Age regression...?

[carmine]

Hello, I have been reading up on DDlg online, and I have noticed several times a distinction being drawn between age-regression and age-play, in that the former is considered strictly non-sexual. It confused me (more info on that in a bit), to be honest, and I recently came upon this article:

 

 

Recreational age regression

Age regression is never considered sexual. It’s a type of defense mechanism that allows you to mentally escape to a different time in your life.

This is different from pretending to be younger. Indeed, some individuals portray themselves many years younger than they are as part of a hobby, sexual fetish, or kink.

For example, some members of fandom communities may use costumes and portrayals to “pretend” to be younger and more naïve. This is not real age regression.

Source.

(emphasis mine)

 

Upon reading this, it is clear to me that I age-regress, not age play, as I think a part of me truly is a "little girl." If mental fantasies are anything go off of, this is likely sexual for me. That is why I am confused why age-play is the only thing that has to be sexual and age-regression absolutely cannot be (which is the message being conveyed, from what I have read - in general, not only this article - anyway). 

Edited November 4, 2019 by carmine

[Guest EllianaNarna]

I think that article is confusing, as many people I've come across in the ddlg community (including myself) don't "pretend" to be little, they just allow their little/immature/childish etc side to come out. When I'm big, my little side can still be present in my head (thoughts in littlespeak rather than adult language, etc), and vice versa.

 

Again, this is just in my experience. But I should probably research this myself.

 

At the end of the day, I don't think this particular label matters. As long as you're happy, you don't need to name it.

[SmolAetherr]

its your kink/fetish dont read articles and copy it word for word.. everyone has their own take on it and how it should be done

 

the main difference between age regression and ageplay is usually not a big one

 

an ageplayer often doesent require time to be little to function/balance and enjoys a sex life often with and just as often without ageplay being involved

 

age regressors more often than not put themselves in the mind of a younger version of themself more often than not this is to experiance a childhood free from trauma or to be the child they always wanted to be it can be sexual but many in age regression use it to tackle trauma so its very often not and a strict coping mechanism

 

thats not to say an ageplayer cant regress or a ragressor cant play

 

its unique to everyone and nobody should ever be assume one way or the other or be preached to about how it should be done

 

make it yours and do what feels good

 

a perfect example of this is dominant/caregiving females can be seen calling themselves "daddy" daddy is a title typically given to males with a dominant or caregiving side and females are usually named "mommy" but nobody is stopping these woman taking the title and making it fit them.. that is the point!

[carmine]

I think that article is confusing, as many people I've come across in the ddlg community (including myself) don't "pretend" to be little, they just allow their little/immature/childish etc side to come out. When I'm big, my little side can still be present in my head (thoughts in littlespeak rather than adult language, etc), and vice versa.

 

Again, this is just in my experience. But I should probably research this myself.

 

At the end of the day, I don't think this particular label matters. As long as you're happy, you don't need to name it.

 

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, as it seems to me that "little" generally is a real part of "who they are," although that's not to say age-playing is not a thing as well (where they need not identify on this implicit level as being little, but may role-play it for fun). 

 

Maybe its semantics, but I have a seen a few times (on discord servers and online), the distinction between those two being drawn, so I was just curious. 

 

It also seems part of it (the emphasis on distinction between the two) could stem from the controversy and hate that sexual ddlg can generate in the general public (I could be wrong of course, but that was impression at least). 

[Guest Sunshinekitty]

I'm not particularly into "ageplay," but I regress in and out all day long. And I gotta say that it's kind of ridiculous to say you can't be sexual (I mean, I'm an adult still, riiight?), but regressed--as long as your partner doesn't care, and you're fine with it, why not?

 

Silly people's...like the others, I firmly believe we all do our little stuff different ways, and of course we do. That would be like saying all adults have to have the same habits and hobbies. Nope. We all have different interests and interact the way we do. That's what makes it awesome.

 

And now that I've babbled, I hope any of that makes sense...

[ForeverFluffy]

As both an age player and an age regressor, I would say that the difference is whether or not you're mentally an adult. I use this phrase because when you are regressed, it's like being mentally a child. You are in the mindset of a child and, therefore, aren't in a position to consent to things like sexual activity. It is most often used in cases of childhood trauma so that you can heal from that trauma.

Age play, like age regression, can be a coping mechanism for stress. But it isn't used to heal from trauma. More importantly, you are mentally an adult. You act childishly, but that doesn't mean you can't do adult things. And often, this childish behavior is part of your personality.

[carmine]

As both an age player and an age regressor, I would say that the difference is whether or not you're mentally an adult. I use this phrase because when you are regressed, it's like being mentally a child. You are in the mindset of a child and, therefore, aren't in a position to consent to things like sexual activity. It is most often used in cases of childhood trauma so that you can heal from that trauma.

Age play, like age regression, can be a coping mechanism for stress. But it isn't used to heal from trauma. More importantly, you are mentally an adult. You act childishly, but that doesn't mean you can't do adult things. And often, this childish behavior is part of your personality.

