Why do you want to be a Daddy?

[RachelLovesDaddy]

I am new to a real life Daddy/little relationship. I'm the one who brought it up, because I'd discovered it online before we met. It's an intense desire I have, for a lot of reasons.

 

As a submissive little, it's hard for me to imagine what Daddy gets from it. I begin to feel selfish, like I'm doing all the taking. Part of what makes me tick is knowing that I am bringing pleasure to my partner. It helps to know what he's feeling.

 

For me: Having a Daddy fills me with so much joy. Of course it turns me on (to my core) but it's more than that. Being taken care of, my worries taken away, unlocks a deep cozy place in my mind. I want to crawl in and stay a while. It makes me feel intense adoration for my Daddy.

 

Would any Daddies be willing to share the emotions or drive behind their choice? Do you ever tire of being the one in charge, or does it recharge you like surrendering does for us? (Or are there any littles who have had input from Your Daddy in the past to share?)

[Guest Vexe]

I'm looking forward to the responses to this thread RachelLovesDaddy, thanks for starting it!

 

I'm sure the answers will be varied, but for me Daddy is where being naturally Dominant, young at heart and nurturing intersect.  In that respect it's not so much a matter of want, rather it's a matter of what is.  Being a Daddy is how my love is expressed, and having a little girl is critical for satisfying all three of my natures.

 

It took a while to figure this out.  It isn't really intuitive to be a Dominant and come to terms with what at first seemed to be conflicting desires to control someone for my own pleasure, including, but not limited to, their pain, while simultaneously wanting to nurture and help someone grow.  Oddly enough it was the third aspect, being young at heart, that finally clued me in.  I expected as I grew older to have many of my interests change, but to my surprise they only grew stronger.  I'm still hooked on activities that aren't very normal for someone older, video games, fantasy and science fiction, board games, dancing and skateboarding to name a few.  As a result I found my relationships were more successful with those who also wished to remain young, and as I explored that within the context of D/s, where all my relationships have always been, I found my niche as a Daddy.

 

I suppose that doesn't really answer your question of what does one get from it.  There's really nothing to compare to the adoration of a little.  To the knowledge that they are trying to please me in all that they do.  The excitement I can see in their eyes as they allow themselves to be free from the trappings of adulthood for a while and get excited about stuffies, cartoons or rollercoasters.  The passion to share activities that most of us are expected to leave behind as we age.  The trust that is given.  The sacrifice of pain for my pleasure.  The joy of watching a little grow in their own D/s journey, and most important of all, it's terribly fun.

[Fluffy]

As a Daddy, one of my primary objectives is to make my little happy. Taking care of her, making sure she's healthy, making sure she's emotionally and physically satisfied, taking away her stress, making it possible for her to go back to her childhood where she had no worries and was happy almost all the time. It's also about making it possible for her to open up and trust me with all of her troubles, worries, stresses, pretty much anything that may be holding her back from bliss. 

 

The punishment aspect of it not only gives me and her sexual pleasure, but it also allows for my little to have a release. Allows her to let out her stresses, her anxieties, her worries, any negative feelings. The aftercare is absolutely essential, as forgetting this can leave her in a worse condition than before. The aftercare builds our bond, makes us feel closer to each other, more trusting, more loving. The punishment lets everything out, but the aftercare lets everything good come back together.

 

Ultimately, as long as I'm satisfying the emotional, material, physical, and sexual needs and wants of my little, you will never find me happier.

[Daddys__kitten]

If it's OK that I ramble a bit here. I think of it as a two sided thing. You have this sexy, grown, intellectual woman that acts like an innocent young child. She seems innocent but you know that she is kinky. You know that she is strong and capable of taking care of herself, yet she shows you her weakest side and look up to you as noone else. She have a world of her own, but let you be her whole world.

 

This may be the worst parable ever, but I think of it maybe as fats and sugars in nature. Both are huge triggers for humans. Fat contains lots of calories and human are triggerd to eat them for that reason, on the other hand you can't eat that much if it until you get full. Sugars helps raise insulin so we can store fat, therefore we are triggerd to eat that too, and we can eat ALOT of it. But you can't find things in nature that are both sweet and high in fat. In a store you can, and trigger plus trigger becomes a super trigger, you simply can't stop eating.

