How to start a conversation about little space with my boyfriend?

March 12, 2020

My boyfriend and I have been dating a few years. I'm really happy with him and he's the first and only person irl I've talked to about being little. He was super supportive and told me it was completely normal.

Being little isn't something that's very present in my life I won't think about it for months at a time, but then suddenly it'll hit me and it's all I think about for two weeks.

I know that this isn't healthy and I want to find a balance but I'm not so good at it. I don't like asking people for help but I kinda want to ask him if he would be okay with being my caregiver on a more low-key level.

I broke down what being little means to me into a much more watered down version and I explain that to him and asked if he would be okay with it: A movie night where we watch Disney movies, color, eat snacks and just be soft.

(but not little exactly)

He said yes, of course. He's great like that, but I'm realizing now that I kinda want more. We don't really talk about me being little because every time I bring it up I get very uncomfortable and it takes me a very long time to say simple things. But I think talking about it is the only way I'll start to feel comfortable.

And honestly I think if I were actually able to articulate what about me is little, what I like about being little and what I would like from him as a caregiver I think he would realize we already do a lot of those things. ( go to the park and swing, watch cartoons, talk about toys and more)

I just don't know how to begin to explain that it's not actually that different from what we do now it's just a change in tone, perspective and language.

Any advice is welcome, thank you!

March 12, 2020

Could you show him a youtube video? You could find one you like and use it as a conversation starter (like a video just talking about it)

March 12, 2020

Well, considering that you already talked to him about all these things and he is seemingly supportive maybe you can show him some threads about the topic on here, or you can find Youtube videos as suggested above. Even for me as a little it took time and research to figure out what was going on with me.

I am not going to say that if he loves you he will do it, because that's not necessarily true, but if he has already been this open with stuff and even used the world ''normal'' to describe it, then surely he might open to the full extent of the dynamic. All you got to do is find something that explains it for you, as a conversational starter.

March 12, 2020

I just don't know how to begin to explain that it's not actually that different from what we do now it's just a change in tone, perspective and language.

Any advice is welcome, thank you!

Variations of this topic come up quite frequently, so if you search through the threads you might find some useful ideas from what others have done. (Someone might helpfully provide links for you! I don't know how to, sorry.)

But you're already more than half way there by the sound of it. You've previously opened the conversation with your boyfriend, which is often the hardest first step. (Well done you!)

Maybe say to him exactly what you've said in your post here. Or show him this thread if that's easier for you and it will get a discussion going.

Perhaps write down what you're hoping to achieve and use that as a guide for the conversation, in case your mind goes blank in the moment.

Also you could ask open-ended questions (so he's not put on the spot too much) such as "I was imagining that we did ...." or "I was wondering how you'd feel if I said ..." - and "what would you think if I did ...."

The most important thing is to keep communication honest, open and "alive". You don't have to sort everything out in one discussion - call it a day when you've both got enough to think about, and revisit it at a later date.

You said you find it a struggle to talk a lot about this with him, so maybe he just doesn't want to push you!

Looby

March 14, 2020

Sign In

How to start a conversation about little space with my boyfriend?

Recommended Posts

mykryptonromance

JustALittlePrincess

Pupperoo

Guest Looby-Lou

Guest QueenJellybean

Create an account or sign in to comment

Create an account

Sign in

Browse

Activity