Pretty new to being a daddy

[DiceInTheMirror]

So my wife has always expressed a desire for basic daddy traits, like being protective and attentive to her all the time. We moved in together six months ago and have been married for the last four. Over that time, she has made it clear BIG time that she needs HARD daddying, both sexually and non-sexually. So I'm still learning a lot about DDlg culture and I want to do it for her!

 

My main question here is things to do for a little or ways to make a little feel special. She has some things that affect her mental health a significant amount and she's easily triggered by things that seem harmless to me but can ruin her entire day which leads to me needing to "make up" things to her a lot with "special" things. We've already done some stuff together like tea time and a blanket fort but she can also be pretty picky when she's upset. I've gleaned over lists from google (which is how I found this forum <3) but they all basically say the same things. What are some really good ways to treat a little girl after a bad day? Or making things up to them after you upset them? Or just making them feel really special?

 

Thanks in advance to everyone that gives me time and thought.

[RavenclawPrincess]

My suggestions fall under basic aftercare strategies, which can be used anytime to make sure everyone is good.

 

1. Food/drink. Being hangry is no good after a hard day. This is a great time to have something special for dinner or dessert. You could even get takeout and turn it into a tea party or eat in a blanket fort while watching a movie! Having something special to drink, like chocolate milk or special juice, in a special cup/sippy/bottle can be comforting as well.

 

2. Bath time! Give her a bubble bath. If she’s feeling little, y’all can play with toys together, or you can read her stories while she soaks. You can wash her hair, for example, and that’s a very caring way to help her relax whether she’s feeling little at the time or not. Help her dry off, put her lotion on for her, brush her hair, dress her in comfy clothes, etc.

 

3. Set aside some time to do an activity together. Watch a favorite show or movie, do a puzzle/play a game, do a craft/coloring, play with toys if she likes that during little space, etc. whatever y’all like to do together will be great!

 

4. Sleep. Enforce bedtime but make sure there’s extra cuddles involved! Spend some extra time getting her ready for bed and establish a “special” routine that involves extra care so y’all can end a bad day on a high note together.

[Guest Looby-Lou]

... What are some really good ways to treat a little girl after a bad day? Or making things up to them after you upset them? Or just making them feel really special?

 

 

Well everyone has their own things that "make them tick", so when your girl is having a good day, and neither of you is in a rush, that might be a good opportunity to have a discussion about what you both like. Because only she can tell you what she likes and needs.

It's never good for anyone to feel like they're walking on eggshells so set yourselves up for a relaxed chat, maybe with some favourite snacks?

You could even show her some of the lists you found on google - if you print them up it could be fun activity where she has different colour highlighters to mark things as you discuss them with each other.

 

For me, just having my Daddy cuddle me close and talk to me would be what I needed on a bad day. Maybe let me have some of my favourite foods, or cut my sandwich into funny shapes for me etc.

 

After upsetting me? Again, cuddle me close, be gentle, probably give me a binkie to suck. Just generally love me and help me calm down if need be. And then ... have a talk with adult heads in place. Two adults talking about what happened, how to avoid it happening again or deal with it better next time etc. 

 

Making me feel special? That could be lots of things. Mostly small things rather than big gestures. Something that shows he "gets" me. Bringing home a new version of my favourite chocolate bar. Or making a playlist of songs for me. Or wearing what he knows is my favourite shirt. Showing that he appreciates me and what i do for him.

 

Wishing you both happiness together. 

Looby

Edited March 5, 2020 by Looby-Lou

[Sleepybabie]

Things you can do for your Little:

