Losing my father

[Guest PlasticPrincess]

Hello, 

 

I feel somewhat silly for this but I recently lost my father and turning to DDLG for a little comfort, especially my middle side of lazing around drawing/cuddling/cuddling bears and sucking my dummy. I can't be sexual due to my mental health right now and orgams just make me breakdown. I want a daddy dynamic so I can feel like somebodies princess again but is it strange that it suddenly feels so disrespectful to my late father?

 

 

[Nymph]

Everyone has their own way of mourning, I don't think it's disrespectful to your father, since it's about you. As long as you are open with your guy and he is aware this might be temporary and the reason you are doing it I don't see anything wrong with it. Perhaps using a different title instead of daddy will help a bit, give your guy a loving or silly nickname or even a more formal one like Sir.

 

Take your time *hugs*

[Guest Brooklynburro]

Not at all. I think what you’re trying to find is that safe feeling you had with your father. And that, creates a calm around you that you’re missing. It’s not disrespectful in the least. The only thing that would be wrong is for someone to exploit your feelings.

[MrPaulDavies]

I can understand why you feel.it could be disrespectful but I am sure he would want you to get emotional solace. You are missing a father's firm hand and guidance.

[SmolAetherr]

the only disrepsect any child can pay to their parent is to life a life they are not happy with

 

you do you, a good parent will always love you regardless.

 

ps: lost my mother in 2016, i am sorry for your loss.

Edited November 14, 2019 by Aetherr

[Guest Sunshinekitty]

I'm sorry you lost a person who made you feel so safe, loved, and cared for.

 

It isn't disrespectful to look for the things you need in your life.

 

It's hard to go through grief--and however you do this, it's yours. Grief is normal, no matter what it looks like. Do whatever you need to take time for yourself to find your way back to your new normal.

[LittleGirlEmilia]

Hiya, I’m sorry for your loss! I hope you’re managing through this difficult time. In my opinion, you need to disassociate your father from the lifestyle as it's not a healthy way to view the DDlg dynamic at all. If I were you I would take some time to yourself and re-evaluate your motivation for joining the lifestyle, I know it can be appealing to replace a relationship that’s been important to you, but the best thing you can do is heal over time, and then consider the DDlg dynamic when you’re confident you’re doing the right thing for you as the wrong motivations can lead to more heartache.

[Guest PlasticPrincess]

Thank you all for your replies so far. I'm coping with the loss fairly well I believe considering it's only been a month. I've been in DDLG dynamics long before my father died and lost having the DDLG dynamics in my life mostly down to it not working with my then partner. I think I've just felt a little lost in this world since loosing him as it somewhat felt like I was disrespecting the role he had to call another man Daddy, whilst needing to feel protected and loved and secure the way previous daddies have made me feel. 

I know I don't need a full DDLG relationship and something more relaxed as I know my mental health isn't in the place for a full on relationship with a Daddy. I do appreciate all your advise and will take it all on board as I try and navigate the multiple battles going on in my head right now 

[Guest QueenJellybean]

to second what's already been said above, i think this is pretty normal & natural reaction to loss. 

we all crave that nurturing in some way or another. 

i remember going through something very similar when i first found the community, which was shortly after my father passed away.

but your desire to be coddled, comforted, and warm isn't disrespectful & probably has a lot less to do with your father than you fear. 

a lot of the reasons we're interested in this particular dynamic is because it gives us a familiarity that most of have miss or haven't ever experienced. 

 

if you don't feel like you should call your partner "Daddy" right now, don't.

if you don't feel like you should regress right now, don't.

don't do anything that makes you feel gross.

but more importantly,

don't stop doing the things that bring you comfort for fear of *being* gross.

 

because you aren't.

[Guest PinkBaby_Princess]

I'm sorry you lost your father. Whatever the reason is.

I don't think it was disrespectful at all.

Everyone mourns. Just be true to yourself. Always.

I recently lost my brother back in August and my heart goes out to you.

I'm currently mourning too. It's a rough spot for me right now.

I'm here if you ever need to talk.