Being Little when the World is telling you to Grow Up

[Persephone_N]

I'm hopping to make this thread a place for all Littles' to share their stories and/or experiences about suddenly becoming Little while out in public, or at least around people who don't understand/know about the DDLG lifestyle. What happened, how you dealt with it, what you thought about it, and just overall experiences.

 

In the past, I've had a few instances where I suddenly digress while out in public and have to struggle and fight with my inner Little to stop her from taking over completely.

 

     For example: My worst instance of "Little Takeover" so far; happened one random afternoon when I was coming out of Walmart. I was over tired, frustrated, thirsty, and just wanted to go home. Well, you can imagine how 3 yr old me reacted when she realized that we still had all of our errands to run and this was only this first stop. ...If you guessed big tears and the sudden urge to sit down where I stood in the parking lot; you'd be right. It took to the end of my already fraying rope just to get into the car before the damn broke. It took petting Aoi, my "stress bunny", a fanfic I had recorded on my ipod, sucking on the back of my hand that smelled like candy canes, and about 10 minutes before I was calm enough to keep going. - The worst part, for me, is that, in all of my...let's call them 'Drops', I'm always crying out for a Daddy that isn't there...

 

On a happier note; here's what happened today and prompted me to start this thread: 

 

Earlier today I was talking with a colleague about some of the purses we sell at the Spa I work at PT - they were pink and sparkly, and, not realizing that I was starting to Drop, I mentioned how much cuter the bags would be if the pink was fur, and what if they had long floppy bunny ears attached. ... my colleague, jokingly, asked: "what are you, 9?" and I'll admit, I wanted to say something along the lines of "Oh, I'm much younger than that." Or just a "Nu-ah" and hold up a few fingers. But before I could, she followed it up with: "Actually, my niece would love something like that."

 

And while the 'Age' comment threw me a little, I'll admit that it was the fact that it was okay for her niece to like little girl things, but not me. It makes me a little sad at times that; because of the way I look or my perceived age - society deems Little Me as strange, quirky, immature, or even a phase.

[Guest Littlebrina]

I totally understand there’s been times in which my little self would just suddenly gets out while I’m in public but what’s worse is when people looks at you weirdly as to why I’m being childish even if My actual age is 21 but in those moments i was a 3 year old but my little age changes sometimes but still I don’t like when my own family tells me to grow up cause they expect me to be like an adult and to leave all your childlike life behind and me no like that. all I want is to just yell at them that this just who I am! There was one time when I brought my stuffie bun bun to work and he totally made feel very little and my coworker got so weirded out and was like why am I being all giggly and childish I immediately got out of it and I got very sad but also I was at work I just want people to understand that this is not a weird thing and That it’s just normal

[Sean]

For me, being a "Little" isn't a lifestyle I chose... i just am. My body is 55 years old now, but inside I have always been 8 or so (really in the 7 to 9 range). And in all those years, I have heard so many people tell me to "act my age". My reply has always been, "Never! I will never act my age, I will act how I feel." For one thing, I have no idea how a person "my age" is supposed to act, and from the examples I have seen so far of people my age... no thank you! Through counseling (for my PTSD and depression), I have been on a road of discovery, tracing all the way back to my childhood when I was physically small (which I wish I still was!). And looking at cause and effect; how abused I was as a child between home and school, and how I dealt with that abuse, makes me now wonder if I have had PTSD since then and not just the past 24 years when I had a near fatal accident. And I wonder if having Age Dysphoria is a symptom of that, in a way, retarding my growth into adulthood. And to be honest, though I am super jealous of children who are still children, I'm not sorry at all about being a "little". If I did have a choice, I would still be as I am... with one exception: MY BODY WOULD STILL BE THE AGE I AM ON THE INSIDE! Perpetual childhood! Yes, please!

But most people see how I am, how genuine my behavior is. And more times than not, I see that many of them are jealous because I retained so much of my innocence and youthful exuberance after all these years.

[Guest Peachy Paisley]

This speaks to me!

 

I start to slip into little space in public sometimes, usually when I am overwhelmed, overstimulated, or it's just been a long day & I need quiet time. Luckily I am usually out with my partner, so I sometimes just cling to him a bit more than I normally would, or if we are out of ear shot I might call him daddy & 'baby talk' a bit, or just small things I usually do at home when in little space (mostly more childish type of movements I guess, like swinging my arms silly when I walk, or skipping). I have even carted a stuffie I wanted around a store and stroked it while biting at my thumb (vs sucking it) because he had his arms full and I couldn't hold onto him & was very overwhelmed (very busy & loud store and I was super done with the day!).

