should i tell my bf about my preferences? do you think he might be into it? i need advice

[Guest dzidzia]

Sorry for such a long post ehehe

 

I've been a little for quite a long time, had 2 boyfriends and they were veri negative when I told them about my little space and my preferences. They said it's gross, cringy, that I should get some help and it left me really traumatized about telling anyone about my little side. I kept it as a huge secret.

I met my current boyfriend a couple months ago, I love him a lot but him not knowing about it is a huge problem for me. Our relationship would be so much better if he knew. I've never told him, I've never called him daddy directly but I think he might be into it too. 

I am so scared of telling him, for last 2 or 3 months I've been trying to see his reactions to certain things, I allowed myself to go into little space around him, to do some little things around him and see his reactions, if it was positive, negative or neutral. I've been doing it for quite a long time but I won't stop until I'm 100% sure he won't say anything negative or reject me..... 

 

But here are some things that make me feel that he might be into ddlg too:

~ i sometimes call him mom (if i can't call him daddy at least i'll call him mom and say it's for jokes...), he almost always replies "i'm not your mom, i am your dad". it makes me scream inside. 

~ he loves when i sit on his lap

~!!!!!!he calls himself daddy!!!!!!, i have no idea if it's seriouz or not, mostly when he's drunk or high, does it count??? 

~ he bought me 2 stuffies so far 

~ he spanks me a lot

~ he's into bdsm, we do rapeplay, he might be into ddlg as well

~ he often picks me up, my big self hates it but my little self loves it

~ he likes my littlespace outfits and hairstyles

~ he called me little girl exactly one time

~ i draw for him and he likes it, keeps it, it makes me feel little

~ he's a ducking weeb so chances of him being into some weird kinks like ddlg are higher, he also calls me a loli which is kinda ewww but i lowkey like that

~ he always holds my hand when he walks with me somewhere, it also makes me feel little

~ he sometimes puts blanket on me and gives me stuffie when i'm in bed falling asleep 

~ he just radiates some DD energy when i'm around him i dunno how to explain it but i feel it!!!!!! but i'm still not 100% sure

 

some of these things may not seem like ddlg things but for me they are somehow related

 

ARE THESE SOME CLEAR SIGNS

WILL IT BE SAFE TO TELL HIM nOW OR SHOULD I CONTINUE MY TESTS 

and most importantly how to tell him, how to start

if you have similar experiences please share them, would love to read it!!

 

thanks a lot for any advice (｡・//ε//・｡)

[Guest Lavendar Bunni Wubbins]

It sounds like he likes it, I'd just ask him outright one day, or call him daddy & go from there.

[Guest strawberry_milk]

yeah, i think these are some very obvious signs, haha!
i was in a similar situation with my partner. he was into bdsm and rapeplay too and i thought being a daddy could be cringy for him. he would often say he hates children, that they are annoying and so on. but some time passed and he started joking about how he feels like he is my dad. i was too embarassed to admit that i'm into ddlg, so i waited until he notices it... and one day he just asked me if i want to be his little - but it took some time.
after all, i think it would be better if you told him. i don't think you should be extra careful as he shows some daddy tendencies

[SmolAetherr]

why does this sort of thing need to be a game, if you want him to know, tell him if he rejects you then just go your seperate ways

if i was in this situation knowing i was being subjected to these things without knowledge or consent i would be upset

i would also be upset that a major part of my partner's mind lifestyles and possibly sexuality has been kept a secret

 

so what if he things its cringy, its his predujice not your, its his problem. not yours

 

keeping secret is not the way to go though.

[BabyDaisy81]

I have always been my little self bit by bit then I asked him if he knew anything about DDlg.. Freaked at first but I gave him a ton of research and he now understands its some thing that means love, trust, safe and care.. For me it’s not a game.

[Guest Looby-Lou]

You've had some horrible experiences after telling previous boyfriends about being little, so I can understand you're nervous. 

 

I don't think it sounds as if you're playing games. There's nothing wrong with cautiously investigating something or putting out feelers to see how someone responds. You've not been deceiving him, you ARE showing hints of littleness, and there's lots of things we don't completely reveal in the early stages of dating.

 

There's quite a few discussions on here about telling partners. You might find them useful (maybe someone cleverer than me can provide the links?)

 

One suggestion you might want to consider is raising the subject of DDlg without immediately saying you're into it. Say you read something about it, for example. If he seems open minded then you can start to tell him about yourself.

You already know he's not totally vanilla, so hopefully he'll at least hear you out.

 

You do take the chance that he won't be into it, or that he'll reject you. But if being little is a need for you, then you're gonna have to find out. 

Only you know how important it is to you - would you still want to be with him if he's not wiling to be a Daddy?

Either way, IMO it's best tackled sooner rather than later.

 

Good luck, let us know how you get on!

Looby