Teaching my Daddy

[latestlogout]

So, I just welcomed my boyfriend to the lovely thing that is little space, but he doesn't have much experience with it. Whenever I go into little space it's (mostly) to deal with trauma and stresses, so I need an experienced caregiver to help with me (which I have). I really want my boyfriend to eventually become my full time cg, but we both don't have any idea how to start with that. Does anyone have any advise on how to help him to learn/ me and my caregiver to teach him? He's really invested in learning but it's been pretty hard for him since I told him about me regressing. 

[chateautal]

So, it's hard to advise without a little more context. More than anything else, you will need to communicate together with your CG and BF. Do you anticipate your current CG to be upset at you asking this? (For instance, do you intend to 'replace' your CG with your BF - if so, I can't imagine this development being taken well...!) 

 

As for your BF, you should take a little care not to overwhelm him! Maybe you can introduce little activities one by one - and find out which ones he likes doing with you?

[Guest Looby-Lou]

If your current CG is happy about this goal of yours to have your BF as the full-time CG, then maybe your BF could observe your current CG in action with you? And/or maybe you and your CG could role play some situations to demonstrate to your BF what you need.

Depending on the set-up with your CG, it could be bittersweet for this person to relinquish care of you to someone else. Or perhaps it will become that you have 2 CGs - maybe they'll help you in different ways, or sort of give each other "time off". Perhaps you all need to discuss if it's ok for them to talk about you or only with you.

 

I'm always banging on about "communication" and I'll say it again here.  COMMUNICATE! All 3 of you. And especially for you and your BF to establish if there are boundaries when it comes to your BF/GF and CG/little relationship, and the boundaries with your current CG - will it all blend in together or will you have almost separate dynamics?

 

Keep talking, trying, re-evaluating. Stick with what works, modifiy what isn't quite working, and ditch what doesn't work.

 

Hope it all works out well - for all 3 of you.

 

Looby

Edited March 15, 2020 by Looby-Lou

[Guest QueenJellybean]

have you considered having your full-time CG mentor your partner? 

it sounds like that would be the best step, especially if your CG is doing a good job. 

here are some links to get you started: 

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/51-general-advice-for-new-daddies/

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/5454-lets-discuss-healthy-caregiving/