(micro)Management

[Guest Looby-Lou]

Edited January 7, 2020 by Looby-Lou

[Little kaiya]

I guess people might say Daddy and I have an element of management in our relationship because there are certainly elements of my life that Daddy has control over.

 

For us it is and isn't a 24/7 type of thing. For some things like choice of undergarments that is a 24/7 thing that Daddy controls. Exercise, sweets, bedtime, screen time, chores, movie choices are also 24/7, 365. That said there are other days where he takes full control over 80% of the decisions in a day including perfume choices, ordering for me at restaurants, etc. For us it really depends on the day, although I will say he would certainly expand things if he had his way but he respects my desire for more control on some days or in some situations.

 

It was something we waited to add for sure. We wanted to develop a strong bond of trust first and really get to know one another before exchanging so much control.

 

What do I get .... hmmm, I'd say further reinforcement of my Daddy's unconditional love. It reaffirms how much he loves me that he voluntarily wants to make those decisions for me and lift that burden, no matter how slight it may appear to be.

 

For us it's not structured per se beyond the initial conversation to set the parameters or if we need to have an adult to adult conversation to make an adjustment.

[The RealDaddyCat]

As a Daddy what I get from it is the satisfaction of helping someone else throughout their life. It doesn't necessarily need to be 24 hours a day but it can be if need be. If it helps you stay on task with what you need to get done then it makes me happy to do it for the person. The difficult part of it is if they become hard headed over it and want to refuse your help. Sometimes they don't bother to just say that they don't need the help and it is difficult to hear when they obviously still need the help.

 

Also as a dominant sometimes I feel the need for decisions to be made the other way or for the little to take care of things so I don't need too.

[Guest Looby-Lou]

I guess people might say Daddy and I have an element of management in our relationship because there are certainly elements of my life that Daddy has control over.

 

For us it is and isn't a 24/7 type of thing. For some things like choice of undergarments that is a 24/7 thing that Daddy controls. Exercise, sweets, bedtime, screen time, chores, movie choices are also 24/7, 365. That said there are other days where he takes full control over 80% of the decisions in a day including perfume choices, ordering for me at restaurants, etc. For us it really depends on the day, although I will say he would certainly expand things if he had his way but he respects my desire for more control on some days or in some situations...

 

 

 

Thanks for sharing your experiences Little kaiya. It made me feel happy, because that's the kind of set up that appeals to me. It's nice to know other people have it up and running!

 

Looby 

[Guest Looby-Lou]

As a Daddy what I get from it is the satisfaction of helping someone else throughout their life.

 

...

 

The difficult part of it is if they become hard headed over it and want to refuse your help. Sometimes they don't bother to just say that they don't need the help and it is difficult to hear when they obviously still need the help.

 

Thank you DaddyCat for explaining all this. As a little/sub, it's always interesting to hear views from the other side of the equation. So many Daddies on here just don't take part in discussions, so I particularly appreciate those who do - it helps us littles to learn more about the dynamic.

 

It must be really tough if you're helping someone and they reject that help without explaining why. Or like you say, when you can see they still need the help.

 

Thanks again,

Looby

[BabyDaisy81]

I’m a natural little and am 24/7 although I function in the real world and have a child of my own (previous relationship).. My daddy doesn’t control or manage me because I am legally an adult with adult rights and needs, he respects that.. He gives advice and guidance with my best interests at heart but I decide on my own.. I order my own food at restaurants, pick my clothes, go out by myself and stuff and the few rules we have are fairly lenient.. I am his submissive and little, I have the mentality of a three year old.. He always wants to know if I’m sick or if I’m in pain, if I’ve not been eating, if I’m neglecting my my meds and stuff, emotionally he looks after me.. He doesn’t choose my clothes or whatever although I do tend to lean towards his preferences.. He might on occasion ask for me to not wear underwear and meet him somewhere in town but that’s not often..

[Guest Looby-Lou]

I’m a natural little and am 24/7 although I function in the real world and have a child of my own (previous relationship).. My daddy doesn’t control or manage me because I am legally an adult with adult rights and needs, he respects that.. He gives advice and guidance with my best interests at heart but I decide on my own...

 

You don't want to have decisions made for you, and it's lovely that you and your Daddy have a set up that works for both of you My question was really geared towards people who do have experience with (micro)management so that I could learn more about it.

 

We are ALL adults of legal age and have to function in the mainstream world. We are all able to make our own decisions and choices. That includes some of us choosing to want or allow our partner to make decisions for us. This can range from small decisions occasionally right up to a slave situation where all control is given to the Dominant, or anything in-between.

 

Looby

(edited to correct typo)

Edited January 9, 2020 by Looby-Lou

[Guest QueenJellybean]

is it something that you do 24/7 or just in certain areas of your life/relationship? or even on just some days of the week?

for me & my Daddy, it's a 24/7, conscious choice to surrender control. previously agreed upon control, but it's over those agreed-upon things. 

 

*what do you as a little/sub get from it? what do you find difficult?

there's a release that comes from surrendering, for me. a quote that i found on Tumblr describes it best -- it's not that i make poor choices, it's that He makes better ones and we both know it. it's euphoric to know that i don't have to worry about things like choices, or decisions for a little while. 

i do find it difficult at times to let go fully -- losing that amount of control is terrifying at times. but He's patient and He always loosens those reigns gently. 

