need some love I guess

[zanderandspike]

so just for some backstory, I've been acidentally regressing to about 3-5 sense I was 16, and mostly it was just me feeling small and being scared, and I couldn't always choose when I was small it would just happen and it was mostly at night, then I figured out I could play with my childhood toys which helped but then I would cry because I felt too old to be doing that, then a friend kept jokingly calling me 'Daddy' then he and I dated and we tried it out more, and it felt right and then him being little was fantastic, we broke up cause he didn't unerstand my need for space, then afterwards I relised that I was a little... Then thew out the latter half of last year and the fist half of this year I've worked on my little space to make it not so scary and make it something I could choose to do or not to do, so I would have the choice to regress or not,

 

and I'm not sure how important it is, but I'm a switch and my last three relationships went like a) my then daddy and little boy left me for another little who we had agreed to go into a three way relationship with, then he basicly said he didn't love me cause I didn't do sexual stuff    b ) my little who decided one day they didn't want to do long distance and lied to me about their age so I back tracked so fast and c) my little/CG who after about three months of talking ghosted me for two months(they had a valid rason but it still really hurt)

 

after all that I kinda stopped regressing? that with the combanation of not being stressed enough to need it kinda just ended it for me, I didn't feel the need/urge to and I tried but I never felt fully little, like I wasn't actually little just acting like it, and my CG side just stopped? like I didn't feel like it anymore it was too much effort for no pay off? idk how to describe it sorry

 

fast forward to now, and I started my first job last week and instantly needed to be small again, which seems great like yay it's back and I feel it again, however, I'm back to where I started with regression? It feels scary and I feel lost and last night when I regressed I just cried for a couple of hours cause I was tiny and alone?

 

I don't know what to do to get my little side back to being like ok and I need help? I'm not sure how to ask what I need to know though? I just feel super gross for needing to be a child, like I'm an adult I shouldn't be wanting so many stuffed animals, right...? 

 

I'm just lost and could use some reassurance that it's ok to be a little I guess...

 

sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense and for spelling/gramer mistakes 

 

edit: I put in the info about my romance life because I'm not sure if that had an impact on my little side or not or if anyone can tell?, sorry

Edited December 11, 2019 by zanderandspike

[LittleTeacup]

Hey, it's ok Life can be confusing.

 

There's absolutely nothing wrong with craving comfort (which is why I think you want so many stuffies). It's a natural part of being human and anyone who tries to shame you over it is flat out wrong. In fact, those people probably need comfort too but they're suppressing it.

[Pwincess Nikki]

I know what you went trough I went trough it too ❤ 

[princess cotton grass]

my little side wavers too! i think it's ok to not always be small. please don't feel like you need to force yourself to act little/cg. anyone in a relationship with you who is half decent should accept the fact that you are not always in the mood but you will try to be their to support them when they are in little/cg space

 

also, please don't feel gross! i totally empathise with you, as i think most members of this stigmatized community do. being little is a very safe and healthy way for many people to relax and deal with hard times. it is also a common antidote for those suffering from trauma, so perhaps look into your own past and find the root of your regression (this is not the case for everyone)

 

[Guest Relentlessoptimist]

Hi zander, I'm sorry tou are going through such a tough time. I'm not a little but I had issues w accepting my daddy side recently at which time I made peace with it. A big part of the process of growth that we can go through is accepting who we are deep down. And this is who you are, and its beautiful. You dont have to be ashamed, it's not gross, it's just a bit different from what vanilla world is used to. But it makes you happy when you are able to express it in a safe environment once you have a good loving daddy.

 

I'm sorry you've had such a tough time. That wasnt your fault. You are loveable and lovely just as you are. And when you can try to accept this side of yourself. Its who you are deep down and when you can finally be that, I think you will feel fulfilled, just like I do and did when I accepted myself. Hugs and best wishes.

[MysticSand]

I think you should try to make other Little friends; reach out to other Littles on here! That could help to normalize it for you and to help you realize that you're not going through the struggle with identity alone.

 

I would suggest to stay away from looking for a CG/mommy/daddy atm because you're exploring acceptance for yourself and that shouldn't involve another's affirmation of your identity.

 

In terms of stigma and the silly idea that stuffies aren't on the agenda for living a 'normal' adult life, my personal opinion is if it doesn't interfere with your ability to function and do what you need to do in life, then there's no need for concern. Do and act however makes you happy. That's your right!

[zanderandspike]

thank you everyone for replying that really means a lot <3

 

I'm not ashamed of being little, well not all the time at least

 

I've been threw a lot of trama, and didn't really have a safe childhood so I know why I regress I just sometimes feel weak for regressing, and it scares me that I can't control it...

 

I halfway regressed thursday night and it went well, I haven't entered a fully regressed state sense the other night where I just cried so I think I'm doing better 

 

it was very helpful to get that off my chest and read all the replies, thank you all <3