In some ways its the same thing with ddlg. Kids are cute and wonderful and all that and their looks and behavior trigger us to like and take care of them. Women are smart and wonderful to be around and we are triggered to be with them. If you then combine those two into a supertrigger, you just can't get enough! You get two wonderful worlds in one person!

 

Have no idea if that made any sense at all haha!

[Fluffy]

If it's OK that I ramble a bit here. I think of it as a two sided thing. You have this sexy, grown, intellectual woman that acts like an innocent young child. She seems innocent but you know that she is kinky. You know that she is strong and capable of taking care of herself, yet she shows you her weakest side and look up to you as noone else. She have a world of her own, but let you be her whole world.

 

This may be the worst parable ever, but I think of it maybe as fats and sugars in nature. Both are huge triggers for humans. Fat contains lots of calories and human are triggerd to eat them for that reason, on the other hand you can't eat that much if it until you get full. Sugars helps raise insulin so we can store fat, therefore we are triggerd to eat that too, and we can eat ALOT of it. But you can't find things in nature that are both sweet and high in fat. In a store you can, and trigger plus trigger becomes a super trigger, you simply can't stop eating.

In some ways its the same thing with ddlg. Kids are cute and wonderful and all that and their looks and behavior trigger us to like and take care of them. Women are smart and wonderful to be around and we are triggered to be with them. If you then combine those two into a supertrigger, you just can't get enough! You get two wonderful worlds in one person!

 

Have no idea if that made any sense at all haha!

 

I love that first paragraph.

[MrBonesWildRide]

When I joined the forums, I didn't actually want to be one anymore. I liked the idea behind it, but felt like I couldn't bring myself to actually embrace the structure of a Caregiver/little relationship. I feel like the structure behind it is beneficial not just for my little but for myself, and so it's good for me to add that into my dynamic. 2 recent relationships were really strained, the first on because the relationship dissolved into fighting and is a bad experience for me and was not really at all like this dynamic. My 2nd recent relationship started breaching into that territory but I just didn't get into it at all. Often because I was too focused on my video game addictions and not on the relationship. 

 

My most recent relationship was with someone who basically pulled me from the brink of abandoning the title and more or less gave me room to flourish. I had a few breakthroughs too and that's where my rekindled enjoyment of the dynamic came in. I want to be a Daddy because I want to benefit my partner in this dynamic as much as they benefit me. I want to make my little feel small while they make me feel Big. 

[Guest XxRWBYxX]

Honestly im new to all of this but why i want to be one to a little and why i liked the one i was in before was simply i liked being able to make my little happy, taking her fears away and giving her a safe place to go to and such it just makes me fee right and such.

[Pablo Neruda]

I'm talking from the perspective of someone who has not yet been in a DD/lg relationship.

 

I guess it's just who I am. I want to care for someone in a deeper way than it would be in a vanilla relationship. I want to help fulfilling my partner's dreams and goals in life, giving her the feeling of safeness and trust when she is around me and ultimately make her happy. Help with little things that might be overwhelming, make sure she's is healthy, physically and mentally and provide stability in her life.

 

I would basically get the same out of it. Someone that truly respects me, loves me and cares for my happiness too. Someone who needs me to be the best I can be, that unconciously pushes me to do things I need to do, but don't enjoy. Someone I can be open with, learn with and grow as a person. 

 

At the end of the day, I just want to make someone truly happy and someone that makes me truly happy. I think, for me, this is only possible as a Daddy and therefore I'm a Daddy.

[Nice_Daddy]

I honestly do not know if it is the dynamic or me personally ... but there is no deeper connection, stronger connection than between me as a Daddy and a little.  It is her vulnerability, her need for protection and guidance that really gets my 'Daddy' side going in full force. I do understand that she is a grown or maturing woman that is capable of standing on her own, but it is her desire / need to have me there helping her that really gets to me.

 

When she says that she is scared to do something, or that she doesn't want to do it because ... whatever.  And I can talk to her, give her my strength and encouragement, and she goes forth and attacks the issue.  WOW.  Intoxicating.  The pride that I feel from her actions, knowing that I had a small part in her courage makes everything worth while.

