.. isn't it supposed to get easier?

[PriincessTori]

hey everyone, me again!

 

i thought that over time things were supposed to get easier, you stop thinking about them, you stop wondering what they're up to, if they think about you anymore, all of that stuff.. but it seems like it's actually the opposite - like, over time it's getting harder, i'm thinking about him more than i was, i miss him so god damn much, i forget all of the bad things he did and how much he was there for me. 

 

i just really wish it was all over already, i just want to move on and be happy. i want to feel loved again, i want to be able to cuddle somebody without feeling like it's so wrong, because it's not him.

 

i keep imagining scenarios where he turns up at my house and he pours his heart out to me.. but that's never, ever going to happen. that's just me hoping and dreaming, even though it's so silly - that stuff only ever happens in movies.

 

i find myself posting things on instagram, facebook etc that i hope that he will see it but in reality i know that he will never see it, he probably isn't even interested in the slightest.

 

it's getting harder and harder each day rather than easier and i feel like i'm going backwards rather than forwards. what am i supposed to do? we have zero contact, i'm talking to other people and i'm trying so hard to move on but, i just can't. i'm so in love with him. i don't hate him like i tell myself i do.. i'm just, so not over any of this and i feel like im falling to pieces.  

 

i'm sorry if you guys thing this is annoying, boring or something. i feel like this is the only place where i can have an outlet.

 

tori x

Edited February 21, 2020 by PriincessTori

[EvieTheOne]

Babygirl...I wish I could tell you some clever stuff, but in truth we need to ride it out...we need to mourn before we can connect with others in that way.. don't judge yourself, try not to presume, and stick to your decision..at some point, all of it would be lost to a gentle nostalgic tug, and then, not even that...and when we get there, someone new can move into our hearts. It's okay to cry, hope, stay in denial, bargain, feel angry, call, these are all stages we go through when we suffer a loss.. it's okay, we need to feel it all so that we can let go and heal.

[Tasherz]

Hi there, 

 

I know what that is like and I am going to say something that seem unhelpful but sometimes its what we need to be reminded. You are amazing! And honestly you just need to ride it out and feel all of the feelings, nothing will get better if you just push it down or away. In saying that, talking about it can be a good outlet! We are here for you! Just smile and take it one day at a time. 

 

Lots of love going your way! 

Edited February 21, 2020 by Natashers