I am feeling hopeless

[Cabbitgurl]

I'm a little whose license says she's 36 and recently lost my papa. He became super abusive. Now I feel lost, like I'll never find another one again. I mean I'd like a mama or caregiver, but I'm also asexual and I can't help it and wish I wasn't but nothing works. I'm able to do some sexual stuff, just not all the time. Sometimes, I just don't feel it, and nothing will put me in the mood and I cant help it. To make matters worse I'm transgender, again I cant help it, I wasn't born a cis girl. I'm sorry, I wasn't given a choice in the matter.

 

I live in the United states, and even if this Covid 19 thing clears up I have no hope for the future. I want to believe, I want hope, but I wasted almost 7 years with the aforementioned papa... I feel like I'll just have to cover up my littleness if I ever want to have someone who will care about me and someone for me to care about too.

I'm sorry to unload all this, but I needed to say it.

I'm just a 6 year old little without a momma, or a parent and it hurts...

Edited May 5, 2020 by Cabbitgurl

[Little kaiya]

Perspective is really important and deciding not to give up hope is also really important.

 

Reading your post I see a number of similarities between what you're going through and my past experiences.

 

I only found my Daddy when I was 39 but he was worth every second of waiting. I'm also pansexual and genderfluid, not the simplest thing for a partner to deal with but it is who I am and I'm not ashamed of it nor would I change it if I could.

 

I refused to change or hide who I am and as a result I have a Wife of almost 14 years, a Daddy of 2 and a half years and we are planning our commitment ceremony which will be officiated by my Wife.

 

Life may look dark but age, sexuality and gender really have very little to do with finding a partner unless you let them hinder that search. Take some time to grieve the relationship,heal yourself and find happiness and contentment with who you are. Then go out and enjoy life and take opportunities and adventures as they come. I never went looking for my Daddy and He never went looking for a little. Life often has ways of surprising us once we heal ourselves enough to be ready.

 

Good luck and remember, choosing to give up is the only decision that guarantees you wont find what you're looking for eventually. Stay strong and keep striving for what you want in your life and you can find it.

Edited April 14, 2020 by Little kaiya

[PrincessEmily]

Dear you,

 

Hopelessness is the result of being let down, and a good psicologist can help you overcome those feelings. It is completely normal to feel hopeless but that doesnt mean there is no hope for you. Ive been let down in other ways by other people and I can relate with that feeling a lot, but its important that you work with that feeling and understand where it came from, also you are doing the best thing you can do by putting words to it, keep expressing yourself but dont forget to understand the root of your hopelessness and work through it, since its something that can really stop you, because who would keep trying with all they've got if they feel its not going to work, right? Good luck <3

[Cabbitgurl]

Thank you all, I'm sorry to unload on you but I GREATLY appreciate your input. I just... I really am sad and you're right, I should get over grieving. I have a psychiatrist and a therapist and they are working with me to help my many issues. I am so grateful for all your words, thank you so much!

[Vampiress]

I am so sorry that you went through all of that abuse. I am glad you have therapy to help you through these issues, it's very good and brave of you to work on these things instead of just trying to cope on your own.

 

I know you may feel like the odds are against you, but we are living in a different time now where people are much more accepting of and aware of things like asexuality and being transgender. It may take some patience but when you are more healed and ready don't be afraid to give yourself the chance to find someone. There will be Caregivers out there who are totally accepting of you as you are and they will cherish you as a person. I just want you to be careful and avoid the predators because you've already been through hell and this community does have some people who really can't be trusted or have the wrong intentions. If you see any red flags just run and don't look back. Don't let yourself think this is all you're going to get or find and that you have to settle. You don't have to settle, no one has to settle! You are worthy and deserving of good things, so please reject anything that would be harmful to you even if they try to tempt you with some of the things you want, it isn't worth the hurt. It's so much better to wait for the right person.

[Cabbitgurl]

I'm so new to this scene, I've been afraid to join any groups because I was on fetlife and this dude kept asking me to do things that I really wasn't comfortable with. I just... am so scared. I'm afraid to even admit I'm a little because people call me terrible names for it... it's such an misunderstood thing. *sigh* I just... thanks, I just am in a hard place right now...

I don't go telling strangers, these were friends I had confided in because they said "nothing you say can make us hate you" you know the type

 

I ... also live in Seattle and am afraid that there might not be a place for me there that exists

Edited April 15, 2020 by Cabbitgurl

[Vampiress]

Yeah there are going to be a lot of predators especially in bdsm and ddlg because submissive/littles are seen as being vulnerable and so we just have to look out for ourselves and be firm, never give in to the demands of someone who doesn't care about your boundaries.

 

I'm sorry your "friends" behaved that way. It is sad that most people don't understand this lifestyle but I also understand why they don't. I used to be the type that was very skeptical before I took the time to learn because it looked wrong from the outside. People really have to have an open mind and be open to learning what it's really about to change their mind.

 

I live near Seattle and honestly Seattle is a SUPER liberal city, a lot more than most other cities. There's going to be people who disagree with your lifestyle no matter where you go, but I know there are lots of Caregivers and littles in the Pacific Northwest. Most of us just don't outwardly show that because of the judgments.

[Cabbitgurl]

Yeah there are going to be a lot of predators especially in bdsm and ddlg because submissive/littles are seen as being vulnerable and so we just have to look out for ourselves and be firm, never give in to the demands of someone who doesn't care about your boundaries.

 

I'm sorry your "friends" behaved that way. It is sad that most people don't understand this lifestyle but I also understand why they don't. I used to be the type that was very skeptical before I took the time to learn because it looked wrong from the outside. People really have to have an open mind and be open to learning what it's really about to change their mind.

 

I live near Seattle and honestly Seattle is a SUPER liberal city, a lot more than most other cities. There's going to be people who disagree with your lifestyle no matter where you go, but I know there are lots of Caregivers and littles in the Pacific Northwest. Most of us just don't outwardly show that because of the judgments.

Not to bug you but... could you point me to some sources? I just cant find anything and I'm scared...

[Vampiress]

Not to bug you but... could you point me to some sources? I just cant find anything and I'm scared...

 

I have not done any DDlg community stuff around the area but a quick google search brought up this Age Play munch in Seattle that you'll have to wait until covid-19 stuff is over to attend, but if you don't mind going somewhere and meeting people in person this might be a good start. You can check it out here. (SFW) Otherwise, if you take a little time to look you'll find some people in the area on this site. You can also try https://www.littlespaceonline.com/ or https://www.ddlgfriends.com/ (not sure if those two are SFW or not) -- umm maybe Fetlife (nsfw)? Any website that'll allow DD/lg topics or is focused specifically on it you'll be able to seek out people nearby.

[Cabbitgurl]

I have not done any DDlg community stuff around the area but a quick google search brought up this Age Play munch in Seattle that you'll have to wait until covid-19 stuff is over to attend, but if you don't mind going somewhere and meeting people in person this might be a good start. You can check it out here. (SFW) Otherwise, if you take a little time to look you'll find some people in the area on this site. You can also try https://www.littlespaceonline.com/ or https://www.ddlgfriends.com/ (not sure if those two are SFW or not) -- umm maybe Fetlife (nsfw)? Any website that'll allow DD/lg topics or is focused specifically on it you'll be able to seek out people nearby.

Thank you so much!!!!!!!!