 

*what do you as a Dom get from it? what do you find difficult?

i shall ask Him. please hold: 

"I get a sense of completion, a feeling of being whole in as much of myself as I can manage. I get security, comfort, structure, and consistency. I find it harder to be someone's Dom when I get the feeling the commitment or faith just isn't there from the other party. The less I feel, the less I am comfortable with."
 

*do you prefer to introduce management early in the relationship or only after establishing a deep bond in other ways?

only after establishing a deep bond. i believe it takes a lot of trust to put that much of yourself into someone's hands, or to take someone's life into your hands. 

 

*do you ever want to give or receive management on an “ad hoc” basis i.e. to help you through a difficult day (which could be for the Dom or sub’s needs). Or is it generally more structured?

that's literally how my Daddy & i got started.

i used to ask Him to instruct me on getting to sleep at a reasonable time. 

it's now a lot more structured, but i definitely think that's a valid style. 

[Guest Ninny689]

We definitely use 24/7 management - i’ve found it incredibly helpful - have formed much better habits over time because of it - and, it has it’s own natural progression - so, when something becomes a habit, Daddy pulls back a little and we focus on other areas that might need help - coffee will always need to be controlled - lol - only one cup, nothing past 1:00pm - but, other things like making sure to get 8 hours of sleep.. Daddy doesn’t have to monitor it as closely now bc i just do it naturally now

[DaddysPrettyPrincess]

My daddy and I also use 24/7 type "management" I guess you could say, I feel this is best for me because I find myself getting overly stressed and anxious if I feel like I have to make certain decisions, I find it helps me manage my work and life a BILLIONNNN times better, I also enjoy allowing my daddy to have that type of power over me and my day, the super sub in me lovesss it. I feel a lot more organised when I have my daddy there to help and I find that over time I feel less stressed out in more "adult" situations, I feel in control of my thoughts and like I can truly make the right call in whatever situation if I'm tasked with it. 

 

I personally would only do this if I had a deep bond with someone just for the fact that to me managing things in my life is very intimate, I let my daddy control a lot in my life, for instance he has to say that even though I really wanted to go to the late night get together with my friends that I need to stay in because Ive had a rough day and that it would be better if I spent the night relaxing and focusing on doing good stuff for me, or that I can go but I must be home earlier than what I had planned so I can get more rest because I have an early start to my day tomorrow. Although I make the right decision with these things most of the time sometimes I don't always focus on me and that would be where my daddy would step in, for me I just wouldn't be comfortable doing this in a new relationship though it may not be that way for everyone.

 

Although our relationship is typically structured sometimes I may need advice on a certain problem that just arose and my daddy would typically step in there too.

 

All in all, I love allowing him to control my day and he makes sure I always agree with the final decision if its something important, I think thats the most important thing is that you feel comfortable, exchanging power definitely isn't for every couple. 

[BabyDaisy81]

You don't want to have decisions made for you, and it's lovely that you and your Daddy have a set up that works for both of you My question was really geared towards people who do have experience with (micro)management so that I could learn more about it.

 

We are ALL adults of legal age and have to function in the mainstream world. We are all able to make our own decisions and choices. That includes some of us choosing to want or allow our partner to make decisions for us. This can range from small decisions occasionally right up to a slave situation where all control is given to the Dominant, or anything in-between.

 

Looby

(edited to correct typo)

 

Okay.. Actually he insisted on not being a controlling Daddy because I've come out of an abusive relationship so he's being über lenient and kind of encourages me to be willful.. 

[Guest Looby-Lou]

My daddy and I also use 24/7 type "management" I guess you could say, I feel this is best for me because I find myself getting overly stressed and anxious if I feel like I have to make certain decisions, I find it helps me manage my work and life a BILLIONNNN times better, I also enjoy allowing my daddy to have that type of power over me and my day, the super sub in me lovesss it. ...

 

I personally would only do this if I had a deep bond with someone just for the fact that to me managing things in my life is very intimate ...

Thanks for your full answer.

 

I get overly stressed/anxious especially when I'm tired, and I'm sure management would help me! And I'm attracted to just letting someone have that power over me, like you said.

 

I agree with your thought about it being intimate. I'd like to believe that someone had taken the time to get to know me very well - otherwise how could they truly know what was best for me? So start off with simple management in the early days (like which dress to wear) and progress to something deeper is what I'd like.

 

Thanks again for sharing your experiences & thoughts, I enjoyed reading it and you helped me.

Looby

[Guest Looby-Lou]

Okay.. Actually he insisted on not being a controlling Daddy because I've come out of an abusive relationship so he's being über lenient and kind of encourages me to be willful.. 

 

This is what it's all about - finding someone who will do what is best for YOU. I'm glad you've found that and have a healthy relationship. 

 

Looby

[Guest Relentlessoptimist]

For one of my littles she does a high stress job mainly because there are so many co-workers that are inexperienced that she helps. And so for stress relief she wants someone else to to make some decisions for her. Even if she then would have to go exercise, her mind doesn't have to make that choice and she finds relief from it.

 

As well, having an outside person to be responsible to and that keeps you on task helps some people. Some daddy's might micromanage more than others, but I imagine good daddies also help their littles manage their lives better and get the things done that would be good for them, (homework, excercise, work, etc).

 

Personally I love the control but I want my littles to thrive and get a bit better every day. 1% gains rather than perfection is what I want as I am helping them build stronger habits.