Rant/advice appreciated- toxic daddy?

[Cute-lil-kitten696]

Okay, so my bf has been pretty toxic throughout our relationship.... The thing is, he's such a perfect cg, like literally everything I've ever wanted in a cg, and he is genuinely trying to get better but it's gotten to the point where I no longer want to be vulnerable around him anymore, so my little side doesn't come out. I just.. Ugh.

[Cute-lil-kitten696]

-ways he's been toxic-

-not allowing me to talk to my friends who are guys, for a while

-emotionally selfish and immature

- constantly goes through my phone, makes me feel like I have no privacy

-makes me stay home from hanging out with my friends just bc he doesn't wanna go

 

He's been genuinely trying to get better,and has been in some areas. But as soon as he gets mad, or we get in a fight, it gets so much worse. He becomes a genuinely terrible person, and says and acts like he doesn't care about my feelings at all. Part of me is pretty sure it's just a heat of the moment thing, but part if me is also scared that he's just showing his true colors.

[Guest Sunshinekitty]

If you can't get to your little side--then all you have is a toxic boyfriend that can be a CG to the little side you can't find.

 

I can say from experience after living with someone that toxic that it's not worth it. I kept pushing my self aside, over and over and over until I started to lose myself.

 

It really sucks, but boundaries and caring for yourself are important, it doesn't matter how good at a skill someone is.

 

If you choose to stay--recognize that no matter how much someone promises to 'be better' or 'do better,' unless they show you by actions that they are BEING better--they won't.

 

Promises are empty and words are meaningless when dealing with a toxic person. Look at their actions outside of the CG part and then decide whether you want that in your life for the long haul.

 

I hope you find the right answer for you.

[Guest Littledreamer95]

Toxic/abusive people don't get better unless they seek professional help.

They always apologise, get slightly better for a bit, but go right back to old habbits. Because is always someone else's fault but not theirs.

Get away while you can.

You can get a flawless cg AND a healthy relationship. Don't settle for so little because you deserve better.

[Guest littlebabyslittlespace]

Dump him! You deserve so much better than that, and it's sad you can't be little because of him. You can find another great caregiver, nothing is worth being with a toxic partner

[Little kaiya]

I'm genuinely confused by your post. You say he's the perfect caregiver but in your very next post you say he goes through your phone (breach of trust), wont let you talk to male friends or makes you stay in when you dont want (isolating you and undermining your support network), is selfish and immature (speaks for itself), says he doesn't care about your feelings when he's mad and makes you not want to be vulnerable around him (fear). If you look at those things how is that a perfect caregiver? How is that even an ok caregiver?? Honestly, that sounds like a TERRIBLE caregiver to me. Being a good caregiver to me isn't about setting rules, doing punishments, story time, bath time, nap time, outings or all the rest. It's about a deep, abiding love, respect and caring, which your description of him puts into SERIOUS doubt.

 

It sounds manipulative, uncaring and the start of/ongoing abusive relationship. I dont know what makes you consider them a perfect caregiver because what you described, to me, overrides any activities or words he may say.

 

Little kaiya

[LittleCelticLass]

I completely agree with Kaiya. This guy doesn't sound like a perfect anything, other than a perfect A$$.

A leopard won't change his spots, and you deserve better. As hard as it might be, I suggest moving on.