I really need help please...

[Guest Snowylittle]

Hello I'm a little and I've been in a relationship with my daddy for a year now. He takes really good care of me and I really love him. But there are some things that make me feel bad.we are in a long distance relationship and he doesn't like to call... He records voice messages for me and I love them but I'm wondering if it's my fault And he doesn't like to send me pictures of him. I know I have to accept that but I just can't help feeling like it's somehow my fault and he watches other women a lot.. he said he doesn't feel anything while doing that and he only loves me and it has nothing to do with me but it makes me feel so jealous and sad. He also doesn't like to do sexual things with me because he says he's always seeing me as a little and it's weird for him then. I don't like to do stuff like that in little space either but I'm big sometimes but he always says he doesn't want to.. I feel like I'm doing something wrong he wants to meet me soon and we really talk a lot everyday. I know he likes me because I have a lot of problems but he didn't get tired of helping me until now and is always gentle and loving. I don't want anyone to think something bad about him now because he's literally the nicest person and the best daddy I could wish for. It's just that these things make me insecure and sad... Please give me some advice? And I'm sorry again for my bad English

[JustALittlePrincess]

Hmm I think maybe you need to show him this post, since it was written from the heart and show's what you are feeling.

[Plasticpwincess]

I agree, you need to tell him. Be big and tell him exactly how you feel. You can't get to the same desination when you're both on different trains <3
It's okay to not want the same things and it's okay to walk away when something is not what you want. 

[RavenclawPrincess]

It sounds to me like he wants this to be a platonic partnership and has limits that don’t line up with yours currently. I agree with everyone else that’s chimed in, a conversation is in order so you two can get on the same page. Communicating and reaching agreements on things in a partnership is essential for successful relationships. I like the suggestion that you show him your post! You already took the time to write out your feelings so why not use that to help?

[LittleTeacup]

Maybe he's actually ashamed of his body for some reason? Or has some kind of anxiety? It's really important to talk about this with him because it's upsetting you so much and he probably doesn't realize.

[BabyGirl’sBig]

Hi,

 

Let me start by saying that I'm new, registered as of today .. and I'm very new to the DDlg community over all.

I hope responding to this is appropriate and ok ... I wasn't going to respond .. I'm still getting used to the forum to being with. I wasn't quite ready to get into a discussion on here yet .. but .. I read your initial post, and couldn't just keep scrolling.

Your original post was definitely spoken from the heart. It also touched me quite deeply.

As I said, I'm new to DDlg .. but my understanding, and quite honestly part of the reason that I related to it so quickly and so thoroughly .. the entire community is based on, and relies heavily on trust, respect, and communication.

Honestly, as much as this hurts to say, and I don't doubt that it's even harder to hear .. based on your post, I don't think you have any of the three. I'm sorry, I understand that this is one side of the story, and there are always three sides.

You are hurting, that is very obvious.

As a Daddy, I believe it would be Daddy's responsibility to be there to comfort and help you through such times .. definitely not be the cause of it.

There were so many redflags that jumped out at me as I read ... things that I have actually been on the receiving end of within a past long distance relationship.

 

I agree that you should show him your post. It will definitely resonate with him . or I would really hope it would anyway. Before that, I would strongly suggest getting mentally prepared for any of the possible outcomes .. including the ending of this relationship.

 

It is very possible that his position and accepting of this type of relationship has changed. It was exciting at the beginning, but he has realized it's just not what he needs. This does not reflect negatively on you .. it could just be that DDlg isn't for him. And that's ok .. what's not ok is the fact that he isn't being open and communicative with you in regards to this.

You deserve better .. you deserve someone who is going to be there for you. You deserve someone who takes your feelings seriously and will change his behaviour because of this (the pornography part). He needs to .. actually, both parties in any healthy relationship needs to feel part of the other's lives, and make sure that the other does feel like they are part of their life. I don't see this on his side in your post.

 

Every Daddy has the responsibility to ensure the happiness, security, and comfort of their Little.

Every Little has the responsibility to ensure the happiness of their Daddy.

BOTH Daddy and Little have the responsibility to be communicate openly and ensure there are not situations like this that will make one of the parties feel less than adequate. Both should always ensure that their partner ALWAYS feels appreciated, loved, and complete.

 

Again, like I said, I don't know if I'm speaking out of order here .. if I am, I apologize .. but, as a Daddy, his actions or lack-there-of really hurt me.

This is not on you!! This may not even be on him, to be honest. However, the lack of openness and communication does have to fall into his lap.

[Guest Snowylittle]

Maybe he's actually ashamed of his body for some reason? Or has some kind of anxiety? It's really important to talk about this with him because it's upsetting you so much and he probably doesn't realize.

I talked to him about it and he said there's nothing like that. He just wouldn't know what to say I told him that it doesn't matter because he doesn't even need to say anything. I just want to see him an feel closer to him. He said he's fine with meeting but I don't get it because I have social anxiety and meeting would be way harder for me than video chat once but he said he doesn't want to because he doesn't know what to say

[Guest Snowylittle]

Hi,

 

Let me start by saying that I'm new, registered as of today .. and I'm very new to the DDlg community over all.