 

I do get a great deal of pleasure from hearing her call me 'Daddy'.  Again I can not say exactly why, it just makes my insides smile.  For her to acknowledge that I helped her or to say thank you, or that she does need me .... just add that much more.  So if you feel that you are getting a lot from your Daddy ... just tell him that.  Tell him how much you do appreciate him and how much you need him.  I will assume that those words will mean more to him than you can ever imagine .... just like they would to me.

 

I wish you luck and much fun on your journey ... that you posted this here shows that you care ... just share that with him !

[Guest Robin]

I don't want to be a daddy as much as I want to be a caretaker. I need someone in my life that I can take care of. I genuinely want to feel like I'm an important pillar in someone else's life. And the role of a daddy just so happens to cater to those specific desires of mine.

 

I think I'm probably just as needy as a little can be. Sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less. But generally we're just needy for different things. And being a daddy lets me fully embrace what needs I have.

[OhioDaddy76]

I agree with Robcom. It's a little hard to explain but I have needs that are met by being needed. In the grand scheme of things my entire life is pointed towards protecting and caring for others. My vocations have always pointed that way, and I'm very dissatisfied when I'm not in a position of leadership and authority. So it makes sense that this is a deeper characteristic of who I am and in the DDLG dynamic it really allows me to play to my strengths!

 

That said I am pretty punishment averse. I prefer to address my little in terms of processing emotions and situations with the goal of strengthening and understanding how to overcome difficulties. While I like the paternal nature of the relationship I think I'm also driven to support and encourage, to empower and develop others. So I'd rather give lots of "yay, you did it on your own and I'm proud of you" messages than really have a discussion about anyone's shortfalls. I understand some people put great emphasis on the physical, but I'm more interested in the mental and emotional aspects. That's what feeds me.

[mxiio]

Im in it for ice cream, Disneys and lots of artsy colourings for my fridge.

[ChildishMaster]

If its okay for me to reply, the process was long and nothing something I consciously decided. What started it probably was the way I was raised. My mom kinda abandoned me for the first 4 years of my life. All I really had was my dad but he was swamped with work, so I kinda just did my own thing. Thats how things went even when I finally met my mother. Once my brother was born I had to be the one to take care of him. Mind you I was 6 during the time. The responsibilities just kept stacking up as time passed and I kind of grew accustomed to be the one to take care of everyone.

Since my parents weren't really there, growing up I kind of fell into bad habits and into some bad situations to cope with the stress( I was arrested on the day of my 18th birthday, which sucked but I didn't catch anything) eventually I realized that the direction I was going was leading me somewhere bad. So I changed, made myself clean, and cut ties with the people pulling me down with them. Most of them were really good friends of mine too.

Because of those experiences I don't want anyone else to go through the suffering I did so i tend to be protective of people, even if they loved me or not.

All I really want to do I'm the end is make sure my little is safe and happy. There's no greater feeling.

 

Tl;Dr: I had no parental supervision just a lot of responsibilities. Was stupid and fell into bad crowd. Changed, realized making others smile was all I really need to feel happy.

[Ceasarsolo]

Honestly I was introduced to this lifestyle with my last relationship, and it grew quickly on me. I like being able to suprise a little with small gifts but watch as it lighted up her face that's what sold me on being a Daddy.

[Guest abdldaddymatt]

For me, there is a very special bond that is shared between a daddy and baby/little that words just can't describe. It is a very special relationship that is so unique and authentic between the two people involved. It is being able to share something so personal, private, secret, etc... and have the other person feel exactly the same way. Its like having your other half and best friend. Someone I can help mold, guide, and encourage not just in her little side but her adult side as well. I am not a controlling type of person and am not the type to make my girl follow my every desire. I like a girl who can have her own voice, opinions, and actions and be herself without fear of what I will think. I am happiest when the girl I am with is happy. 

[possiblelittle]

I honestly do not know if it is the dynamic or me personally ... but there is no deeper connection, stronger connection than between me as a Daddy and a little.  It is her vulnerability, her need for protection and guidance that really gets my 'Daddy' side going in full force. I do understand that she is a grown or maturing woman that is capable of standing on her own, but it is her desire / need to have me there helping her that really gets to me.