 

I would say I am not mentally an adult but I don't mind being sexual (from what I can imagine anyway). What you bring up about "not in a position to consent to sexual activity" is interesting to me in that I feel like submission in general, may enable someone to give up power to a certain extent, to someone they trust. So in that mindset, with someone I trust, I don't know if I would be necessarily against something more intimate or sexual. 

 

I am not saying that's the case for everyone though, and of course, people should feel comfortable with their own boundaries and those are to be respected. 

 

It just brought up a feeling in me that seems akin to "consensual non-consent" (conceptually at least) but not exactly. 

 

But um, yeah, I also need experience to figure a lot of this stuff out, but it's still interesting to think about. 

Edited November 5, 2019 by carmine

[ForeverFluffy]

Then I would say that your age regression and your age play mindsets are similar! Age play doesn't have to be sexual at all, but it often is. And it can be difficult to tell the difference between regression and play. Most of the time, regression is nonsexual. Unless you don't regress to a young child. Like maybe a teenager? I regress to being 2-4. But I know some people regress to being 15. And a lot of people have their first sexual experiences in adolescence.

Personally, when I'm regressed, ANY kind of sexual content or interaction scares the bejeezus out of me and I immediately snap out of my regression mindset or cry. However, when I'm in age play mindset, I find my position of being powerless a huge turn on.

[Persephone_Moon]

Hello

 I use age regression in a non sexual way. Its my little space that helps me get away from being an adult. Sometimes i do have to expalin that to my partner. When im not in little space Im a sub. 

Hope this helps

 

[Guest ~GlitterUnicorn~]

It can be different for everyone, I suggest you focus on what it means for you, rather then what an article says

[jelloprincess]

I don't think the article is worded very clearly. Let me explain my understanding and personal experience:

 

Ageplay is when you're mentally still an adult, but you roleplay being a child for sexual purposes. This is voluntary and the person can immediately go back into their normal role at any time. Ageplayers may seek out CG/l relationships for the purpose of having someone to act out this roleplay with.

 

Age regression is a dissociative state where you feel mentally and emotionally like a child. In some people this is completely involuntary, though it's possible to develop more control over when you're little (I think of this as falling on a bell curve -- for a few people it's completely involuntary, some people have total control, but the majority of people fall somewhere in the middle). Some people regress due to childhood trauma, or because adulthood is stressful and it's easier for them to be a child, and some people just enjoy it. Age regressors may seek out CG/l relationships so that they have someone that they can share this part of themselves that wider society does not understand. Some regressors want a caregiver because it helps them feel safe and loved when they're little. CG/l relationships can have romantic or sexual aspects, but that's not the reason that the little regresses. Some regressors are uncomfortable being sexual while they're little, but that's not the case for everyone. If all parties involved consent to sex while the regressor is little, there's nothing wrong with that -- but it also doesn't mean that age regression itself is sexual.

 

Let me give an analogy to see if this helps. Imagine that there's a dating website for rock climbers. Some people on the site are just looking for a partner that share their hobby. They're looking for a romantic/sexual relationship and they would also like to go rock climbing with their partner. Some people on the site may have a rock climbing fetish. They're aroused by rock climbing (the gear, the risk involved, maybe some exhibitionism in there, etc etc.). They want to find a partner to have sex with in their harness or on the side of a mountain or something. To the first group, rock climbing is not sexual -- it's just an interest that they have, and a part of their lives that they want to share with a partner. Even if two people from this group meet and end up having sex hanging down the side of a cliff, that's just something sexual that they did together. For them, rock climbing isn't sexual. For the second group, rock climbing itself is sexual.

 

Based on what you said, that part of you truly is a little girl, I would categorize you as an age regressor. It's okay if you're sexual when you're little!  

 

I hope that helps! Ultimately the labels don't really matter. Just do you and don't worry about what other people think.

[carmine]

It can be different for everyone, I suggest you focus on what it means for you, rather then what an article says

 

Well, the reason why I picked that article is that informally, people describe age-regression as something to do to deal with trauma, and indeed, in literature it is a legitimate psychological construct in that it can be common in those with DID, trauma, BPD, for example. I did not want to (mis)use a term I do not fully understand, and so I sought out more than just informal sources where people just give their own definition of it. 

 

I was just reading this for example:

 

 

 

Regression proneness

Perhaps the most notable omission from the DSM borderline criteria is proneness to regression (i.e., to adopt childish behaviors and expectations) when placed in unstructured situations. This characteristic brought the disorder to the attention of clinicians such as Stern 1938, Knight 1953, and Hoch and Polatin (1949)—all of whom had expected their depressed or neurotic patients to have more strength and maturity than they showed when in psychoanalytic treatment. Regression proneness has been supported by studies of patients’ performance on unstructured psychological tests like the Rorshach (Singer and Larsen 1981), and it is a central reason for many of the treatment problems patients with BPD can create. The addition of the ninth criterion in DSM-IV, noting phenomena that reflect lapses in reality sense or reality testing, is only a very indirect and unsatisfactory means of addressing this trait.

from: The borderline diagnosis I: psychopathology, comorbidity, and personality structure

 

 

 

Nothing wrong with it, of course, and sure I do understand "what it means for me" (as I have described several times in this thread), but it doesn't look like to me that you can entirely disconnect age-regression from its more scientific, historical basis.