Pseudonym/ actually meeting my daddy

[Minasosoft]

I have been in an "online/phone" relationship with my Daddy for a few months. He has recently told me he desires to actually meet and live out our fantasies together (this would be with a safeword, contract, etc).

After a few months, he let me know his real, legal name and a few other personal facts. What I have shared with him has been truthful, except my name. He never asked if I was using a pseudonym, and honestly, that pseudonym is who I am as an lg. Need I reveal this to him, and if so, how? I don't want to seem like I purposely withheld this information, it is just that I never expected to meet. I also need to protect my identity due to the work I do and my personal life and community. Is solely using the play name I relate to "wrong?"

 

The thing is, he is in Canada, and I am in the States. I feel that somehow, this would require I use my legal name... he has mentioned flying me up to stat in a hotel, and visiting me there. No talk of coming to me.

 

I am new to all this, and I wanted the feedback of Daddies and Littles, as well as if you are seeing any red flags that I am missing?

 

I would just try to find someone local to me, but our desires are so very well matched. I am demisexual, yet he immediately got my attention and we share so many sexual and DDlg related desires. So much in common sexually.i have never had that with anyone else before, and I am in my 30s.

 

Advice and input greatly appreciated.

[Guest Sunshinekitty]

People only knew me by my gaming handle for years. I think the easiest way to handle your fears is to be honest and tell him--this is your little name, and that's what you feel comfortable being called.

 

I've visited many unknown online people over the years--and generally I've only let them know my first name, if that.

 

It is true that you need to use your real name to fly out. There's not a good way to get around that, except to tell him you need that information to stay private outside the two of you. If you're as close as you feel, then you should be able to trust him with that--and if you're not--you shouldn't be going to visit someone in Canada, pure and simple.

 

Knowing a name isn't the same as bringing your physical presence to someone.

 

As far as the hotel room, that can be a comfort issue--so that you both can go to separate spaces for your visit which is wise. Unless there are other things that he's doing it's probably not a red flag that he's hiding your relationship.

 

As always, be safe--let someone you trust know where you're going, how long you'll be staying, and check in with them by voice at regularly agreed times, including having a "help me" phrase in place in case you actually do need help. You don't need to tell them WHAT you are doing. Again, these are safety precautions and probably won't be needed, but always a good idea to have them.

 

Hope that helps.

[LittleTeacup]

Lots of people have legal names that are different than what they want others to call them. Your little name is kinda like a nickname you want to be called by. It's probably best to mention you have a different legal name but you feel more attached to the one you use with him. He should be fine with that.