 

When she says that she is scared to do something, or that she doesn't want to do it because ... whatever.  And I can talk to her, give her my strength and encouragement, and she goes forth and attacks the issue.  WOW.  Intoxicating.  The pride that I feel from her actions, knowing that I had a small part in her courage makes everything worth while.

 

I do get a great deal of pleasure from hearing her call me 'Daddy'.  Again I can not say exactly why, it just makes my insides smile.  For her to acknowledge that I helped her or to say thank you, or that she does need me .... just add that much more.  So if you feel that you are getting a lot from your Daddy ... just tell him that.  Tell him how much you do appreciate him and how much you need him.  I will assume that those words will mean more to him than you can ever imagine .... just like they would to me.

 

I wish you luck and much fun on your journey ... that you posted this here shows that you care ... just share that with him !

WOW..Loved reading this.I didn't know there were guys who enjoyed doing all this,Ive always thought a guy like this was rare or didn't exist,I hope it's not rare and i find some one like this,anyways thanx for sharing.

[possiblelittle]

I don't want to be a daddy as much as I want to be a caretaker. I need someone in my life that I can take care of. I genuinely want to feel like I'm an important pillar in someone else's life. And the role of a daddy just so happens to cater to those specific desires of mine.

 

I think I'm probably just as needy as a little can be. Sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less. But generally we're just needy for different things. And being a daddy lets me fully embrace what needs I have.

Hey again,interesting @ the being needy for different things.I hope you don't mind me asking what your needy for?

[possiblelittle]

I agree with Robcom. It's a little hard to explain but I have needs that are met by being needed. In the grand scheme of things my entire life is pointed towards protecting and caring for others. My vocations have always pointed that way, and I'm very dissatisfied when I'm not in a position of leadership and authority. So it makes sense that this is a deeper characteristic of who I am and in the DDLG dynamic it really allows me to play to my strengths!

 

That said I am pretty punishment averse. I prefer to address my little in terms of processing emotions and situations with the goal of strengthening and understanding how to overcome difficulties. While I like the paternal nature of the relationship I think I'm also driven to support and encourage, to empower and develop others. So I'd rather give lots of "yay, you did it on your own and I'm proud of you" messages than really have a discussion about anyone's shortfalls. I understand some people put great emphasis on the physical, but I'm more interested in the mental and emotional aspects. That's what feeds me.

Hi there,i find it interesting how u mention u always being in authoritive positions,do u mind me asking what kid of positions they were? btw i did just join and i find ddlg relationships pretty interesting and want to learn more about them and I'm enjoying reading this whole post,every ones responces and this website so far

[possiblelittle]

For me, there is a very special bond that is shared between a daddy and baby/little that words just can't describe. It is a very special relationship that is so unique and authentic between the two people involved. It is being able to share something so personal, private, secret, etc... and have the other person feel exactly the same way. Its like having your other half and best friend. Someone I can help mold, guide, and encourage not just in her little side but her adult side as well. I am not a controlling type of person and am not the type to make my girl follow my every desire. I like a girl who can have her own voice, opinions, and actions and be herself without fear of what I will think. I am happiest when the girl I am with is happy. 

Loved this!!

[Guest TNDaddy]

Well not sure I can exactly put it into words. Being a daddy is honestly the only time I fell complete. It seemed like there was always a part of me missing when I wasn't being a daddy. When you have a little that puts her faith in you that you will care for her, love her, protect her, guide her, provide for her and be there for her.A little gives up a lot I believe in being a little and there no better bond between a daddy and a little. I have always had the urge to be someone who helps someone in which turned into being a daddy. In one, simple sentence, My heart is full and happy when I am being a daddy.

[Guest Teddy]

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[Guest Mr TwitchPool]

So many open and honest answers. Everyone gets something different from it.

 

Being a dd/cg is not just a lifestyle for me it's part of who I am and what I am made from.

 

So many aspects have been mentioned, caring nurturing loving. The list could go on. Instead I'll just answer the original question.

