Caregiving to those who aren't your little

[D&Daddy]

This is a question to caregivers who find themselves 'caring' I guess is the word for it, without necessarily meaning to, for a little who isn't actually their little. For example you talk to or spend time with a little and find that you're checking on them to make sure they go to bed at a good time, make sure they're feeling safe and being healthy, things like that without either of you actually agreeing to such a thing. (Note: Not saying it's forced upon the little, it's received well too and just seems to happen as part of natural conversation).

 

My question to caregivers would be: Do you find yourselves in this situation? If so how comfortable are you with this? Do you prefer to only care for your little, or if you don't have one, to wait until you find your little? And thoughts along that line.

 

Similar questions to littles too on the other side: Do you find yourselves on the receiving end of this situation (willingly I'm not talking about people trying to force it on you)? If so how comfortable are you with this? Do you prefer to only be cared for by your caregiver, or to wait if you don't have one? And again, thoughts along that line.

 

Thanks

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

My Caregiver is my Dom so I'd have serious issues with another CG trying to "Care" for me because in my particular dynamic...thats my Doms role and therefore said CG would be intruding on my Dominants position - which is obviously not cool. I've been in this situation with (mostly) very well meaning CGs and have explained that I am not open to that type of thing and most have apologized/backed off. Theres obviously the douchey ones too who think that since you're a sub that you're free game to any "Dom/me" but thats a whole other can of worms.  I think if you know that a Little has a DD or a MD - Its basic respect to be mindful how you interact with them. If a Littles dynamic allows for that kinda thing or they're without a CG and open/happy with this kind of communication - then go forth and wreck havoc but for me personally, I'd be quick to remind the CG that I have a DD and I don't welcome that kind of interaction. 

 

As for the Dominant perspective - I can only say that my Dom is a one Little kinda guy and doesn't communicate with other Littles/subs - again it's a dynamic thing. From conversations we've had about this subject I gather that caring for me is quite enough for him because quite frankly.. I'm a handful. Also, I would find my Daddy interacting with another Little like that to be extremely disrespectful to me because we are supposed to be committed to each other only and another Littles status or business doesnt concern him because he is not their Dom. That's another thing that I think should come into this if you do have a Little - What would they think about you sharing that side of yourself with another Little?

 

TL;DR

If your particular dynamic allows for you to interact with littles this way then all the power to you,  If it doesnt you need to be mindful how you are interacting with other littles within the community. It may seem harmless or Natural to you but they or their CG may take serious offense to it. If they're sans CG and welcome this interaction then again - Go forth but always, ALWAYS be respectful. Again, It may come naturally to you but to some (like me) it's crossing a line and unwelcome. 

[Kosmosis Jones]

Of course I find myself in this situation. But not only with littles. With anyone that is a friend. Part of being a caregiver is caring. You want the best for the people you deem important. You will find yourself checking up on them, making sure they are in good health, and all is going well. The closer you are to the person in question the more specific you can be with your care. If you know someone is sick, you are naturally going to check on if they are feeling better, have they been taking proper medications or other steps towards recovery, are they eating and drinking enough and all that.  So I say that yes, I am indeed comfortable with this kind of situation. I am their friend and it's part of the package, I look out for my friends, and if they need something that I can provide I do it for them. I've made many personal sticker charts to help littles track and develop new good habits, I've ordered food delivery for friends out of state so I knew they were eating. Hosted movie nights, and story readings. These are things I enjoy doing, and don't mind sharing the experience with others while I do it. 

Edited December 1, 2019 by soahK kimsoK

[D&Daddy]

Thanks for the responses.

 

@Lil Miss Dolly

Sorry I should have clarified: I am speaking strictly outside of any relationships. If either person were already in a relationship then that kind of thing should strictly be on a 'only if the partner/s know and are fine with it' basis. As you say about your dom though, I expect that if I had a little to be caring for then that would be enough for me, it's likely only something that's manifesting because of not having someone in particular to give my care too.

 

@soahK kimsoK

I get what you're saying. There's probably a line somewhere between the kind of caring you have for a friend or family and the kind you have for a little. Actually the two probably cross over depending on the person (especially if it's a friend who is a little). I guess the important part is the thoughts and motivation behind your actions for what would be justifiable friendliness and what would be over the line.

[LittleGirlEmilia]

I find it extremely creepy and it makes me feel uncomfortable when a dom tries to do this to me. My first reaction is, you're not my daddy. It's different when it's just friends caring about each others wellbeing, but there's a line that just shouldn't be crossed. I don't give the daddy title away so easily and it means something special to me, I feel that only my daddy can give care to me. However, I'm quite self sufficient when by myself and this is entirely my opinion.

