New Daddy looking for help

[MohawkTheDaddy]

Hi Everyone,

 

I am very new to being a Daddy to my little. My Little almost always behaves well for her Daddy and I haven't had to punish for anything yet, until today. My Little and I agreed that there wouldn't be any naughty touching of herself until she saw me in person again, but she did anyways, it was hurtful to me, actually.  Punishing is something I am not familiar with yet since she has been very kind and respectful to me.  

 

She tends to breakdown when I mention any physical punishments and the one punishment I have mentioned more seriously (sitting her down and making her write lines) also seemed to break her down.

 

I'm not sure what to do, I would like to take my job as a Daddy seriously but need help.

 

Thanks for any suggestions that are left.

[Guest DaddySadist]

Punishments are just that....punishments.

 

They're not intended to be fun and are intended to create a lasting impression.

 

If maybe consider against physical punishments if there's a deeper reason she breaks down at that thought but the writing lines is a good one to use and one I've done in the past.

 

Though, if really secure in the relationship there's always the five words that seem to have the best endgame.

 

I am disappointed in you

 

That gets most littles the worst.

 

My opinion though....

[Spunky09]

Can confirm. Just reading it made me cringe and want to cry at the thought of my daddy being disappointed.

Lines are a pretty solid punishment. Other than that, additional chores, early bed time, no sweets for the day, or something like corner time where the punishment is contemplation of the behavior and why it was naughty...

 

Just don't forget to have aftercare though. That's really important! Discussion with your little afterwards to express that you still love them and were hurt by the punishment too is a big thing to not skimp on.

 

Best of luck!

 

Edit: Saw this on the front page, didn't see where it was posted until after making this comment. Sorry for intruding!

Edited November 9, 2019 by Spunky09

[Guest SifuTheWolf]

Punishments should not exceed the infringement and what's easy for one little can be impossible for another,punishments, like everything else, should be discussed. Choosing the appropriate punishment is your responsibility,you do NOT want to go too far, and you should ask yourself how important the rule that was broken is to you. You might want to give your little a list of punishments and have her rate them from 0-10 on how hard they are, that can help you choose in the future. They can be as easy as standing in the corner for 10 minutes, you'd be surprised at how hard that can be. A simple search on this site or Google search can give you a plethora of options. Good luck to you and yours!

[Guest QueenJellybean]

some great punishment ideas are here: 

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/23277-punishments/

[Honeydadddy]

***Trigger warning***

Just offering a slightly different perspective here... maybe she's not ready for punishments. She might be in the stage where she just needs nurturing and can't emotionally handle punishment or disappointment.  Sometimes punishment and rules connect to past experiences that little's may or may not have (conscious) awareness of and those elements of a relationship with DD can be triggering for them.  Perhaps there are other ways where she can demonstrate respect instead of no touching, like tell you every time she touches herself.  She might just need to explore healthy attachment and acceptance with you before she can be punished. Consider that punishment might feel like rejection for her. That said, it is important to have standards and consequences built around your boundaries. For example, you might require total honesty from her or certain daily communication specifics, where the consequence for lying or not following through is the loss of a privilege like her cooking dinner instead of you taking her out for dinner. Simply: if rules and punishments don't work, consider getting your little's consent to certain behaviors with an understanding that they'll loose privileges if they don't behave; this might be a more nurturing first step towards a future phase of rules and punishments.

[LittleTeacup]

Edit: Saw this on the front page, didn't see where it was posted until after making this comment. Sorry for intruding!

 

Um, how would this be intruding? As far as I know, the Caregiver Cafe isn't a "little-free zone", but just a section devoted to topics surrounding caregivers. Caregivers post in the Little Space section after all...

 

 

Anyway, regarding the OP's question, I would ask your little why she broke the rule. Did she forget? Was she curious about what might happen? Was she just unable to help herself? And what does she want from you? If she's devastated over disappointing you, maybe that's enough punishment for now. Or maybe she can just go without a dessert. Something simple is best.