Pronoun issues, but not the way you think....

[Guest catbeepbeeps]

It maybe a little off topic just let me know if its not allowed i can delete it no problem) so idk if its just me, (probs is) but does anyone else hate adult pronouns, like the word adult itself, and woman/man. Im not trying to compare it to what a transgender person would have to deal with at all(!) but is it just me who it really bothers, makes my heart sink and actually makes me a bit mad, like I would rather not have the words be mentioned. I prefer the word adult not be mentioned, and prefer girl to woman. Just me?

[Guest catbeepbeeps]

Not so much where the random people say it without realising, but when people i know know it bothers me and they still say it 4 basically no reason makes me want to tell them to shut the ...... upppp

[Guest QueenJellybean]

this doesn't bother me at all, but i'm glad you made the clarification you did. 

i also don't necessarily feel this is *pronoun* issue, but more of a dislike of being classified a certain way. 

i have a co-worker who is very clearly a little that tells everyone that she isn't an adult when they call her one, in a playful way.

i think that's her way around it. 

[BabyBunnyBunting]

Yeah, i get what you're saying. It's something i come across a lot, internally cringing every time someone labels me an 'adult'. I sometimes playfully correct people, if we're close enough, like "adult? Woah, I'm not that old!"

Since I'm in my early 20s, nobody seems to be too bothered. But yeah, labels like 'woman' and 'lady' and 'grownup' etc... they just don't fit me! I'm still a little girl!

[Guest Looby-Lou]

If you have strong feelings about it there's nothing wrong with letting your friends/partner know these words upset you. They might slip up sometimes, but hopefully you'd accept that, and hopefully they'd be respectful of your feelings and try not to use those words.

 

If you mean it upsets you in general when anyone uses those words around you or in reference to you, then I'd say that's a bit extreme. We need these words for conversation and reference so that we all know what we're talking about. For example when discussing behaviour as a little and behaviour as a ... well what word would you use? You've gotta have something to make the distinction between "grown-up" and little!  We are all adults and that's a vital thing to acknowledge with DDlg otherwise we veer into dangerous & illegal territory.  

 

We all have preferences. I don't like the word "Big". But I accept it's a commonly used word in DDlg so I just have to take it on the chin when I come across it. (The word adult is my preferred word.)  And the same as you, I often prefer the word "girl", but I firmly believe "woman" is more appropriate sometimes. For example, I'm a grown woman with childlike tendencies; I'm NOT a child.

 

Words are important. Even the words we don't like.

 

Looby 

[Guest Daddy-Tom]

In professional and other situations you're just going to have to suck it up because you are in fact an adult and will be treated as such for instance at work. Not really anything you can do about that. It's possible to take ddlg too far and that could be harmful. Take care.

[rainbowish]

This isn't a pronoun issue since those aren't pronouns, but I think I get what you mean. Having terms used that imply adult-ness frustrate you. In my daily life I'm the opposite; I absolutely hate terms that infantalise me in work or my studies because it feels like I'm being discredited based on (percieved) age. But when I'm small, infantalising words hit all the right spots for me.