Is non-sexual DDlg still considered a kink?

[little1grl]

I like being a little for non-sexual reasons. DDlg stuff doesn't turn me on at all (though other kinks do). I wonder if DDlg that is non-sexual-  is it still classified as kinky? I read an article that suggested that non-sexual DDlg stuff wasn't considered kinky at all... I always classified it as kinky though...

So I was just wondering...

[zanderandspike]

I've always just thought of it as more like kink lifestyle, sense a kink is something that helps you get off, it's not a kink, but the life style has a Dom/sub undertone which makes it's kink lifestyle. That's just how I view it though, idk about any one else. 

 

~Drea

[daddymind]

I wouldn't see it as kinky if it's non-sexual.

[SmolAetherr]

it depends do YOU consider it a kink, to some a kink is a non-sexual thing that brings you great pleasure and a fetish is a sexual thing that brings you great pleasure, to some ddlg can be both

 

 

we all intepret kinks/fetishes differently so the best thing i can say is what is your intepretation?

[Guest NonServiam]

Platonic spanking is considered kink.  Financial and domestic servitude are considered kink.  I don't see why platonic DDLG wouldn't be too.

[little1grl]

Hey not that I don't want sexual stuff in my relationship... its just that DDlg stuff doesn't turn me on. I like being a little for the psychological reasons, and for the power exchange. I have other kinks that are sexual though.

I guess I do consider it a kink, or a kink lifestyle because of the dominance, submission part. I was just curious what others think.

[Guest NonServiam]

I get your perspective on that, too.  My Little and I are quite interested in more intimate things, but not within Little space.  I'm not knocking people who do, but it's not our thing either.

[Alaskan Daddy]

As a daddy that has had both sexual and non-sexual DDLG relationships I have never considered any of those relationships as 'kinky'. Maybe in the eyes of some people it would be considered 'kinky'. In a the sexual DDLG relationships the care I gave was both emotional and physical. In the non-sexual DDLG relationships I have had the care was purely emotional. But in both types of those relationships the love behind the care was always the same. My point is that every relationship is different no matter if it is a 'DDLG' or 'vanilla'. It is who we are as care-givers and littles, and how we feel in our hearts and as long as it is based on respect and love of each other then I would never see it as kinky. But each of us has out own definition of what is kinky. I hope this makes sense.

[princessfreckles]

In my opinion based on what I've been told by kink knowledgeable people, DDlg falls under the D/s in BDSM. So despite it not necessarily being sexual, I would still consider it a kink. There are plenty of things that are considered kinky that don't always involve sexual contact.

 

Off the top of my head:

Needles (I have friends who like making cool designs on skin with needles, and there isn't anything that is sexual. The needle top likes making art. The needle bottom likes being a work of art and being poked.)

Wax (I've been told the heat and pain is cathartic)

Body painting (literally getting skin safe paint and some brushes to paint on a person)

Rope (some people fully clothed find it soothing to be bound in rope for a bit)

Wrestling (get out aggression and stress).

 

Could the few examples I just listed be sexual? Sure, but it can also be nonsexual. The cool thing about DDlg and kink as a whole is it's what you make it. You can explore and figure out what you like and don't like. There can be sex if you want there to be sex. However, if you're a non sexual little (and that's pretty common), that's cool too. Enjoy exploring your fun little side along with your other non vanilla interests. 

[little1grl]

I am a sexual person, but being a little doesn't turn me on. I'm not really sure at this point about how I feel about doing sexual things in little space. Not sure if I want to or not. I feel like I'd have to try it to see if its for me.

I'm also asexual, but I consider myself sex-favorable, because I do have sexual kinks that do turn me on. But people just don't turn me on. But I would definitely want a relationship that was sexual... I just am not sure if I want to mix being in little space in with that. (I may not mind it, in which case it'd be ok as long as my sexual kinks were present).

[LittleTeacup]

Honestly I think it could be both, depending on individual factors. If the caregiving is needed for the little's mental or physical health, then no. For example, if a little has a disease and needs help bathing or dressing, or something else that would make it really difficult to manage on their own. I have ASD and would like a caregiver to help me stay centered, help remind me to practice hygiene, etc. My parents help me with stuff now and obviously that's not a kink.