I hope responding to this is appropriate and ok ... I wasn't going to respond .. I'm still getting used to the forum to being with. I wasn't quite ready to get into a discussion on here yet .. but .. I read your initial post, and couldn't just keep scrolling.

Your original post was definitely spoken from the heart. It also touched me quite deeply.

As I said, I'm new to DDlg .. but my understanding, and quite honestly part of the reason that I related to it so quickly and so thoroughly .. the entire community is based on, and relies heavily on trust, respect, and communication.

Honestly, as much as this hurts to say, and I don't doubt that it's even harder to hear .. based on your post, I don't think you have any of the three. I'm sorry, I understand that this is one side of the story, and there are always three sides.

You are hurting, that is very obvious.

As a Daddy, I believe it would be Daddy's responsibility to be there to comfort and help you through such times .. definitely not be the cause of it.

There were so many redflags that jumped out at me as I read ... things that I have actually been on the receiving end of within a past long distance relationship.

 

I agree that you should show him your post. It will definitely resonate with him . or I would really hope it would anyway. Before that, I would strongly suggest getting mentally prepared for any of the possible outcomes .. including the ending of this relationship.

 

It is very possible that his position and accepting of this type of relationship has changed. It was exciting at the beginning, but he has realized it's just not what he needs. This does not reflect negatively on you .. it could just be that DDlg isn't for him. And that's ok .. what's not ok is the fact that he isn't being open and communicative with you in regards to this.

You deserve better .. you deserve someone who is going to be there for you. You deserve someone who takes your feelings seriously and will change his behaviour because of this (the pornography part). He needs to .. actually, both parties in any healthy relationship needs to feel part of the other's lives, and make sure that the other does feel like they are part of their life. I don't see this on his side in your post.

 

Every Daddy has the responsibility to ensure the happiness, security, and comfort of their Little.

Every Little has the responsibility to ensure the happiness of their Daddy.

BOTH Daddy and Little have the responsibility to be communicate openly and ensure there are not situations like this that will make one of the parties feel less than adequate. Both should always ensure that their partner ALWAYS feels appreciated, loved, and complete.

 

Again, like I said, I don't know if I'm speaking out of order here .. if I am, I apologize .. but, as a Daddy, his actions or lack-there-of really hurt me.

This is not on you!! This may not even be on him, to be honest. However, the lack of openness and communication does have to fall into his lap.

Tankyou for answering. I talked to him about everything more than once already but he just always says watching porn isn't important for him and he doesn't care about it. But he doesn't want to give it up for me. I tried to understand him I really did and I wouldn't be mad if he'd say it's hard for him to give up because he's addicted to it or anything. I'd try to help him or idk. But him acting as if it's nothing even though it makes me want to die really hurts me a lot. I've been crying for days now and I can't get it out of my head now matter how hard I try. But other than that he really is the most perfect daddy anyone could want. He always listens to me plays with me, says he loves me and he's spending every free minute with me. I really love him so much so breaking up would really make me want to die even more. I've been close to killing myself for years now and he helped me so so much but I know I couldn't live without him anymore. But I can't really tell him that what he does makes me want to die because then he'll feel as if I'm forcing him to stay with me and I don't want that I want him to be happy and I just want him to understand that it hurts me so much but Everytime I talk to him about it he just says that porn doesn't mean anything to him and it's not important. But really other than that he is perfect. And I love him and I don't want to hurt him either

[Guest Snowylittle]

I agree, you need to tell him. Be big and tell him exactly how you feel. You can't get to the same desination when you're both on different trains <3

 

Thankyou for answering and giving me advice <3

It's okay to not want the same things and it's okay to walk away when something is not what you want.

[Guest Snowylittle]

Hmm I think maybe you need to show him this post, since it was written from the heart and show's what you are feeling.

Thankyou so much for answering <3

[Guest Snowylittle]

It sounds to me like he wants this to be a platonic partnership and has limits that don’t line up with yours currently. I agree with everyone else that’s chimed in, a conversation is in order so you two can get on the same page. Communicating and reaching agreements on things in a partnership is essential for successful relationships. I like the suggestion that you show him your post! You already took the time to write out your feelings so why not use that to help?

Thankyou for taking your time and answering! He said he only loves me and wants to live with me soon and that he wants to do sexual stuff later when we meet. So I don't think he wants a platonic relationship..

[Guest Philix]

Grab your favourite teddy before you read this, because its gonna be very honest.

 

"he doesn't like to call... He records voice messages for me"

 

Hes doing this because he has someone at home girlfriend, fiance, wife that he cant take the calls in-front of.

 

"he doesn't like to send me pictures of him."

 

Because he does not want to get caught.

 

"he watches other women a lot.."

 

So you know what kind of man he is, that wont ever change still want him? 

 

"he likes to watch porn and that makes me really insecure about myself."

 

Again not going to change still want him?

 

"he said he doesn't feel anything while doing that and he only loves me" 

 

I'm sure hes telling this to everyone who's hitting up his phone.

 

"We did sexual stuff in the beginning as well but then he started to stop doing it with me." + "I don't send him nude pics or videos anymore because he said he doesn't want to do sexual stuff with me"

 

Found someone else.

