Public service announcement read profiles before messaging

[Guest daddy'ssweetpea]

Why do people message others with out reading their personal ads and profiles? I don't mean to be rude but don't ask me som5 that you can find out on my profile or in my personal. This has happened a lot to me lately just had to vent. Have a great day folks.

[LittleTeacup]

I know what you mean. My profile clearly states that I'm not looking for a caregiver and I still occasionally get messages like "hey want me 2 b ur daddy?" I told a recent one to learn to read before unfriending him. (And he told me I was rude.)

 

I think it's just people who want to expend no effort and maybe chance into getting a bite. I hope they're mostly young and will learn better over time.

[RavenclawPrincess]

Yeah, I agree with Teacup. Instant gratification, not effort, is the name of the game for some people. It’s best to just cut off private contact and move on if the person isn’t trying to sell something that you’re also looking for. Edited February 13, 2020 by RavenclawPrincess

[Guest QueenJellybean]

we get a post like this every so often.

i wish i had an answer for you beyond the wise words above -- instant gratification society!

 

we live in a world of quick clicks & door delivery. 

we don't have to wait for things anymore, so why should we have to wait to get to know someone before dating them? 

smh. 

 

i'm sorry you are encountering this. 

please be sure to block any unwanted messages, and be aware that you cannot receive a message unless you accept a friend request,

so be sparing about who you allow on your friends list! 

[Guest frozenwolf]

And this is why I keep my friends list so small. Sounds like what you have is a HNG not Daddy material anyway. I agree just ignore them then unfriend if we can get enough of these idiots to either leave or get a clue maybe we can clean this trash up.

[Guest TDaddy]

I agree that you shouldn't jump into a convo and ask if they want a CG, specially if it's on their profile that they don't want one. However regarding other stuff like hobbies, and such. Sometimes it's nicer to talk about them at the beginning to break the ice. Yes you can read up on someone and learn everything about them, but are you ever going to build a relationship. What happened to the thrill of learning someone's quirks, instead of just reading them on a bio. 

[chateautal]

I think some guys just want to play the numbers game - it doesn’t matter to them if it only works 1% of the time if they send 200 messages. Maybe this works fine for tinder, but I can’t see what they’re even hoping to achieve in a ddlg or bdsm setting - where unless you have some kind of personal connection with your partner, it’s totally meaningless.

Edited February 14, 2020 by chateautal

[Guest daddy'ssweetpea]

I have no problem talking about myself and giving more detail, but when someone askes my little age or something else clearly iny profile it just feels like they put no effort in messaging me which is not a good start to talking to me. It's not even such a big deal if they do it but it sure won't get them on my good side.

[MysticSand]

I have mixed feelings on this. I had a really bad experience on here where someone had walls of text in both their profile and ad and got really worked up if I forgot something. Like okay, yes I read your profile but sorry I didn't commit your life's biography to memory. It was my bad I didn't remember what country they were from but also, sometimes it's a talking point. Sometimes I ask things I may know already just to get conversations started (and not seem overly creepy that I stalked some posts).

 

I will also say this person was really miffed that I didn't want to just jump in to looking for something other than friendship when they "explicitly stated in their profile AND ad that [they] weren't looking for friendship." I'm sorry. I didn't realize that when you talk to someone for the first time knowing you're both looking for a relationship that you jump right into relationship things. Doesn't friendship and compatibility come first? Just me, maybe. OTL

 

I agree with you that people should read people's bios and ad first and take time to get to know someone. But also on the flip side, it's important people don't get big heads and get angry and divisive if someone mixes up or glosses over a detail or two. Goes both ways. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edited February 22, 2020 by MysticSand

[chateautal]

I agree with you that people should read people's bios and ad first and take time to get to know someone. But also on the flip side, it's important people don't get big heads and get angry and divisive if someone mixes up or glosses over a detail or two. Goes both ways. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

In some ways, this is the same problem as in the original post, but with more writing: namely, there are some people who don't want to listen to others, and are not that interested in conversation. I know I'm guilty of writing essays myself, but I don't expect to set a test on them!! Imagine that person's reaction if they told you something and you replied, "Yes, I know - I read it already." I would bet anything, it would also be negative and passive-aggressive.

 

they "explicitly stated in their profile AND ad that [they] weren't looking for friendship."

It is quite nice when people put red flags so clearly and obviously out in the open, though.

[ScarletBaby]

When I was still looking for a Daddy that could be very annoying for me. I also write lots, I don’t expect everything to be remembered of course but when I would message and they said a lot I would go back and refer to their bio and posts to make sure I didn’t ask something that the information was so clearly there. I understand not always doing that is easy of course and I would calmly give them my answer and mention where it was and express how I can understand forgetting something and things would move smoothly. Though I do understand the frustration of being asked something right away that they could have read about you, I suggest for the ice breakers you ask for an elaboration on what you read. It shows you did your research and you want to know more. That’s my opinion anyways. (Sorry for no paragraph breaks, it’s always harder on the phone.)