less likely to be duped. There are honest guys out there, that wouldn't ever think twice of treating another human being this way, so don't feel you have to settle for the first one that came along... <3

[switch_ddlg]

My first Daddy cheated on me with someone online and I forgave him. Not even six months later he met up with a little and cheated on me IN PERSON with her. My Daddy after him cheated on me with a girl IN PERSON and I forgave him. Not even 30 days later he was messaging and sexting and talking about meeting up with her again. Once a cheater always a cheater imo.

[Guest DemureBelle]

When I came to know I was cheated on, it hurt. And it affected our relationship when I chose to give him a second chance. I couldn't help but question if he was being faithful, if his friendships were more than friendly and so on. I had so many doubts and insecurities that it knocked my self - esteem and confidence. Our relationship didn't improve and I couldn't help but feel so relieved when he ghosted me for another girl. I couldn't find it in me to trust him again and that prevented me from allowing him to become someone close to my heart. 

Like you, he too was my first caregiver and he was someone I considered a true friend first and foremost. I held on to him for that reason, because I loved him so much. But unfortunately, you will encounter people who will abuse your trust and play with your feelings because they know regardless of what they do, they will get away with it. My concern is that he cheated on for you a year. Not a day, not even a few weeks, an entire year. I don't see any respect for your relationship and his excuse of 'I imagined it was you the whole time' isn't flattering at all. 

Edited April 19, 2020 by DemureBelle

[jaredstone363]

I'm really sorry this happened to you. I know how you feel, I caught my Little cheating on me. We were together for 3yrs and lived together. Only you can make the decision on what to do. I will tell you, it's not going to be an easy road, some days you will be ok, others you will be a mess. Just always remember that tomorrow is another day and you will get through it. I think in time, I'll forgive my Little for what she did, but I'd never be able to trust her again. I won't be with someone I can't trust, that's just me. There is only ONE THING in this world that no one can take from you, that is your word/honor/integrity.

[Hinatits]

As much as it hurts, you need ACTUAL confirmation that he won't do it again.

 

Like, personally, I'd dump someone who did that to me... But if you want to stay with him. You both need to sit down and discuss issues and what you BOTH can do to prevent this from happening again.

 

Arguments in a relationship are normal. When they are constant, however, it's best to actually talk things out and see how to improve/ if you need a break/ need to go your own way.

 

Pls, for your mental health and clarity, I recommend as much COMMUNICATION as possible (even if neither would want to talk about it).

 

This mainly portains to issues regarding both of you. If it's too personal, you dontneed to share EVERY little detail, just practice on being a bit more open with one another...

 

Communication is key, imo.

 

I wish the best for you, hun. (｡･n･｡)ﾉ♡

[brattylilbat99]

As someone who has been through something very similar, here is my advice to you:

 

Don't let the fear of being alone be the deciding factor to stay with him. If that's the only reason you are wanting to stay with him, you're staying with him for the wrong reasons. Whoever ultimately ends up being your partner is bound to hurt you. It's just part of being human- we fuck up and sometimes hurt the people we love the most. Be with someone who is more than just those occasional bad days. Be with someone who makes you smile more than they make you cry, and who makes you laugh more than argue.

 

I like that you both have agreed to put some distance in the relationship. You need time to recover because this probably came as a huge blow to you emotionally. I also think it is good because you need time to see if he is going to act on everything he has promised you. As convenient as it would be if we could magically fix all of the problems that come up in a relationship, we unfortunately can't do it. If someone wants to change, it's their choice to do so. You can help and encourage him all you want, but ultimately it will be on him to change. So if you do decide to stay together, give yourself time to really gauge if he is changing.

 

I also want to leave this here too, though. It was from a quote that I remember reading years ago, but don't remember it word for word:

If it ever comes down to where they have to make a choice between you or someone else, remove yourself as an option. If he really loved you, you would not be one of his choices. You would not be choice A, B, or C. You would be the only one. A choice would never have to be made. You deserve to be with someone who would never have to choose, because it would only ever be just you.

I just went through this yesterday.. i can’t thank you enough for sharing this..