 

"I know he's not cheating since he wouldn't even have time to because we're really texting like all the time."

 

While he sits across the settee from his partner saying its OK babe its just work.

 

"He said in the beginning he doesn't use Instagram" + "I hate to admit it but I started to look for an account"

 

You don't trust him you cant have a relationship without trust.

 

"So I asked him if it is his account and he immediately said yes."

 

Fine with lying to you before that tho.

 

"I am already really insecure about myself"

 

I believe you you would have moved on already if this was not the case.

 

"I just can't imagine that he'd string me along for more than a year."

 

This guy will string you along until you put an end to it theirs no time limit.

 

"I don't really have anything good to offer"

 

That is nonsense and we both know it.

 

"I just love him so so much that it physically hurts me to think about breaking up with him."

 

Your really not with him.

 

"I cried so many times for the last few weeks and I just feel so sad and broken" + "I've been crying for days now"

 

Remember this when you get to the bottom of the post.

 

"watching porn isn't important for him and he doesn't care about it."

 

But when the choice was you or porn he chooses porn so whats your actual value to him?

 

"other than that he really is the most perfect daddy anyone could want."

 

Other than literally all the things wrong with him hes OK?

 

 

 

Here is what you do now.

 

 

Realise that you knew this relationship was a dead end before you made your post.

 

Decide if you want to keep this guy as a friend or not personally I would he has been supportive and I'm not about burning bridges, but at the same time understand that from this point on hes just a friend.

 

Understand that dependant, insecure, fear of abandonment aren't things good daddy's go looking for if you come across this way the only people who will show interest are the people you really don't want. With that in mind find ways to be happy, calm, balanced without a partner so when you find a good daddy he can see you at your best.

 

Make a post here in personals and one on Fetlife because there are so many single daddy's looking for a little right now its crazy they are all at home due to lock-down sitting at the PC reading personals looking for there little and that could be you!

 

Make a post in the friends section here because it will do you good to have people to talk to that are not him.

 

Shouts out to 

 

Batgirl

[Guest Snowylittle]

Thankyou everyone for answering. We just broke up. I just want to sleep forever now thankyou for being supportive and trying to help me. It really means a lot to me

[BabyGirl’sBig]

Thankyou everyone for answering. We just broke up. I just want to sleep forever now thankyou for being supportive and trying to help me. It really means a lot to me

 

 

Snowylittle, my heart goes out to you!!

This is never easy, I know. I know these words mean nothing to you now, but I promise .. things do get better, time will help heal you.

You have many people on here, Big and Little, that are always willing to help, listen to you, and give you arms to curl up in and be protected.

It will get easier ..

{{{BIG hugs}}}

[Guest Snowylittle]

Snowylittle, my heart goes out to you!!

This is never easy, I know. I know these words mean nothing to you now, but I promise .. things do get better, time will help heal you.

You have many people on here, Big and Little, that are always willing to help, listen to you, and give you arms to curl up in and be protected.

It will get easier ..

{{{BIG hugs}}}

Thankyou so much for caring

[LittleTeacup]

I'm sorry that I didn't reply.. I just felt so bad. I still feel like dying. As I said we broke up but stayed friends and now he's following all the porn pages again he used to follow. I can't stop checking on his social media even though I really want to. We're still friends and he behaves exactly the same like before. He reads bedtime stories for me and he still says he'd give me kisses and hug me and cuddle with me. And he does everything the same way. He even said he doesn't want anyone else just me. I'm okay if we don't meet soon I'm okay if he doesn't want to call or video chat. But him looking at other women all the time hurts me so bad. I can't do anything anymore. I can't look at any girl because I think that he'd look at her and like her body more than mine. I can't even play video games anymore or watch Anime because everything reminds me of him watching porn.. I regret meeting him even though I love him so much but the pain doesn't stop. Everyone is always saying it'll get better but for now it only got worse and I'm really close to just giving up. I want him to love me and only me. I don't understand how he can say he loves me but isn't willing to even talk about stopping to watch porn. I'd literally die for him. I tried my best to be good for him and I wanted to make him happy but I feel like he doesn't care about me that much even though he talks to me all the time. I just found out as well that he doesn't go to sleep when he says he does. Instead he plays games and watches porn. But when I ask him he says he always goes to bed with me because he's tired from work. I don't trust him anymore and I guess it doesn't matter because we're not together anymore. But I love him so much. I can't stop loving him. I didn't want to be in a relationship but I thought maybe he'd be the one. But instead he took my heart and I can't take it back anymore and it hurts so bad and makes me want to die everyday. I don't know what to do anymore. It hurts all the time. I can't do anything else anymore.. I really want to die. I love him so much

 

Hey, have you considered seeing a professional about this? Or at least have you talked about these feelings with someone you trust like a family member or close friend? We can help give you advice here, but we can't comfort and give you the same kind of support someone who knows you in person can. You can't control what your ex does, unfortunately. Heartbreak is a difficult feeling that can last a while, but when you're so depressed you want to die because of it, that's when you need additional help. You can love him, but still you gotta love yourself too and do what's best for you. After all, what kind of love brings so much pain?