1. Help your little her shoes
2. Wash his or her hair in the bathtub
3. Pet your little's head
4. Pick out his or her clothes
5. Pull  her into your lap
6. Get his or her pacifier if you notice him or her chewing their lips, fingers, or acting nervous
7. Cuddle  her
8. Make your little giggle (tickles, jokes, etc)
9. Use little dishes for a meal you've prepared
10. Bring her a drink in a sippy cup or bottle
11. Stick a crazy straw in their drink
12. Hold their hand in public (especially when crossing the street)
13. Order for them at a restaurant
14. Drive them places (and pick them up)
15. Go to your little's doctor’s appointments with them
16. Help him or her make tough choices (be their guide)
17. Let  her fall asleep on your lap or chest
18. Ask them to help you with little tasks and things
19. Ask if they help with little tasks
20. Tell him or her when they are a good girl or boy
21. Tell him or her when they make you proud
22. Take care of them when they are sick or feeling under the weather
23. Remind your little to take their medicine (and praise them for taking care of their health)
24. Suggest naptime, especially if your little seems crabby or excessively irritated
25. Read to her (naps, bedtime, any time)
26. Ask your little about their favorite things (and tell them about yours) (animals, colors, shapes, stuffed animals, etc)
27. Whisper secrets to him or her
28. Go through their coloring pages, artwork, drawings, or crafts and tell them which ones are your favorites
29. Teach him or her new things
30. Remind your little about their plushies’ names
31. Ask your little about their plushies and toys
32. Tuck them in at night (including a kiss on the forehead)
33. Remind them of their bedtime
34. Remind them to brush their teeth before getting into bed
35. Ask if your little remembered to do things (chores, errands, other tasks)
36. Kiss the top of your little's head or forehead frequently
37. Color with your little
38. Check for mean-monsters (under the bed, in the closet, in the dark room they need to go to or through)
39. Listen to their excited babbles and chatter (get excited with them)
40. Play pretend with your little
41. Take your little to a park
42. Push her on the swings
43. Let your little pick the movie on movie night
44. Tell your little that they are cute/adorable
45. Kiss all of their owies, ouches, and boo-boos
46. Use awesome band-aids (colorful, cartoon characters)
47. Surprise your little
48. Get your little 'little' gifts
49. Set up a bubble bath
50. Let  her draw a tiny heart on you
51. Check on your little's planner, chore list, or errand tasks
52. Make music with your little
53. Pick out their jammies, PJs, or sleep clothes
54. Cook with your little (and, sometimes, for your little)
55. Take your little to the zoo
56. Take your little to the library (and help them pick a little book)
57. Plan and go on a picnic
58. Take a walk with your little (and hold their hand)
59. Take your little stargazing
60. Visit a museum with her
61. Paint your little's toenails (or let them be silly and paint yours)
62. Make sure she has something to cuddle (on the couch, in bed)
63. Invite  her to a special tea party (with their favorite stuffed friends)
64. Ask about your little's imaginary friends
65. Plan a themed date night
66. Plan a great adventure with them (even if it's silly and make believe)
67. Play board games with him or her
68. Play video games with him or her (or watch them play them)
69. Do arts and crafts with him or her
70. Give your little candy/sweets (but not too many)
71. Make your little hot cocoa with marshmallows
72. Help build blanket forts
73. Rub your nose gently against theirs to give special Eskimo kisses
74. Show them a place they've never seen before
75. Whisper "shhh" in your little's ear when they're upset
76. Wipe away their tears (always)
77. Take your little to see a children's movie in the theater (let them have a child's size popcorn too)
78. Sing with them when they break out into song
79. Call your little pet names such as: princess, prince, little one, doll, baby girl, baby boy, etc.
80. Appreciate little gifts they make and give you
81. Make a funny face at them in public
82. Scoop your little one up into your arms or lap
83. Watch cartoons with them
84. Make your little a healthy snack
85. Make a meal of special little foods
86. Give your little an allowance
87. Have your little complete chores (and check on their progress through the day or week)
88. Remind your little to wash their hands before they eat
89. Get things from places they can’t reach
90. Rub her tummy when it hurts
91. Start a pillow fight
92. Shoot them with a water gun or nerf gun
93. Quote from their favorite little books and movies
94. Ask silly questions
95. Try to win them a prize at the carnival, faire, amusement park, or any crane machine
96. Take  her somewhere where they need to dress up to go to
97. Ruffle their hair
98. Boop and bop their nose if their emotions are getting too intense
99. Let them wear your t-shirt/hoodie/clothes
100. Write a note and leave it somewhere for them to find as a surprise
101. Congratulate her for doing something they felt was difficult
102. Start their sleepy music at night to help them relax
103. Take your little to an amusement park, a carnival, or a faire
104. Take selfies and photobooth pictures with your little
105. Make pinky promises with your little