[Guest Looby-Lou]

IMO if the two people involved are both comfortable with this caring interaction, then it's totally ok. But I think it can be tricky. I'd suggest you discuss boundaries and also be open about a) what you can give and b ) what you want to achieve, from the connection. (both of you should be open about this)

 

My personal concern would be that most littles and most CGs probably wouldn't want or need this IF they were in a DDlg relationship already. And most littles & CGs want a relationship. 

So I'd say "proceed with caution". Because it's fairly likely that both parties are only enjoying and benefiting from this care interaction because you're both single and it's filing some of your needs until you meet someone else. That's why I've never let myself get involved in this way, however tempting it was when I was lonely. Unless I was interested in the person as MY DaddyDom, then I didn't want any DD activity from them.

 

Maybe ask yourself:

Are you possibly interested in this person being your little?

 

What happens if one of you wants the care to develop into a full relationship and the other one doesn't?

 

What happens if one of you finds another little or CG that you DO want a relationship with? Suddenly being dropped would possibly be very hurtful for either of you.

 

If you want a relationship, would this care interaction you already have get in the way of you meeting a little for yourself? If I was looking for a Daddy, I wouldn't like it if a prospective Daddy was involved with another little already.

 

You have a lot of care and love to give. There are risks to any type of relationship. If a "friendly" CG role works for you and the little - for however long you both want/need it - then that's great. So long as you both know what you're doing.

 

Looby 

 

edited to remove weird emoji !!

Edited December 1, 2019 by Looby-Lou

[Guest Relentlessoptimist]

In vanilla life i've done that with friends. Not so much as caregiving as just listening to them and being supportive of them. 

 

That being said, I approched a single little wanting to just say hi and make a friend since i'm new here. I told her i was married and she stopped talking to me right away. I imagine she must've had bad experiences so i can't blame her. I am not sure how that dynamic works yet between daddy's/mommy's, (single or in relationships), and talking to littles and maybe caregiving to them later. 

Seems possible that it's treated more like dating rather than a platonic friendship, so i'm going to be more hesitant to reach out to others for a while. I am not owed anything, and i don't owe anybody anything. 

 

Although i'm a new member i was walking past frozen - elsa/anna stickers and other things and it made my heart leap. I wish i could give that to someone. 

 

Relationships can't be forced. And unless there is some natural progression (you ask that person out, or just develop a relationship naturally) then i imagine it'll be very hard to care for others till that relationship develops. I imagine part of that is due to trauma and hesitancy that everybody has because people are tired of having their heart hurt by others. 

 

I wish you all the best.  

[DragonAllFather]

Well, I have little friend at a long distance, and while I send her cuddles when needed, I don't give her rules nor anything outside what a friend would do. I do help her remember stuff when she asks me to do so, but nothing else since we are just friends. So I just talk to her, help her as much as I can and only give her suggestions or opinions. 

[Lilith-Lynn-Lupin]

I am a very new little. Just learning about this community. I am married and while my husband has not put a label together, he also does not act weird when he comes home to me coloring while watching Disney sing alongs, two of my favorite things. I am trying to do more little stuff around him, but I know while he may not mind me being little, he will not want to be a Daddy. When I have learned more about the dynamics of a community I will be looking for something similar to what you are describing. A friend that will help care for me. I think with your children it takes a village, so why can’t it with a little? Again I am not trying to step on any toes, but I am new.

[Guest Minister Judas]

I've found myself in said situations constantly. Being a caregiver is like my 2nd nature at this point. I wouldn't say it makes me uncomfortable, though I do get wary if I do it for too long or it becomes too much of an ingrained habit because that could implicate some attachment I may not have or lead to a potential dependency on my care giving. I'm nondiscriminatory normally, which has caused trouble in the past, but I don't dislike it. I would do it for almost anyone, but I prefer to keep it to a select few, the ones I AM attached to, like my little baby bat. I love being a caregiver in so many ways.

 

Let it be known, though, that I will not do it for someone else's little if they have not given me permission and it's understood that it's platonic in every way. I do not ever want to step on someone's toes.

[Nameless]

I'm not sure where the limit would be before it's creepy, but I do find myself being what some what consider "Daddy-esque" toward friends or other people in general, though very laid back. I just naturally fall into that care giving, management "parent" role. Also with my friends I'm usually the one to slow things down a bit when they're getting out of hand, or making sure everyone is ok.

 

I've had an employee of mine even tell me I sounded exactly like her dad did, so *shrug*