pet play and brat taming

[leecey_lou]

okay so, i'm very comfortable and etc. with little space etc. and most of ddlg concepts however, after a long break i have a new potential relationship on the horizon however he shared with me that he is most interested in pet play and brat taming... i personally have never been with someone who was interested in either so if anybody can give me some advice on what to expect and etc. i would appreciate it 

[Guest Aastyra]

I'm not too experienced with pet play, so I'll just weigh in on the brat taming part.

 

Basically, if he's into brat taming, it means he enjoys disobedience to a certain extent (generally, how much disobedience people enjoy varies). He will likely enjoy it if you talk back, deliberately disobey his requests, and generally have an attitude or a sense of defiant independence.

 

A lot of the time, the brat tamer enjoys exercising their power over the brat in order to discipline or reassert themselves as the dominant partner in the relationship. There's a sort of back-and-forth between you two that often involves teasing, taunting and a number of different ways of getting under each other's skin.

 

Depending on his preference, he might also enjoy it if you go "too far," as this will provide grounds for assigning you some sort of funishment (or even legitimate punishment). If this is the case, make sure you discuss what this might actually mean before you get into it. Always communicate beforehand.

Edited November 23, 2019 by Aastyra

[Guest QueenJellybean]

these might be helpful threads to check out:

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/7065-i-need-someone-to-explain-brat-taming/?hl=brat+taming

 

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/11032-types-of-littles/

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12349-obedience-training/?hl=brats&do=findComment&comment=222830

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/35992-brat-tamers/?hl=brats

[Honeydadddy]

Hiya! 

 

My babygirl definitely has a bratty side and enjoys being treated like a pet.  I found this article helpful in understanding her: https://www.autostraddle.com/im-a-submissive-brat-387557/ In particular, this section:

"In truth, being a brat makes me feel more in touch with my submission, and wrangling a brat strengthens my partner’s sense of dominance. I know that they’ll signal immediately if my antics cross over from amusing to annoying.

If I’m honest, it’s a fine line and requires a lot of communication on all ends. Dominants are people too, and just like everyone else, their patience has an end. It’s important to establish limits and be aware of any triggering behaviors that should be avoided. Before a scene, my dominant and I discuss our expectations, our moods, and anything else that might be relevant before we get started. I can tell from a look when they are not in the mood for my shenanigans, and they can tell from my tone when I’m legitimately upset versus baiting them. We don’t use spanking as a real punishment in our dynamic, so I know if they give one it’s because they’re participating in the scene, and not out of anger.

I used to think of service-oriented submission as household chores and errands, but lately I’ve begun viewing brattiness as its own kind of service. After all, our “creative disobedience” forces dominants to stay on their toes and is done with the intention of helping them improve their techniques."

 

If you enjoy being submissive, as the article suggests, you might consider brattiness as a kind of service and find a playful way to explore it with your potential partner.

 

Pet play has many different branches, but generally involves deep submission by way of obedience and often involves forms of erotic humiliation. 

 

Generally, it sounds like your prospective partner might be seeking to feel dominant through enforcement of boundaries, requiring that you are submissive, and potentially disciplining you with impact and humiliation.  It might be good for you to check in on where your boundaries are with submission and humiliation and make sure that you are taken care of in the ways that you need before, during and afterwards. While it is important that you are open to your prospective partner's needs, my personal experience is that these dynamics typically develop after our other needs are met in the relationship. In other words brat-taming and pet play are often more rewarding for both parties when the relationship is grounded in trusting consent.  We all know this takes time to develop. :-)

Edited November 29, 2019 by Honeydadddy