Why do you want to be a Daddy?

[Guest DaddysLolita]

So many open and honest answers. Everyone gets something different from it.

 

Being a dd/cg is not just a lifestyle for me it's part of who I am and what I am made from.

 

So many aspects have been mentioned, caring nurturing loving. The list could go on. Instead I'll just answer the original question.

 

What you enjoy of being little a big will enjoy the reverse or the same. There is no love like an unconditional love. Feeling wanted or needed is nice but it's not what defines a relasionship.

 

That sense of belonging,

 

I will leave you with this thought that best sums it up.

 

A little needs to feel wanted and a big wants to feel needed.

 

I think everybody has different needs and different reasons for entering into a relationship like this, but I feel like your last line definitely sums it up.  

[jakebyrum223]

i have recently wanted to become a Daddy, simply because i have a very strong natural protectiveness, and ability to calm and sooth.. so i found my little on Fetlife.. a little over a month ago and i am very new to all of this  but in a way not so much.... if that makes any sense at all?

 

I have always had that  knack for protecting others and making them feel safe and secure so that part  i have no issue with its more/ less how to go about  like when my  little gets into her space and what not.. does anyone have any suggestions or tips for how to maintain a happy and content  little? 

 

thanks again for the opinions

[caringdaddy]

I will give it a go why i want to be a daddy. i have always been a caring person who likes to lead and protect others if I feel down as I am not able to be the fully me. It had always been in my natue whilst growing up later in life I discovered BDSM and found the DDLG really fits who i am, and I can feel complete of who i am. I really enjoy when my little comes to me for guidance and direction and for me to be setting structure in her life, seeing her becoming happier that she has got a daddy in her life that cares for and only wants the best. the connection that you have and the trust between me and the littles really makes me feel warm inside and happy and seeing her grow as a little. just typing this makes me really look forward to finding my little.

[LolitasDaddy]

Why I Want to Be a Daddy

 

My little and I transitioned into the DDlg lifestyle from a more typical dominant/submissive relationship. I like being her Daddy because I get a fulfillment from nurturing her and helping her be the best her that she can be. Whether that is being comfortable in her little space, or supporting her in something important in her big life. While able to be dominant, and enforce rules, and give punishments, I have never been much of a sadist. I fully understand, and appreciate, the importance of discipline but I prefer to motivate with reward.

 

I would be a Daddy for the simple joy I see in my little face when she is fully immersed in her little headspace. When something has pleased her, such as a new stuffie, a story her Daddy wrote for her, a heartfelt note, or if Daddy suggests playing a new game. The adoration, appreciation, respect I see in her eyes is nothing short of intoxicating.

[Guest buddhagirl]

Daddy wrote down for me why he likes being a Daddy, so I'm deleting my previous post and replacing with his actual words...

 

I love being your Daddy because our dynamic manifests and protects trust in our relationship and in each other in a very powerful way.

 

I love spanking you when you need to be spanked, and disciplining you in other ways to make you feel safe and protected.

 

I like how natural and right it feels, and how it simplifies any problems or disagreements we encounter.

 

It feels like our own little secret, which is very intimate, special, and magical.

 

I love that as your Daddy you respect me, trust me, adore me, and listen to me. That you follow through and do what I tell you to do.

 

I love that you want to be a good girl for your daddy and that you want to make me proud.

 

I like being the boss. I like being the one in charge. I feel challenged and fulfilled by carrying that responsibility.

 

I love that I can do whatever I want to do to you and you not only let me, but you like it, and that it makes you feel safe and protected and desired and loved.

 

I like being your daddy because I get to help you confront old wounds/past hurts/insecurities and help you come face to face with them, and allow you to let go of them, making more room for joy and happiness in your life.

 

I like being your daddy because I know what conditions are best for you to thrive in and it is fulfilling for me to be able to create, maintain,  and safeguard those conditions for you.

 

I like being your daddy because I love my little girl and I want what is best for you, and you trust in me to know what is best.

 

I love being your daddy because it brings us closer together than I've ever felt with anyone before and I want that closeness with you in my life. I don't want this kind of closeness with anyone else, just with my little princess.

 

I love my little girl. You are my pride and joy. You make me feel very loved and very, very happy. 

[swans]

First, I've recognized a pattern in my life that began in childhood, in which I've provided mentorship, guidance, and tutoring to people, most of whom were younger than me.  My earliest memory of doing this was when I was 8, and this kind of behavior has been consistent for most of my life since then.  I'm very good at that kind of thing and I enjoy helping people in that way.

