Daddy Friends/ Part Time Daddy

[Guest LizEffect]

So I am not sure if anyone else had dealt with this or is currently in a situation like this but I wanted to put it up here. When I first started accepting my little side I had a really good friend who at one time before had a little and was very supportive and kind of stepped into a daddy role for me, just a little, while I was figuring things out. It was really helpful for when I was feeling little because he would talk to me each day and just be very nice and made me feel good and not ashamed.

 

We have had an intimate relationship before but we've always both knew that friends was the better option for us because hes poly and im not and we knew even if we tried anything he would want more. As hard as it my seem I really was more than fine with that. I cared about him and we have a wonderful relationship that would be ruined if we tried something serious.

 

So enough of the back story. We have been talking a lot more because of all this and when I feel little I get very attached to him, something I do not think I noticed until it was to late, and so today while talking about seeing each other soon he mentioned wanted to get with his other little, the same one from before that I suppose he sees from time to time, and its not uncommon for us to talk about other relations with each other but it just hit in a really weird way for me this time and then later in the conversation he said something else that made it seem like a past time together wasnt good and when I confronted him about it he was just like oh no it was great. I havnt responded because right now I just feel really down I guess. 

 

Sorry its long    I'm just so unsure. Has anyone had a daddy friend or a "part-time" daddy in their life?

[Guest cheekylilbean]

I’ve got a man in my life who treats me little. He doesn’t specifically know the name of why I’m acting like a little bean, but he does know I do it to “reparent” myself. He has taken on a “caregiver” role without it having a name. He doesn’t have a girl in his life at the moment, but he’s an absolute catch and he will in the future. I know I’m going to be emotional, even just thinking about it makes me sooky.

[SmolAetherr]

if i were you i would pull out emotionally, monogamous people dont tend to mix well with poly when it comes to "feels" its two fundamentally different views on relationships

[baby_k]

I have daddy-friend/ex-daddy who I lend to "daddy" me sometimes. But, big BUT, he is more like big brother to me. I have sometimes even called him onii-chan which he is not super fond of    We may have ( some ) intimacy but 0% romance, ownership and so on.

 

So, I get support from him, can talk of ddlg stuff and dating troubles to him ( and vice versa ) but we are both fine with the other one dating. He actually has now gf and I sometimes feel bit worried that I somehow step on that girl's territory even we have just friendship with maybe bit more weirder topics. And I really want him to find happiness <3

 

Where as when there is possibility for relationship, also in friends-with-benefits kinda situation, someone is likely to get hurt as they get attached too much when the other one is not. I think part-time daddy can work if you somehow lack the romantical side of things and there is no temptation to date ( or like in my case: it was tried and.... didn't really work out ).

 

So, if I was you, I would really try to consider things long term: will that relationship as it is make you happy on long term? Is it making you stronger, independent person? Will it help you to gain the goals you have ( such as finding love or maybe learning more about yourself )? Wil you get hurt in the end and is it really worth it? Are you closing doors for other daddies as you don't need them as you have him? ( side note: not encouraging you to change immediately into someone else but the longer you stay in one rel, the longer it will take till you can get over it and actually be ready to date someone new )

[roseyposey]

Baby_K has some really good advice. I've had Daddy friends in the past (one turned into a long term daddy) but it was really a strong friendship that had long term benefits (such as making me a stronger, independent person). 

[Guest LizEffect]

Thanks you everyone. It’s definitely a lot to think about. Me and him have been friends and supported relationships where anything intimate between us was gone so I know we have a great friendship. It seems mostly recently because of me accepting this part of myself and allowing him to step in that role. When I’m feeling little is when I feel the most attachment to him. I do think I’m going to slowly stop going to him in those moments so that it doesn’t affect more than it already has.