Talking to people about ddlg

[Guest Teddy]

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[fluffycity]

I think if you're struggling to find someone to speak to (or you're not sure how a friend would react but want to try), you could try curating your description of the lifestyle a little bit.

 

Like, instead of getting right into the fact that it's under the BDSM umbrella, you can start with the relationship dynamic (someone who gushingly cares, someone who's gushingly cared for - just an example!) and name roles.

 

This Wikipedia page is a good starting point for observing some of the more mainstream aspects of ddlg - diminutive speech - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_talk

 

None of that is a substitute for finding someone you trust fully to talk to fully about it, but it's one option if you want to approach a friend. My 2c ...

[MellyBoo19912015]

I have a friend I talk to, she's more a big sister. She's a little too buy doesn't have a daddy. But we both do the typical sisterly boy talk etc. I think friends can be invaluable for talking and listening.

[Guest Teddy]

I think if you're struggling to find someone to speak to (or you're not sure how a friend would react but want to try), you could try curating your description of the lifestyle a little bit.

 

Like, instead of getting right into the fact that it's under the BDSM umbrella, you can start with the relationship dynamic (someone who gushingly cares, someone who's gushingly cared for - just an example!) and name roles.

 

This Wikipedia page is a good starting point for observing some of the more mainstream aspects of ddlg - diminutive speech - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_talk

 

None of that is a substitute for finding someone you trust fully to talk to fully about it, but it's one option if you want to approach a friend. My 2c ...

Thanks so much for the reply but that's not actually the reason I started this post I literally just wondered if other people had someone to talk to about it

[Guest buddhagirl]

I haven't told anyone for a variety of reasons. But I have people I could tell that would be supportive. Plus, it's fun having this special secret with Daddy!

[daddyhugs]

For me it was important to have my closest friends know about my lifestyle.  That way, I can explain more about it in a rational way...other than having them find out about it later and have it look like I was hiding something.  If you can;t trust your friends with this information than the level of that friendship may need to be evaluated.

[macabremode]

I'm actually pretty open about my ddlg relationship style even with outside vanillas, if my dom's okay with it I use toddler talk around him, and he's actually put me in timeout when we were with friends once. 

 

Because of this I was actually able to stumble upon a few others by chance, one other little, a switch who's mainly a little and is my BEST friend, and a dom. 

 

Of course not everyone is as comfortable with this, and there are a few ways to casually display yourself in ways vanillas probably won't understand. Sometimes in public I wear ribbon day collars with kitty bells, occasionally kitty ears if I'm having that kind of day, and some children's clothing - if you're into that. Of course this will probably seem very odd to do in public and not many people are very comfortable with it. For that reason we have websites like this to be open anonymously! I think just a few days ago a thread about penpal littles was posted in the Little Space section (I'd attach it, but honestly I'm still pretty new to this website and I have no idea how to do that). Also there are many ddlg communities on tumblr that are very accepting if you'd like to go that route!

[forest fairy]

I haven't told any of my friends, but a few know we're in some kind of D/s situation. 

[DaddyJsPrincess]

The people I work with know that I call my partner Daddy and that's about as far as it goes. I don't work with the public and they don't know any details, so I'm not worried about a bad reputation or anything. I kind of wish I had some IRL friends nearby to talk about it freely though. I don't really want to be part of the kink community though :/

[BodicainDaddy]

I am lucky in that wider friend group is pretty sex-positive and one can discuss such things with relative ease. My usual advice for talking about sexual mores is to maintain an air of academic detachment, to structure the conversation and allow people to get involved with anecdotes and such in an impersonal way, so no one feels they are compromising their own security.

 

I have found that once you've "outed" talk about sex, in a grown up manner, to your friends it can rapidly become a greater part of your conversations, as practically speaking the majority of us are thinking about sex at least some of the time, those of us in the western world live in a rather sexualised society, but there are relatively limited rules about talking about it in anything other than cloying bragging or censorious terms.

 

This does provide the opportunity for you, if you choose to be the person to push sex talk into the open with your friends, to set the tone.

 

Example:
A: "Well, as far as I am aware, ageplay is generally speaking a derivative of the 'master-sub' relationship one tends to automatically associate with BDSM behaviour, but the focus is on the rather softer power relationship between a caregiving adult and a child."

 

B: "That does have unfortunate connotations of paedophilia and incest."

 

A: "That is true, and one can't discount the potential of such concepts to be part of the spice in such a relationship, or be some part of the desires of those involved, but the focus appears to largely be on the "power" the adult player - the Daddy, say - has over the child - a daughter - in terms of things one could easily imagine more 'leather and latex' BDSM style behaviour, control of clothing, sensory input and such, but with the clothing being pink with frills, or diapers, and the sensory input being allowing colouring time, or providing soft toys."

 

B: "I suppose on the part of the person playing the child there is also the removal of the burden of adult responsibility, and the lack of shame in expressing emotions purely - children can just scream, cry or laugh as the mood takes them."

 

A: "Exactly, it's a freedom - and the dominant partner therefore gets a differing experience also, instead of being concerned with the repression (perhaps 'breaking') of a fully functional adult into a submissive mould, they are presented with a developing not-yet-person, with different standards of behaviour and therefore a greater range of potential areas to concentrate on controlling."

 

And so forth.

[Lisa]

No, I am a generally private person.

[Michael]

I keep it private because ddlg is too easy for other people to misunderstand.