 

Second, I realized that I had acted as a nurturer, caregiver, provider, and mentor in my longest and most intimate romantic relationship.  My partner was very dependent on me, and I loved that I was needed and appreciated for what I could give her.  The relationship eventually failed, but I learned a lot from that relationship.  I recognized that I enjoy having so much responsibility in a relationship, but I wasn't familiar with DD/lg at the time.  When I read about DD/lg, it occurred to me that I enjoy having many of the responsibilities in a romantic relationship that a DD has.

 

Third, I'm a playful and silly adult.  I can connect with the 'littlespace' mindset without feeling or acting like a child myself.

 

Ultimately, I'm confident in my ability to handle the responsibilities of a DD.  I think the rewards are worth taking on the responsibilities.

[Guest ZenDD]

Thank you so much for a great question!

 

I don’t speak on behalf of all Caregivers or Doms, but from my experience I believe there tends to be some general consensus regarding the motivations in D/s lifestyles. So I will humbly and respectfully speak of Daddies as “we” in some examples here. I understand, however, that each Daddy is different, and every concept and relationship is uniquely nuanced.

 

All relationships are symbiotic, but I believe that D/s relationships, and Specifically DDlg/Cgl relationships are even more so. The word “Daddy” is used a lot in the discussion of DDlg. The second “D” in the acronym is more implied than discussed. I like to make sure that Dominance is not forgotten in my concepts of DDlg, but I don’t think this aspect of the lifestyle is being referred to in this thread, so I will assume that the takeaway for the Dominant in a relationship is already understood. To oversimplify it, the rewards for me and most Doms are the feelings of being respected, empowered, trusted, chosen, and anointed with authority. I don’t think the heart of this thread is about what Daddies gain from DDlg sexuality either, so I won’t discuss sex here other than to say that my sexuality is completely enmeshed and indistinct from my Daddy psychology.

 

While it’s important for both Caregivers and littles to be able to function productively without one another, the identities and traits associated with both counterparts equal a balance. I couldn’t be a Caregiver, a Daddy, without someone to care for and focus on. The very existence of the psychology of a Daddy is dependent on the existence of a “little” psychology. And likewise, the psychology of a little can’t be nurtured, protected, and praised without the existence of the Daddy/CG psychology.

 

What my Daddy psychology gets out of a DDlg dynamic, above all, is an immense sense of purpose. That purpose is to protect and nurture the sensitive, but extremely inspiring, aspects of a little’s psychology. What is most attributed to the little psychology is innocence, playfulness, curiosity, wonder, and profound emotion. Most adults lose grasp of those ideals, outgrow them, and tend to not place much value in those things for a productive adulthood. But Daddies look at their littles with awe, and it is indeed with awe that I look at my sweet little Lo and think how all of those aforementioned concepts bubble, erupt and flow from her spirit, from her heart. Daddies value those attributes, and understand that littles are carriers of those very important treasures. We therefore, aren’t just protecting the little, we’re protecting those very concepts in order that they not be lost in adult psychology. Those attributes are a source of joy and revelation.

 

Because littles have a sense of spectacle, imagination, and deep emotion, their devotion and love is unmatched in the adult world. When a Daddy and a little have built a trusting relationship, no one is as devoted as a little, no one loves as deeply as a little, and no one is as wanted, as Daddy. I’m honored to be the recipient of that depth of commitment and adoration. Nothing feels as good. And because of that, it is with great willingness that I love, commit to, and care for my little, and work hard to cultivate the strong and safe environment in which she will thrive to continue to imagine, play, create, and love. It’s a cycle that feeds itself and if maintained with awareness and the proper attention and focus becomes, for me, the most giving, loving, form of romantic relationship. 

Edited September 8, 2016 by ZenDD

[Needy4neediness]

I dont think that you can choose to be a Daddy, its something you just are. For me its about being needed, someone to look after and to help like tieing her shoes.

[WarDaddy]

Being a Daddy is a privilege and a great responsibility at the same time. It is a magnificent feeling of being able to take care of all aspects of your little's life,whatever they need and whenever they need. Of course there are some boundaries, but taking care of someone you love and cherish so much, makes me feel great and very happy.

It's not important if you're cuddling your little, kissing or showing affection , making them safe and cozy, preparing their favorite food and snacks or just being there for your loved one, the bond that is created between caregiver and a little is something that can't be explained with words! Mutual respect and trust is also important, as in every relationship, but I always found relationship between Caregiver and a little as something special.