 

But it could easily still be a kink too. I like to kneel on the floor against favored people's legs. I've done it quite unconsciously with some of my friends and once a roommate I had a crush on several years ago. It's a way for me to feel close to the person without needing to engage them in conversation. Also that same roommate had a fun time hand-feeding me berries. She didn't even need to ask - all it took was her reaching out her hand to me with berries in it and I'd lean over in bliss. Once, embarrassingly, in front of a stranger because I completely forgot my surroundings in that instant. I liked her, but I'm kinda asexual too (demi probably since I've been sexually attracted to just 1 person) and didn't think about having sex with her. But those are definitely kinks - I can't explain it otherwise.

 

I guess if you're little by yourself it's not kinky, especially if it's just part of your personality, or if you just want a caregiver to help you with stuff you need to do or cuddle sweetly. But if you want to do stuff like kneeling at their feet or being hand fed (without it being medical necessity) or being walked on a leash or anything like that yeah it's a kink. I hope I explained my thoughts well enough.

[little1grl]

Honestly I think it could be both, depending on individual factors. If the caregiving is needed for the little's mental or physical health, then no. For example, if a little has a disease and needs help bathing or dressing, or something else that would make it really difficult to manage on their own. I have ASD and would like a caregiver to help me stay centered, help remind me to practice hygiene, etc. My parents help me with stuff now and obviously that's not a kink.

 

But it could easily still be a kink too. I like to kneel on the floor against favored people's legs. I've done it quite unconsciously with some of my friends and once a roommate I had a crush on several years ago. It's a way for me to feel close to the person without needing to engage them in conversation. Also that same roommate had a fun time hand-feeding me berries. She didn't even need to ask - all it took was her reaching out her hand to me with berries in it and I'd lean over in bliss. Once, embarrassingly, in front of a stranger because I completely forgot my surroundings in that instant. I liked her, but I'm kinda asexual too (demi probably since I've been sexually attracted to just 1 person) and didn't think about having sex with her. But those are definitely kinks - I can't explain it otherwise.

 

I guess if you're little by yourself it's not kinky, especially if it's just part of your personality, or if you just want a caregiver to help you with stuff you need to do or cuddle sweetly. But if you want to do stuff like kneeling at their feet or being hand fed (without it being medical necessity) or being walked on a leash or anything like that yeah it's a kink. I hope I explained my thoughts well enough.

 

Interesting take. By your definition it’s both to me. I like the power structure of DDLG it appeals to me and I feel like I can fall in love more easily in that type of relationship. I also like being submissive and when I’m submissive to someone dominant I get into little space for some reason. That’s just me. But I also have ADD and want help with things like cleaning (chores) that are difficult for me. And other things like that. I’m also finding it relaxing and soothing to go into little space on my own but I do find that harder to do.

[carmine]

You can personally classify it whatever you want; even though I have always been a little and DDlg was always sexual for me, growing up especially as a teenager, I didn't even think of it as a "kink." It was my "normal." But yes, 'technically' it is a kink, but it matters more how it's personally useful to you (whatever descriptor you choose). Identifying it as a kink helped me explore more of who I am, find a community of people who are into the same thing, and thereby narrow down what I am looking for in a potential significant other. 

[jaredstone363]

I don't think there is any right or wrong answer, it will vary from person to person. For me DDLG is more of a "lifestyle" but ageplay I consider a kink. I would'nt get too hung up on defining it, do and explore what is interesting to you.

[LittlePupRune]

I would say its definitely under the BDSM umbrella. A lot of my kink activities are non-sexual, and bdsm doesn't require sex. I would also say that power exchange (dd/lg with daddy as dom and little as sub) is inherently bdsm (its in the acronym: dominance/submission). So ddlg (sexual or non sexual) is part of that umbrella due to being a power exchange dynamic. There may be differentiation between kink and bdsm, so maybe ddlg wouldn't be considered kinky per se, but it would definitely be considered bdsm.

Edited April 27, 2020 by LittlePupRune

[Guest hideouslovely]

I don't think there is any right or wrong answer, it will vary from person to person. For me DDLG is more of a "lifestyle" but ageplay I consider a kink. I would'nt get too hung up on defining it, do and explore what is interesting to you.

 

I have to agree with jaredstone363.  There isn't really one right or wrong answer because of the variety within Ddlg.

 

For me Ddlg is a lifestyle that I share with my partner.  I'm a little but I don't consider it a sexual thing nor do I find it sexually arousing.  I think that Ddlg is a kink because of the power exchange between a daddy and his little.  It is a D/s relationship whether that's sexual or nonsexual.

 

That's my take on things, anyway.