EvieTheOne Posted February 19, 2020 Report Posted February 19, 2020 Just for fun Is given the following scenario: guy called B with whom you hit it off on a vanilla dating site, ghosts you after two weeks of chatting (let's say because he's not attracted to overweight women, *which I am and which he told me that I am), after the shock and hurt of the "you just disappeared asshole, you could've said Thanks but no thanks" wears off, you're back on the dating site, couple of months later, connecting with others and trying to find a partner, just to get stalked and called names and accused of cheating (wtf..) by said B, who's carried on that website anyway . In addition he now gathers his friends to bully you, and you find out he's into BDSM, polyamory, he's bi, and now you're attacked by these side lovers as well. He's contacting you on the sly all the time and it's always your fault because you refused to send him a full bodied photo after he sent you a fake one (you found out it wasn't him in the photo nor was his name B..uhohhh) Question: After some years, and having moved on emotionally, should/would you take him back?????!! :D This is not a joke! (well..it sorta is..)
TheTrainer Posted February 19, 2020 Report Posted February 19, 2020 No. Leave the site. Find others. Change your name, only share photos AFTER you've developed a relationship on messages and verified voice, gender, etc... Life is too short for games like this, don't let others waste your time, there are diapers to be wet after all. 3
Guest ☠Doobngoobr Hoobgz☠ Posted February 19, 2020 Report Posted February 19, 2020 Don't take him back. He has no respect for you. He is a bully, not a dom. There is a night and day difference. If you can, gather screenshots and anything else you can about him and report him to the site management. Most sites will not tolerate such behavior. And be sure to block him. 1
EvieTheOne Posted February 19, 2020 Author Report Posted February 19, 2020 (edited) No. Leave the site. Find others. Change your name, only share photos AFTER you've developed a relationship on messages and verified voice, gender, etc... Life is too short for games like this, don't let others waste your time, there are diapers to be wet after all. ...."there are dipers to be wet, after all".. don't be cruel, it's unnecessary.. I haven't had a diaper on since I was two. Yes, I left, changed my name, never shared a photo online, instead I showed my whole self to him and half the world, in my glory and roundness. thank you for your feedback:) Edited February 19, 2020 by EvieTheOne
EvieTheOne Posted February 19, 2020 Author Report Posted February 19, 2020 (edited) Don't take him back. He has no respect for you. He is a bully, not a dom. There is a night and day difference. If you can, gather screenshots and anything else you can about him and report him to the site management. Most sites will not tolerate such behavior. And be sure to block him. That's that. He had no respect, no consideration and no love, what he did have though, were expectations...that just because, I should get into his games and act as his slave. I wasn't and because I didn't know that he was acting from a position of BDSM Dom, his words and acts came down as a madman's words and actions, he was abusive, so I took him seriously and panicked. He watched me struggle and almost lose it, still he couldn't find it in himself to come clean. His selfishness and cowardice almost cost me my life. I can securely say that he's got no place in my life. He had chances and he had his time, I am not swayed anymore. Thank you for your feedback, this support and understanding from the community was what missed and would have needed four years ago..but I was too scared and ashamed of my newfound love of this lifestyle to reach out. I was stuck in little space and he bullied me there. He threw on me the most disgusting (they felt in that state anyway) sexual acts and I went a vegetable for long months. He's genuinely deluding himself that if he only bullies me a bit more since now I'm officially out and it's fairplay now to approach me as a makeshift Daddy, that it's all good, we could start again. I'm not interested. Edited February 19, 2020 by EvieTheOne
MissPattch Posted February 19, 2020 Report Posted February 19, 2020 Honestly, how can one see where they're walking in life if they look back over their shoulder? THey might miss the person they were always meant to be with. So No. I personaly would not even entertain the idea of taking him back. His sociopathic and narcissistic tendancies are setting of my alarm bells and i don't even know him >.< Abuse is abuse, in any of its forms, whether he was solely responsible or got his "mates" to join in. I would not one to be with in spitting distance of any body that would claim to like me and then get his cronies to gang up on me and throw verbal abuse. Eugh, this whole scenario is setting me off XD I'm outta here before i start ranting.... 1
EvieTheOne Posted February 19, 2020 Author Report Posted February 19, 2020 Don't worry ❤️ The skies will come down before I even think about that person. The truth is I don't! It's done, I've graduated from his slave training school MissPattch, more or less alive, and after a good three years of piecing myself together, I am ready to be loved. I ask for nothing else: don't care for status, money, titles, none of that c*ap. Can he love, can he receive my love? Is he self aware, kind, respectful? Because I met all the jackasses, the users, the exploiters, the mockers. I'm done. It's just that sometimes I come across one that reminds me heavily of how I was treated. Then they meet the moon's dark side. And then they whine... 1
chateautal Posted February 19, 2020 Report Posted February 19, 2020 It's funny how ghosts tend to come back - because they're usually also narcissistic a---holes who can't stand the thought of you being with someone else. There is a nice guide in the resources section - though your ghost seems like it might require a more vigorous exorcism...! 2
Guest You&me Posted February 19, 2020 Report Posted February 19, 2020 Welllll.... If he has totally and completely and thoroughly changed and is no longer the same person. If he has regret and sorrow for his previous actions / attitude and admits completely and apologetically that he was at fault. If he deeply, honestly, and emotionally wants you back no matter what and is willing to go out of his way to make things right. If you feel confident about the new him and realize that he has now become the right person for you... then you might be able to take him back. But even if everything confirms all the ‘ifs’ I mentioned above, I would still take him back with reservations. Be careful and in no way take him back if he hasn’t met those conditions.
