please help...

[summerspring23]

my bf and I have been dating for almost two and a half years now and we've pretty much been participating in ddlg since the beginning. but recently he told me that he was starting to like me calling him "daddy" less and less... and that he was never really ok with it to begin with... and that he "lowkey feels like a predator"...  ive only really been able to sink into little space every once in a blue moon for the past six months... ive never done any ddlg activities on my own since he was the first person ive ever done this with... ive been crying myself to sleep the past few nights because this is hitting me so hard but i feel like im overreacting and i cant change anything... please help me...

Edited April 11, 2020 by summerspring23

[Alaskan Daddy]

First you are not overreacting, those are your REAL feelings. You want him to be your daddy so bad. Being little is a part of who you are. At the same time your BF is being honest with you about his feelings. His feelings matter just as much as yours do. Maybe inside he is not a daddy and was only doing the role to please you and make you feel good. It sounds like he tried and found out it does not work for him. That does not make him a bad BF. I think he really cares about you very much.

I really don't think you can change the feelings of your BF anymore than he can change your feelings about your DDLG needs and desires. There maybe ways he can make you feel little without being called daddy, just by giving you the special care you want.

Only you can decide if he is able to do that for you. I wish I had a magical solution that gave you the desires you want and need. I would try to talk with your BF and try to help him understand the needs you want from him that makes both of you feel comfortable.

I hope this helps

Good luck

[Vampiress]

I don't blame you at all for feeling upset. He should've been honest from the beginning about his feelings or said something sooner. The problem here is he set a precedent, he set expectations, and for 2 1/2 years he let you believe something, want something, and enjoy something with him and then he finally tells you he doesn't like it. Why did he wait so long? He could've at least told you going into it that he wasn't sure if he'd like it and that he'd try it, and then be open the moment he decided it really wasn't for him. You have every right to feel upset. I know it feels like a huge loss and probably like you've been led on in certain aspects of your relationship. You'll definitely need to talk to him more and find out where your relationship is going, and be very clear with him that you need him to be honest from the start instead of putting it off for so long. You might also have to decide for yourself if you can be in a relationship with someone who isn't into DD/lg. For some it's a dealbreaker if DD/lg is non-existent in the relationship, but for others they care about the person more and will look past their difference in preferences. Neither is a wrong or right answer, it's only right if it's what you really want and wrong if you make a choice based on what others tell you or what someone else wants against your own needs. Good luck!

Edited July 8, 2020 by Batgirl

[Somewhatdiscreet]

my bf and I have been dating for almost two and a half years now and we've pretty much been participating in ddlg since the beginning. but recently he told me that he was starting to like me calling him "daddy" less and less... and that he was never really ok with it to begin with... and that he "lowkey feels like a predator"...  ive only really been able to sink into little space every once in a blue moon... ive never done any ddlg activities on my own since he was the first person ive ever done this with... ive been crying myself to sleep the past few nights because this is hitting me so hard but i feel like im overreacting and i cant change anything... please help me...

Maybe I'm misinterpreting this, but this sounds like he doesn't want you to call him daddy anymore because it's too much of an ick factor for him rather than he wants to cease all ddlg activities that you've been doing in general - which is absolutely within his rights. DDLG flirts with a lot of very taboo social topics and it at least sounds like it's just this specifically that's pushing him a bit over the edge and it's not for everyone.

 

I may be wrong, but have you clarified what in specific he doesn't like? If you called him something else, would that ease his mind?

[Lillykins]

I'm really sorry you are going through this. For me at least, I definitely have adult parts that enjoy the adult parts of relationships, but when the little isn't allowed to come out and isn't taken care of, a part of me remains always shunted to the side and that hurts. But I also see that in this dynamic, being the little feels "easier" - we don't have to contend as much with the societal ick-factor, with the fear of what that might say about you. Sure, to some degree, I wouldn't tell my friends about this say, but in the end what people would think is that I'm probably a little psychologically fragile and off - but the daddy is the predator taking advantage of it. There is very little understanding of the motivation to be a daddy in the broader world. 

 

Maybe you could encourage him to try to understand what this means to you, how it makes you feel when you call him daddy. He could read a book about it and kind of find a way to normalize it in his head. But if in the end, he still feels like a predator, that doesn't speak badly for him, really. It might just mean that he just isn't a daddy.

[summerspring23]

Maybe I'm misinterpreting this, but this sounds like he doesn't want you to call him daddy anymore because it's too much of an ick factor for him rather than he wants to cease all ddlg activities that you've been doing in general - which is absolutely within his rights. DDLG flirts with a lot of very taboo social topics and it at least sounds like it's just this specifically that's pushing him a bit over the edge and it's not for everyone.

 

I may be wrong, but have you clarified what in specific he doesn't like? If you called him something else, would that ease his mind?

he told me that it's feeling less like a role and more like a lifestyle and he wasn't comfortable with that... and that he wasnt fully comfortable with it from the beginning. he said that he wants to have a child with me, not have me be the child... he never told me because he was afraid of hurting me but i really wish he just told me from the start... im really messed up about this but im not exactly sure why... idk if im mad at him or myself, idk if i can even be with him anymore but we were planning on getting married... i dont want to just give up on him but i still want to be a little...

Edited April 11, 2020 by summerspring23