 

What you enjoy of being little a big will enjoy the reverse or the same. There is no love like an unconditional love. Feeling wanted or needed is nice but it's not what defines a relasionship.

 

That sense of belonging,

 

I will leave you with this thought that best sums it up.

 

A little needs to feel wanted and a big wants to feel needed.

[Ringdancer]

I still have no idea if this is the right kind of relationship for me or not.  I love the idea of being needing and relied upon but I have no experience caring for anyone.

It's certainly interesting enough for me to want to give it a shot should I find the right person to try it with.

[auban]

i have been thinking about posting in this thread for a while now, but i have had a hard time answering the question "why do you want to be a Daddy?"

 

truth is, i am not a Daddy because i wanted to be one.  i am one because i saw that a Daddy is exactly what my little girl needs.  

for the longest time, i thought my little hated me.  i didnt get to see her little side though, she kept her well hidden and protected.  but, eventually, i was able to get her to open up to me.  she had a LOT of very good reasons to NEVER trust another man again.  but, she decided to trust me.

 

so when she finally broke down her walls and told me what she needed, i couldnt help it.  here was this girl who i could see had been hurting all her life...  she had been betrayed by pretty much everyone and she even believed that she was too broken to love.  so even when i told her i loved her, she couldn't accept it.  the sum of her life experiences told her not to trust it.  when she came out to me, i saw how much she had to lay on the line, how vulnerable she was making herself.  

 

thats when i knew that i could never go back.  i want to see her smile.  she had gone far too long without one.  i wanted to see her proud of herself.  she had gone far too long believing that she was worthless.  and i wanted to see her empowered.  she had gone far too long believing that she was helpless and broken.  

 

why do i want to be a Daddy?  well, its mainly because i want my little aki to know that i love her as she is, not as i imagined or wished her to be, and i want to let her know that she CAN be ANYONE she wants.  i want to see that empowered smile, the one that only peace and true joy can bring.  i want to feel the joy of knowing that i was the one that showed her that not only is it possible for her make her dreams a reality, i want to feel the pride of knowing that i taught her HOW to make them a reality.  pride in myself and a fierce pride in her, as my little girl.  

 

 

and i have to say, i am extremely proud of her.  she is an amazing little girl.  

[celtic1]

Great topic! I'm willing to hazard an answer.

 

For myself, a prime motivator for being a daddy is purely selfish but has a spill over effect to my partner. I need being a daddy to be at my best! It motivates me to work harder at my career and helps to propel me professionally. It gives me the structure I need due to the structure I am "forced" to create and provide. It gives me stability in a life often times filled with chaos due to my having no choice but to maintain an even keel... not for myself mind you as I have had no problems bouncing all over the planet for my old career... but in making sure stability is there for another, and as such myself, as well. For me as a daddy... well, why wouldn't I want to make a little the center of my world and biggest responsibility?

 

A second and more binary aspect is the "two hearts as one" concept. Don't get me wrong, I am as enlightened as the next guy when it comes to having an equal partner in an adult relationship, but being a daddy provides me with the feeling of having a complimentary partner... someone who completes me if you will. Two people in totally equal standing with each other is two hearts beating in the same rhythm. I prefer two hearts that when combined make for a whole heart. Though here I admit that perhaps I have some emotional codependency issues.

 

And then there is the romantic aspect of it all... and that is a whole other topic unto itself.

 

And finally dominace. Suffice to say I like being a leader when I have to be (like any INTJ), and who better to lead and help nurture than a little. As a former Army and private military soldier, being confidently in charge just comes naturally nowadays, and women with baby and little girl personalities always seem to gravitate toward me (though I am only now begining to recognize that), so they allow for me to be myself without judging too much and make my relatioships easier, more satisfying and more productive.

 

So feel free to call me selfish, but those are most of the reasons why being a daddy - and a bit of a dom - seems to do it for me.

 

And from the sentiments expressed by some littles, perhaps it is the same for them. Selfishness that somehow translates into equals but opposites, a relatioship of codependency that elevates both, and happiness and fulfillment stemming from the knowledge that each for the other is completion of a private puzzle which perhaps none of us really understands.