EvieTheOne Posted February 19, 2020 Author Report Posted February 19, 2020 Ahhh..but we're prepared for that "they can't stand the thought of you being with someone else." bit...keep united with your partners and prepare for years of "bugging", of going away and returning to check if you're vulnerable or mild enough to let their manipulation into your heart. They don't give up and they will attack your prospective partner as well. Prepare for the smear campaign, the crocodile tears, and the pangs of guilt you feel at times because it all seems so real. Prepare to be treated even worse if you do take them back. And yes, definitely prepare for them to try to triangulate, try to make themselves relevant in your life by pushing into your new relationship. You suddenly weak up that there's the three of you in your relationship, and that's something to avoid at all costs, don't let them get in on your new connection, because they'll do their best to turn your focus back on them.These are the realities of having a narcissistic ex, all from recent experience. Careful because they are literally out to destroy your new love. 2
EvieTheOne Posted February 19, 2020 Author Report Posted February 19, 2020 Welllll.... If he has totally and completely and thoroughly changed and is no longer the same person. If he has regret and sorrow for his previous actions / attitude and admits completely and apologetically that he was at fault. If he deeply, honestly, and emotionally wants you back no matter what and is willing to go out of his way to make things right. If you feel confident about the new him and realize that he has now become the right person for you... then you might be able to take him back. But even if everything confirms all the ‘ifs’ I mentioned above, I would still take him back with reservations. Be careful and in no way take him back if he hasn’t met those conditions. Pheww... there's only one bottom line: I am warry, distrusting and not in love with him. I don't love him. I don't want him. If get a restraining order on him if he as much moves to the same country as me. Sometimes the damage is such that the other person doesn't want to see or talk nevermind meet up. We need to accept and pay off our karma some other way...maybe rescue puppies. 2
LittleTeacup Posted February 20, 2020 Report Posted February 20, 2020 No!!!!!! That person sounds scaryyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!! I don't understand how people can be like that. Does he think people like being called names? And why would he care so much if he said before he doesn't like you? I don't get it!
EvieTheOne Posted February 20, 2020 Author Report Posted February 20, 2020 No!!!!!! That person sounds scaryyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!! I don't understand how people can be like that. Does he think people like being called names? And why would he care so much if he said before he doesn't like you? I don't get it! I understand that I don't understand! that's pretty much how things went with him and his friends. They would just change places under one account and mess around with people because they were spoilt little brats and their dominants (equally emotionally arrested) and had fun..they managed to gaslight me to the point of insanity and they're still laughing today because..well..it's funny. Kicking another (while they're down) is funny. Mocking them for then screaming in pain is funny. Feeling all offended and entitled and running for their equally egotistical narcissistic dom/domes if they're called out on their behaviour is suddenly NOT funny for these 'kids'...no, when it's their turn to take it, they are by as much resilient as a non self..they are not. They cannot stand their ground and they haven't got any weight to their words or actions..they're piles of ..defence mechanisms, bubbles of hot air, buffing and buffooning around in self importance and that warm nest of psychopathology encouraging them to be so.
TheTrainer Posted February 20, 2020 Report Posted February 20, 2020 I can't tell if you're serious about me being "cruel" so I apologize. 1
EvieTheOne Posted February 21, 2020 Author Report Posted February 21, 2020 I can't tell if you're serious about me being "cruel" so I apologize. I apologize as well, I presumed you were being sarcastic when you said "after all.."
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