Thinking About The Future

[bunbun02]

Hi everyone, 

 

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about myself and who I want to be. I'm about to graduate and move across the country for school and it's hit me hard that things are changing for me. The future is coming soon and there's no avoiding it. I can't keep running from who I have to be in day-to-day life and what's expected of me. I have to be rational and think logically. 

 

I have to grow up. 

 

So I've been thinking about trying to stop being little. Being little so often has made me feel like I'm not ready for the future and the person I need to be. Even though it makes me happy and relieves stress in the present, it also worries me and creates more stress about the future. How am I supposed to be an adult when I spend so much time thinking/acting like a child? 
 

So far, it's been about two and a half weeks since I decided to try to stop slipping into little space, and it's been rough. I've had a difficult time and it's been emotionally taxing trying to force myself to be big, especially in tough situations. I don't know what to do- should I keep trying to stop being little and give up on it (maybe even get rid of my little stuff and stop visiting this forum) or should I continue being little? 

 

I desperately need advice. I would really appreciate it if anyone who's been through or is going through something like this could give me a hand. 

 

Thank you for reading. 

 

 

 bunbun02

 

[Onemoretime]

I have experienced the same thing as a dom.i always thought i should focus on my job stop being a cg/dd stop looking for a little quit video games.the answer is NO i dont think you should stop there will be time when you can be little and when you can be big ..The answer is simlle

 

never give up

[PigtailPrincess]

Alright first off let me say that I think this is super normal and something so many of us go through. And this is not just a one time thing. I believe because of how DDLG is viewed there will always be the pressure to drop it all and assimilate. However I would urge you to avoid any rash decisions right now (such as getting rid of all your little things).

 

To me it sounds like you need balance. You are worried that being little will interfere with your life when really it can be a plus or an addition to your life. That being said being a little doesn't mean you are a real child and as such there will be times in your life where you need to put it on simmer so you can deal with whatever is coming your way. But use it as a reward at that point. When you have done what you need you can play with your toys or have your bottle ect. Another way is to slyly incorporate it into the adulting you have to do. Bring a small fidget toy with you to stressful events. Have a little babyish game on your phone you can play here ant there.

 

I guess what I am saying is yes you need to take care of the important stuff but that doesn't mean you have to stop being you. Keep working at it and you will find a healthy middle ground. 

 

Good luck!

[Alaskan Daddy]

ultimately the choice will be yours as to what you do. There are many aspects of life where balance has to be maintained and DDLG is no different. After high school I was lost without playing sports.(kids games) What I did was played adult league softball and basketball. I used them as my way to forget about the adult world for a while and enjoy things I loved as a kid. It was a good way to relieve stress and anxiety.  But I still had to go and do adult things every day.

My point is that you don't have to give up your little side to be an adult. You just may need to find balance. Being a little is a part of who you are. It sounds like it is an important part of you and brings a certain comfort and emotional stability to your life. This is something lots of littles struggle with. I know you will get lots of good advice from many littles on this site who struggle with the same thing. I hope this helps in some way. Remember you are not alone

[Prin. Chris]

A lot of us have been there. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing though. If you truly enjoy being little, you can find a balance. When I grew up, I put away childish things including the fear of being seen as childish. This is doubly true for littles.

[RavenclawPrincess]

If little space is stressing you out, put it on the back burner for now. It's really important to be able to adult when you need to adult, and there is a level of mental self control involved in that which can be tricky for some. I agree with the suggestions that for now, use little space as a reward or during your down time to unwind from stress. As you learn about yourself and how your mind works, it'll become easier to control how and when you engage in full on little space. Part of that is just a matter of experience. Throughout the day I flow in and out of little space pretty seamlessly, and even if I'm mentally in little space I can carry myself like an adult to take care of business in a way where no one else knows the difference, with the exception of maybe realizing that I'm happier or being a little more playful/silly (if that isn't completely inappropriate for the situation). Learning how to control yourself and your little space is a skill that comes with time and practice, but it's doable. I think you're already on the right track by realizing that you need to learn how to be in control and adult when you need to adult. 

 

Perhaps for now, you can work to maintain a "big" mindset throughout the day (like you're already doing currently), and do little space activities at the end of the day (before bed) to unwind from the stress of the day. Using your toys, coloring books, little shows/movies/music, goofing off with your little friends, etc. over time could help you train your mind to view engaging in those activities as a green light to enter little space. Having certain signals/triggers that you are in control of can make a huge difference in your situation without giving up little space altogether. It sounds like depriving yourself of it altogether is very stressful, so do what works for you to have a healthy balance and use little space as a part of maintaining your mental health. I promise it gets easier over time to balance things out, it's just a matter of training yourself to be able to do so

[chateautal]

So, not wanting to conflate DDLG with ABDL, I think there's a common pattern of behaviour in both - particularly in younger people (or those not in a relationship) - and that's of the binge/purge cycle. Here is an article (SFW) likely about 20 years old by now!) on the topic. I strongly believe the same forces and patterns arise in DDLG, because there's a sense of guilt and desire to be 'normal'/adult, and the taboo pressures of modern society, pitted against a seemingly irrational, but ultimately unstoppable, desire to be Little.

 

Breaking the cycle becomes a question of self-acceptance: and a big key to that is community, and friends. It's better to have a 'grounding in humanity' and know you're not the only person in the world who acts that way - and see other people who have (more or less!) got their lives together, but who still indulge in being a Little whenever the opportunity comes up. Then, you realise that it's perfectly okay to be big when you need to be, and little when you want to be.

[baby_k]

Child cannot be a little if you ask me. You need to be full grown adult first, or it is merely just continuing the child-like stuff and not growing up. ( Also seems to me that it's one pretty normal part of growing up that teens get into their childhood toys etc. I maybe would not call this being a little but a phase and going through it is fine ).

 

However, I also think that many, specially young people, seem to think that being an adult is something super serious and hard to achieve. So, maybe consider what you think is being an adult and if you have maybe too stiff ideas about it? People are silly, playful and like random stuff no matter what their age is, they have issues coping with stress and know what is correct way to act.

 

As an adult you need to take responsibility of yourself, your life and your wellbeing. But taking care of yourself means accepting yourself as you are, also including your little side, so why not? If "being a little" is damaging your life, causing you issues or you can't properly take care of yourself nor live your life fully, yes, it definately is a problem and you should try to do something to it.

 

What I would see conserning is that you say it's hard to be "big" in tough situations. Those specially are the situations where you need to be able to "adult" and deal with the reality. But wihout knowing what you really meant with that, might be that it is still okay and you just put extra pressure on yourself with random ideas on how you should be.