Is he into being called daddy/ddlg? What are some signs?

[TheAnonGoth]

I don’t know if this is the right place to post this. I’m new. Hopefully he doesn’t find this post somehow, lol.

 

So I’ve known my boyfriend since we were 15. Long story short I left his life for a while, and we met again at 18. I’m 19 now.

 

I really want to call him daddy. I just don’t know how or know if he’d even like it.

 

We’re long distance. He’s a marine.

 

Some things that make me question:

 

He calls me babygirl, princess, good girl, naughty girl, little girl, his little ____(whatever we’re talking about).

 

He’d always called me babygirl. Sometimes princess. But the little and good/naughty girl started up more here recently. That was enough to make me question it more. But I don’t know if it’s just wishful thinking.

 

Then last night he sent me a meme about when she calls you _____ instead of daddy. Don’t know if it was just a joke and making fun of it or if it was a hint.

 

Shortly after I joked and called him the thing it said you call him instead of daddy in the meme. Just jokes and we laugh and make fun of it. Then I called him daddy after. I said, “okay daddy”. He told me he wants me to come sit in daddy’s lap. But there were laughing emojis. Soo..joke?

 

There hasn’t really been anything about it today. Just told me be a good girl.

 

I called him daddy long ago, but there was no reaction, so I stopped and never did again until last night.

 

I’m afraid to do anything, don’t know how to tell him or if I even should. I’d like to figure out if he’s into it or not before he deploys. The end of the month.

 

Do you think he’s into it based on what I’ve said? Are there certain signs I can look out for? How can I subtly hint to him? I’ve been thinking about this for a long while. Wish I could call him it.

[Guest Looby-Lou]

It sounds like you've thought this through very sensibly, and IMO no it's just not wishful thinking - because he's used the Daddy word with you already.

BUT it might not mean what you hope it means.

 

When he says "be a good girl" etc., could you respond with "I love it when you say that" or even (if you're not too nervous) "I love that, it makes me feel like your little girl", or something similar. 

Or if the Daddy word comes up you could ask him "so do you like it if I call you Daddy?"

 

It's not clear from your post if you're talking on the phone or just texting. Sometimes the tone of voice can tell you a lot. The jokey emojis could go either way. Yes, it could say "I'm only joking". Or it could say "I'm making light of this just in case you don't feel the same as me". 

 

From what you explained, it sounds like the conversation might develop naturally and give you some answers one way or the other.

Good luck - let us know what happens

 

Looby 

 

 

 

[princess mae]

I agree..I've always thought that half the time, what people are saying when they're joking is actually true. They say they're joking so that they can say what they really think without being vulnerable.

 

I agree with Looby here as well, responding positively to his pet names would probably be the best place to start. If you're pressed for time and you want to find out before he's deployed, you could just ask him outright. Something along the lines of "Look, I know we joke a lot about the Daddy/princess stuff, but it's actually something I enjoy and I want to know if you do too.." He will either appreciate that you were brave and put yourself out there, allowing you both room to grow, or he will tell you he wasn't serious. Go with your gut.

[Guest Sunshinekitty]

I wouldn't "hint" at anything. Hinting always leads to miscommunications and hurt feelings.

 

I agree with Looby and Mae--and I think that telling him that his nicknames make you feel all warm and fuzzy--and if he tells you to be a good girl, ask him how he wants you to do that.

 

I'm not saying you have to go all in, full force--"You're my daddy, now!" But depending on your little age, you could even go so far as to send him a cute pic of you in pigtails and a onesie, or whatever you think might get him to understand where you are at.

 

Or ask him to get you a stuffie with his scent so you have something to cuddle when you think of him. Or a coloring book that you can send him pages out of while he's away. (Ok, I might be fond of coloring books...anyhoo...)

 

If you're a writer, you can write him a sexy story with an ageplay theme--using yourself and him as the characters.

 

And you can also stop joking around about how you feel about this. The more you joke when he does that, the more it will confuse the issue, your feelings, and your communication with him. I'm not saying you shouldn't be playful, but if you mean something--stand behind it and mean it.

 

Our partners aren't mind readers. It's okay to say how we feel and be vulnerable about what we want. It doesn't mean he will reciprocate, but it does mean that you can both be on the same page, and he can think about just how far he wants to explore this with you.

 

I'd also ask him about his fantasies and desires--because that will lead to better understanding, compromise...and yes, reciprocation.

 

I hope this helps.

[Honeydadddy]

The first time I was called daddy by a little I was a bit confused and perhaps didn’t fully understand the intention of the term at the time. My understanding of her intentions took awhile, because I didn’t have much exposure to the ddlg relationship dynamic and I also didn’t really understand the needs of the little either. Being honest, the first time she called me daddy I was a little freaked out, but it quickly became a term that felt endearing and ultimately became an important part of my identity. This evolution for me, happened alongside lots of communication with my little that progressed as she felt more comfortable to share her desires with me and I started to understand how the ddlg dynamic connected to our relationship in ways that felt authentic. Consider that the dynamic that you have with him will be unique to the two of you and that you are an agent in shaping how it looks. Also consider that you will be more fulfilled in a relationship when you ask for what you want and invite your partner to explore it with you. One way to start might be telling him that you like it when he calls you “princess” or “good little girl,” etc (like a lot) and that it makes you want to call him daddy. Then you could see what he says. If he doesn’t say anything, then ask him if he likes it. Be prepared that he might not be sure right now. It might take him a while to do some personal exploration. If he doesn’t feel prepared for you to use the term daddy, maybe the two of you could come up with a different name to use for now.

[Guest Relentlessoptimist]

His terminology seems like he might be open to it. If you want take it slow. You can always off the cuff asked hom (came across this group, people seem nice. I'm drawn to it (or some version of what do you think - sneakily.

 

The real jump off point comes when ite not anconversation about sex. When you tell him (this is who I am, this is who I want to be, this is what I want in my life.) And that will be a leap of faith. Being a marine he is more likely to be a dominant and he seems sweet and caring (you know best). But daddy doms seem to be in my almost no experience just extrapolating from who i am, caring, nurturing, protective and loving. If he has those features, he would make a good daddy, and you should ask him.

 

And either he is good with it or not. And either you will be okay with that or not. And if it doesnt work out, if your deep core needs arent being met then find someone who fulfills them. It's a journey if discovery. Be brave, love who you are, and often people will surprise you that they will love you back too.

[Guest ~GlitterUnicorn~]

I would honestly just have a conversation with him about it and explain what the word means to you

While he may have a different definition/view it differently I'm pretty sure he wouldn't take the conversation badly based on the above