little space

[peachy_pastel22]

i'm a switch and my girlfriends a little but sometimes i want to be little and be taken care of but my girlfriend doesn't want anything to do with my little space at all and i can't help but feel jealous of her because whenever she's little i always take care of her no matter what.

 

help?

[Little kaiya]

That is certainly the challenge of being a switch and dating somebody who isn't a switch themself. If your girlfriend was upfront about being a little and not being a switch when you started dating then you knew in advance what to expect. You can't really expect her to suddenly become a switch just because you're a switch. What you describe is a reason a lot of switches will only date switches because otherwise they can rapidly find one side of their needs not being met.

 

That said, your wants and needs are as equally valid as hers but you also need to realize she may not be able to meet them for you. It sounds like you've already tried discussing it with her so I won't belabour that point.

 

Your options kind of come down to accepting your girlfriend wont be able to meet your little needs and staying in a relationship that makes you feel jealous or looking for other ways to meet those needs whether it's finding a different caregiver for your little side or perhaps leaving and finding a different relationship.

 

I would say it's quite rare that someone who identifies as a little will suddenly become a switch for their partner. Just be aware doing nothing in a lot cases can cause resentment that is very harmful to the relationship.

 

Good luck.

 

Little kaiya

Edited November 11, 2019 by Little kaiya

[Guest QueenJellybean]

big, mega-oof. 

 

time for a meta talk!

 

sit down, and speak honestly about your relationship. 

explain to her what you told us -- very valid desires. 

if you guys are monogamous, which i'm assuming, then it's important that she knows and understands your desires. 

perhaps she'd be comfortable with you having a platonic caregiver? 

or even helping you set up some tools to be alone in little space, if she doesn't want to be involved. 

 

whatever the decision, you shouldn't have to stifle yourself for a relationship. 

[Bugaboo]

I'm really sorry about your situation, I've heard a lot of switches struggling with this type of situation. I know you said she wants nothing to do with your little side, but what if you both play together when little? So, she won't have to technically be in charge and take care of you, but you still get to be little and feel little! For example, you can both have a playdate, make cute snacks and adorable lunch before hand! Then have lots of little space activities to do together (coloring, disney movies, and more). Talking to her can work out some things, but this can also be an alternative choice for the both of you! I wish you the best of luck!