 

I am able to hold it back pretty well, at least until we are able to get some privacy which usually isn't long. But some days it definitely catches me by surprise and slips out a bit more than I might like. I also notice if my mental health isn't doing too well I slip into little space in general a lot more often than I would when I am doing well. It makes sense, of course, but it definitely comes out more in public in those moments too. I do feel much how Sean mentioned above, that this isn't a lifestyle I chose, I just have always been this way I think (or it feels like that due to childhood trauma lol).

 

The few times people have noticed it's usually been a close friend, who generally has an idea that we are into some stuff they aren't into...one time I was made fun of, but I know he meant it to be silly teasing & not mean...though if I didn't know the person I would have felt really miserable about it, seeing as it's sometimes something I really can't control very well but make an effort to around others, for their own sake & mine too. lol

Edited November 22, 2019 by Peachy Paisley

[Guest Sunshinekitty]

I'm 44. I'm pretty sure I've just always had a little side.

 

It was always my mom who commented "You still watch cartoons...what are you five?" or  "Don't you think that's a little young for you?"

 

I think that my friends just look at me and say, "That's how she is." No excuses, no condemnation. Hell, most of them revel in the fact that I can be so free about dressing in costumes or doing whatever. They like that I'm not inhibited and afraid--that I'm curious and outspoken.

 

Only a small handful of people directly in my life know about my little self--and every single one of them is careful to be gentle and caring. Sometimes they ask questions--but it's never in an accusing way. I don't know how I got to be so lucky to be surrounded by people who love me so well, but other than strangers staring at me when I'm clearly little, no one speaks up about it at all.

 

Maybe that's the benefit of aging upward, yet downward. My 4-7 year old self sometimes throws tantrums...and the adult in me talks her through it, like, well...she always has. And my CG is usually around to pick me up all the other times. He's very good with my little side.

 

Again, I feel very fortunate to be so accepted by so many people. But I think the most important thing is not to make excuses to people about the things I like. "You like that?" "Of course!" Not like they're gonna say anything else after that--and they might start thinking about the personal preferences that /they/ hide from other people.

 

Be yourself. That's all you can be.

[redheadprincess98]

I’m 21 and have been harassed and bullied for liking little girl stuff even when I was little. I remember being 8 and before school started, I begged my parents to get me this awesome super pink super sparkly barbie backpack. I loved it so much. But when school started my classmates made fun of me for having that backpack and not a “cool” one. I used that one for a couple of months and never again. I also remember being 10 and having children music in my ipod, a classmate grabbed it without my permission to spy on me or annoy me, found the music and they all laughed and made fun of me. They mocked me, pushed me and pulled my hair. My classmates were into “rock” or more “grown up” music and I just wanted my disney songs and pink backpacks. With time I learnt to hide it better, so much that I dont let myself go into little space unless im alone, if/when the world becomes too much, I have to go back home quickly so I can be alone and “recover”. So yeah, I’ve always been a little, before I even knew it and I resent all the people who didnt let me enjoy it when it still looked okay for me to be like that.

[Guest Avy]

i've always been little, for me it isn't exactly a lifestyle or choice. it's more just who i am. i've grown up with comments to stop acting like i'm 2 years old or if i want to be an adult so bad (me on wanting to move out) then i should act like it. or even the ever so popular stop watching cartoons (i literally don't watch adult shows, i find them way to boring most of the time). people always looked at me strange because i couldn't or didn't want to tie my own shoelaces, or even when i was 12 years old out in public i still would collapse on the floor after a long day! and i still do if i feel stressed out!

 

i remember one time i actually got cat called out in public for wearing my little pack (a pink bunny backpack) or the time i was out with my friend (who is a dom; just not mine nor do i want him to be) and he freaked out when i started to have a tantrum at walmart! i couldn't help it, i wanted the stuffie i saw!

 

eventually though, around the time i learned i was a little i just started to ignore how others reacted to me and stopped caring about it; why should i be bothered? i'm happy being myself!

Edited November 28, 2019 by Avy

[BabyDaisy81]

I just do what I need to, regardless of where I am.. because I’m autistic and have borderline personality disorder my needs are covered under the anti discrimination act (disabilities) so if I’m working in the future I can meet my needs there.. When I’m attending classes I can run outside for time out..