Little bit lost on where/how to meet people

[CuriousKitty]

Hi! I’m pretty new to all of this. My ex and I had started talking about trying DD/lg before our divorce and I was really excited because it sounds like something I’ve been searching for without realizing it my whole life. Sadly, like many other aspects of our marriage, nothing ever came of it but talk. So now I’m free and trying to learn and discover this world yet I’m doing it completely on my own, which is both exciting and terrifying. I’m so grateful to have found this community, the more I read the more I’m seeing myself and others like me in this forum! I’ve never had the opportunity to explore kink, BDSM or much of anything beyond vanilla/mainstream other than in erotic fiction which I have DEVOURED for years. Not that 50 shades crap either, the really good authors.

 

Problem is I live in a small, conservative town in Texas. I have a job that I LOVE that pays the bills but where the stigma could really hurt me so I have to keep things on the DL. I’m also 36 so struggling with the “I’m too old to be so new to this, is anybody going to want me?” Feelings but that’s a whole other issue. I certainly love this forum and plan to keep reading and posting, but I’m curious what are some other spaces y’all go to meet/connect with/talk to folks. I’m pretty sure with my situation it’s likely going to be online communities for a while. I’m not opposed to in person at all and definitely would love to have real world experiences, but I’m pragmatic enough to realize that with my situation online first is my best bet to connect.

 

I’ve heard of FetLife but have not signed up. I checked the social media section here, but I’m looking for more honest reviews/feedback on where to go. I’m sensitive to the fact that being a woman I don’t want to set myself up for an unsafe situation.

 

I tried one site but so far it feels more like online dating with a paywall (and honestly a little predatory). I accept that every community, especially online, has its creeps/predators, but I don’t want in my ignorance to be like a lamb walking into a lion’s den, you know?

[Guest Relentlessoptimist]

This place has been wonderful to me for making new friends. I recommend hopping into the chat room every once in a while and interacting w people saying hi. I have made atleast 3 friendships with people I can see having deep life long friendships.with.

 

Just, be a bit visible, say hi, go past the awkward interactions ignore the bad people and keep looking fill you find your group.

 

Also, you are not too old. This is part of who you are, and if having this be part of your life would set your soul on fire then be relentless and look for it.

 

Best wishes and be well. Add me as a friend I'd you want to talk more and message me.

 

Merry Christmas and a happy new year.

[LittleGirlEmilia]

 I’m also 36 so struggling with the “I’m too old to be so new to this, is anybody going to want me?” Feelings but that’s a whole other issue.

 

 

No, you are never too old to understand new things about yourself. I like to think that life is always about learning and evolving yourself. Don't worry about if people are going to want you, you'll get to the point where you're comfortable and you'll find that ideal partner for you. Now onto your actual question haha, sorry I just wanted to address that part first.

 

I’ve heard of FetLife but have not signed up. I checked the social media section here, but I’m looking for more honest reviews/feedback on where to go. I’m sensitive to the fact that being a woman I don’t want to set myself up for an unsafe situation.

 

So, I have a Fetlife, but I don't use it as a way to make friends online. It's more of use to see what events and meets are nearby. Workshops are amazing, if there are any workshops around you I would recommend going. Munches and events I would recommend to bring a friend you trust. I think it would do you some good to sign up for Fet so you can see what's around you. You might not be as alone as you think.

 

The chat room, personal section, friend zone section and social media are all good places on here to make friends. I have friends on here that I've known nearly 4 years and they're gonna be friends for life.

 

Tinder, OkCupid and Plentyoffish are good too, you never know who's into what. I assumed my daddy was vanilla when we first spoke on a mainstream dating site.... Nahp. Very much not vanilla.

 

My IRL circle of friends are into kink in some way or another, they've just appeared naturally over the course of my life. Maybe my country is stupidly kinky though. Something in the water perhaps. Feel free to message me if you have any questions, or anything I could help with.

[Guest Sunshinekitty]

I'm 44. Never too old. I'm only on here to chat with people and learn more. Then again, I'm not interested in dating--I'm married to my CG.

 

But I thought I'd throw in a word about age not really being a barrier except in your own head. Take it slow, and you'll find what you need even if it's inside yourself.

[Little kaiya]

[junebug0325]

Hi there!

 

This is a great place to make new friends and find people with similar interests, experiences, and situations. This forum is also where I found my Daddy and we recently just moved in together.

 

As for finding irl people you can meet with is still a little challenging for me, but I typically tend to find those people on Fetlife. There's a local dungeon that I follow and also little munches that happen in my city. 

 

 

 

Junebug xxx