How do we (Littles) cope wiff grief?

[Guest punkinbuttprincess]

Coping mechanisms? Suggestions? I can't help but feel the pain, 100% of the time. It's not something that can be set aside... The loss of someone who played a huge role in my life. Loss of life. Anyone wiff experience in this area can talk to me?

[LittleTeacup]

You gotta cry!!!!

 

I would get upset and randomly cry if I thought about my Grandpa too hard for a few years after his passing. Emotions well up and if you try to hold them in you'll end up feeling worse.

 

If your loss is recent, you might want to take a few days without obligations and just rest and process through the feelings. Support from family and friends is also very important. Sharing grief helps.

[Guest punkinbuttprincess]

May I share here?? Is that ok? Then I could really get input that is specific to my situation ... And I do need to cry more freely about this but feel I hasta be strong too so I stop myself, as much as I can anyway

[LittleTeacup]

Yeah of course you can share here! Check the rules if that would make you more comfortable.

 

All I can say is stopping yourself from crying isn't a strength. We're not meant to be emotionless rocks. What is strong is honoring our feelings even the really sad ones.

 

As littles we must remember the wisdom of tiny children, who simply cry when they're sad and laugh when they're happy. They express their emotions fully. It's not weak.

[Guest punkinbuttprincess]

Thank you, I read the rules and feel confident this will not break em. In May, my ex husband and father of my only child was murdered. Along with his best friend who I've also known for 20 years. I've had to do A LOT of awful things, because I was his only spouse and also the mother of his only biological child as well. I don't know all the details, trial hasn't started, but I already know toooooo much. I can't handle any of it. I had to tell my son his father was dead. I cry so much. I miss him so much. I need him so much. I'm crying now, and it doesn't matter what I'm doing or how I'm feeling, the grief can strike out of nowhere. I need something to help me.... Jus... Cope better. I still have so many hard days in front of me. I am little in most of life outside of work, this affects me so much that I don't know how to explain. I've never been good wiff words

[Guest punkinbuttprincess]

And I DO has a Daddy, but he a person I cant turn to for support of any kind about this. He made me do everything by myself when my ex was killed. Funeral, and sherriffs office, and picking up ashes and death certificate. Me and my son could have really used the support. And I'm still sad he wouldn't do that for me.

[Guest punkinbuttprincess]

I can be doing anything, watching toons, playing wiff my stuffies, coloring, listening to music, having a bath, playing a game, and I'll have a thought, against my will, it jus happens, and it's like the wind is knocked out of me,and my little heart is being torn in a million pieces of soul sucking agony and I has no one to help me.

[Guest LostFox]

First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

I understand your heartache, and how it feels like your heart is in a million pieces.  While our circumstances are different, we are both experiencing the extreme pain of loss.  My Daddy died 2 weeks ago from a heart attack, and I have never felt more lost in my life.

 

I am having to get through this on my own as well.   I am married, but my husband did not know about my Daddy, so I certainly can't ask him for support.  I am taking care of funeral preparations, etc. on my own, while trying to maintain a "normal" disposition.

 

There isn't a minute that goes by that I don't think of him, and it brings me to tears.

 

I'm sorry I don't have any words of wisdom to help you through this, just know that there is another Little that is hurting right along with you.

 

Take care of you....

[Guest punkinbuttprincess]

I'm so sorry u hasta go through that!! I know how hard it is to pretend like everything's ok... U can talk to me about it, in messages for more privacy if ya wanna. Thank you for sharing, it does mean a lot to me. I wish I had more to offer except my company and condolences... Stay strong Little

[Guest LostFox]

Thank you, and likewise...I am here if you want to chat.  It will take time for both of us, but we can help each other through the hard times.

Spending a lot of time snuggling with my stuffie bunny right now...the last one my Daddy gave to me....it helps this little a little.

[LittleTeacup]

I'm so sorry for both of you!!! I can't even imagine the pain of losing someone that close at a young age. I've only lost elderly relatives.

 

Like I've said before, allowing yourself to cry and grieve is important. Keeping strong emotions like that inside can lead to health problems years later because of unresolved stress.

 

And Punkin, I think it can be even harder when a crime is involved and you can't just grieve privately. It's awful your daddy isn't giving you any support. Is he just really bad with emotions? I would ask him specifically to give you support since this is such a difficult time for you. If for some reason he just doesn't care, well I won't tell you what to do with your relationships, but I'd wonder why I'm with the guy at all. Of course, you may have good reasons, but I think it's extremely important for couples to support each other in hard times like this. You need more than internet people. Any friends who can take you out for lunch or watch a movie with you? Reach out to somebody in your life. If you have nobody, consider the parents of your son's friends. Humans aren't meant to deal with these things all alone.

[Guest punkinbuttprincess]

Ugh it really jus keeps getting worse but in response, the Daddy I couldn't turn to for support isn't my Daddy anymore anyway. So that settles that part of it. But at least I don't feel guilty for having emotions now or going to the trials when they start ....

[Guest LostFox]

Now you can focus on you and your healing.....then you can find a Daddy that will treat you right!