need relationship help !!

[Guest loociex]

hia !!

i wont waste time and get right into it : 

recently, my daddy has broken my trust by lying about certain issues that relate to the relationship both in and out of ddlg. it has caused a lot of pain and upset throughout the week but we have resolved the issue and decided that the relationship will continue. although, this break in trust has made it very, very hard for me to be happy in little space (with or without him present) and i find it hard to respond to him as a daddy, it just brings upset. we've talked about taking a break with ddlg, even though is pains him to step back from taking care of me. i know he loves me and has never done anything like this in our time together, i truly believe this is a one off mistake but i dont know how to heal as a little. i'm really distressed and confused, i keep regressing back and forth from big to little, when im in little space i'm upset and dont feel like doing what usually makes me happy. i usually just sit and watch cartoons, which would be fine but its more of a sad thing now, i dont feel like doing much else.

 

if you can help in any way i'd be so grateful, im desperate to be happy as a little and try get back to a place where he can be my cg again. 

if not, thank you so much for taking the time to read this  

[Dangerously_Well]

This might not be what you want to hear, sorry, and time is the only way.

 

Time will prove if this really was a one time thing and you regain his (almost) 100% trust back.

 

Or,

 

Time will prove that its a change in how you two are together and you need to revalue your relationship.

 

Or,

 

Time will prove that you need to move on.

 

Just make sure you care about you until time tells you which way to go...

[Vampiress]

This is kind of hard to give advice on without more context, but I totally respect your privacy and wouldn't ask you to elaborate. All I know for sure is that if it's something that really hurt you, that hurt isn't going to go away immediately. It is going to take you some time and since it happened recently you might just need to give yourself a little more time and not rush it. Whatever hurt was caused needs time to heal and time to build up that trust you had with him again. I think it's entirely normal to withdraw from him as a little if you were hurt by something he did, because as littles we can be super vulnerable and it's with our Caregiver that we give all that trust to and be our real selves with them in a way we can't with others because of judgment and misunderstanding. If he broke your trust even temporarily it is no surprise it's difficult to get into that vulnerable head space with him, and since you can't do that right now it makes sense that being in that head space alone also makes you very sad. The best you can do is let yourself take the time you need to heal and hopefully eventually forgive what has happened so that you can move on from it. Give him time to prove to you that this won't happen again and that you are safe with him. So long as he can prove that and you're open to forgiving and moving on from it then in time your joy in your littleness will return. If it helps, you can try making little friends here and see if interacting with other littles and taking part in little activities with them helps you feel a little happier in your little headspace. There's lots of discord servers with various activities from coloring pages, different games you can play together with other littles, watching movies or cartoons via live streaming, etc. I really wish you the best of luck and hope that you and your Daddy can mend this so that you can get back to a happier and hopefully stronger place together.

 

Edit: Dangerously_Well does have some good points about this potentially not being the only time it happens if you want to be super realistic and honest with yourself, but I tried focusing on advice on how to move forward and get back into your littleness in a happier state again since that is the kind of advice you asked for. It would be advisable to remain honest with yourself and make sure you keep an eye out for red flags and be careful, and time could definitely reveal other things to you about this relationship and how good it is for you or not.

Edited April 15, 2020 by Batgirl

[Guest loociex]

This is kind of hard to give advice on without more context, but I totally respect your privacy and wouldn't ask you to elaborate. All I know for sure is that if it's something that really hurt you, that hurt isn't going to go away immediately. It is going to take you some time and since it happened recently you might just need to give yourself a little more time and not rush it. Whatever hurt was caused needs time to heal and time to build up that trust you had with him again. I think it's entirely normal to withdraw from him as a little if you were hurt by something he did, because as littles we can be super vulnerable and it's with our Caregiver that we give all that trust to and be our real selves with them in a way we can't with others because of judgment and misunderstanding. If he broke your trust even temporarily it is no surprise it's difficult to get into that vulnerable head space with him, and since you can't do that right now it makes sense that being in that head space alone also makes you very sad. The best you can do is let yourself take the time you need to heal and hopefully eventually forgive what has happened so that you can move on from it. Give him time to prove to you that this won't happen again and that you are safe with him. So long as he can prove that and you're open to forgiving and moving on from it then in time your joy in your littleness will return. If it helps, you can try making little friends here and see if interacting with other littles and taking part in little activities with them helps you feel a little happier in your little headspace. There's lots of discord servers with various activities from coloring pages, different games you can play together with other littles, watching movies or cartoons via live streaming, etc. I really wish you the best of luck and hope that you and your Daddy can mend this so that you can get back to a happier and hopefully stronger place together.

 

Edit: Dangerously_Well does have some good points about this potentially not being the only time it happens if you want to be super realistic and honest with yourself, but I tried focusing on advice on how to move forward and get back into your littleness in a happier state again since that is the kind of advice you asked for. It would be advisable to remain honest with yourself and make sure you keep an eye out for red flags and be careful, and time could definitely reveal other things to you about this relationship and how good it is for you or not.

 

This might not be what you want to hear, sorry, and time is the only way.

 

Time will prove if this really was a one time thing and you regain his (almost) 100% trust back.

 

Or,

 

Time will prove that its a change in how you two are together and you need to revalue your relationship.

 

Or,

 

Time will prove that you need to move on.

 

Just make sure you care about you until time tells you which way to go...

 

 

thank you so much for taking the time to give such detailed replies, it means a lot. i think i knew deep down that i needed to take time to myself but hearing it from someone else clarifies the situation, i'll definitely try some little activities with others on here and explore that route more. personally, i don't believe he was intentionally trying to hurt the relationship and this is quite out of character for him but i'll keep an eye out for red flags. 

[Vampiress]

You're very welcome, and that's fair. Sometimes it does take other opinions to put things into perspective especially if you feel so uncertain. The kind thing to do for yourself is to take the time to properly heal instead of rushing it and not giving yourself that proper resolution. Plus it gives him the chance to repair this and it might take him a little time too, especially if he feels awful about what happened then he needs to time sort this out and eventually forgive himself. I hope that in the meantime trying to connect with other littles helps you and that everything turns out for the better between you and your Daddy. This definitely doesn't have to be defeat for the both of you, with some work and time you can grow stronger and even better.

[Alaskan Daddy]

My experience with some little's is that it is hard to get into little space after trust has been broken. I feel it is because 'little you' has a wall put up in her heart to protect herself from the hurt. Little space should be a place of happiness and safety. Even though on an adult level you have worked things out with your daddy, little you is still hurting and is trying to process the pain and heart ache and she is not at a point that 'little you' is ready to go to her happy and safe place. 

I feel that their is a lot of pain inside of you because of the broken trust and you need a healthy way to express that pain to your daddy so it can be released and you can start to mend fully.  The mending of that trust may take some time before the walls come down and your little self can come out again.

My advice to you is not hold in the pain you feel inside. Talk to your daddy and let him know your deepest feelings you have because of the broken trust. If you can do that and he will listen your relationship can actually become stronger.

I hope this helps a little and good luck