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Why does no one want me?


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Guest Moon-Pixie
Posted (edited)

I'm a 28 year old middle. I am kind and loyal. I do my best to make others happy but no one ever has wanted to do the same for me.

I'm short and chubby. Maybe this is the problem? I'm not attractive and I do struggle with it a lot.

No one has ever shown actual interest in me. If the do show interest it is just sexual.

I wish i could find someone that genuinely wants and needs me.

Even on here, no one shows interest.

you are 100% not alone!

 

Actually i also am 28 and recently am trying to figure out if I am a middle or not

 

I have been little for 4yrs and don't seem

To have interest in it no longer

 

I'm worried I won't find someone for me as I maybe to old adult age wise and ddlg age wise

 

Also I am worried about maybe not making many friends because of being older

 

but i am trying

 

You aren't alone and if you need to chat add me as a friend!

Edited by GoodWitch
  • Like 1
Posted

Finding the right person is not a short or simple process. It isn't about making an introduction or a personal ad and throwing it up onto a website and presto. It takes time to introduce yourself, to get to know people, for people to get to know you.

 

I only found my Wife when I was 26 and I didn't find my Daddy until I was 39. That said, both of them are absolutely incredible and were well worth the wait.

 

You talk about nobody showing interest in you on here. Well, you've been here 2 weeks and have 11 posts, most of them on personal ads. Perhaps try changing your approach and get involved in the chat, contribute to discussion threads and get to know people.. look into your local kink or ageplay community. Heck, if you look in the personal ads you can see there are some members who have been looking for years, again, it takes time.

 

My Wife, who is older than I am, is 5'4 and is definitely on the larger side, I still love her dearly. My Daddy, much younger, is about 5'4 and is definitely on the smaller side, i also love him dearly. The point is the right person will love you for you and find you attractive for who you are.

 

You're 28, dont be in such a rush, get to know people, enjoy the journey versus trying to rush to the destination.

 

Little kaiya

  • Like 4
Posted

I'm starting to wonder the same thing about myself. I get asked out in real life but nobody is going to understand me or actually want me the way I need. Me wanting to communicate or express my feelings is always taken personally and I'm made to feel bad for trying to communicate. Or my needs are unheard and I'm ignored for 12 hours while they're out at the pub. Or they don't invite me to do things. I think men are just scaredy cats when it comes to feelings and the prospect of a serious relationship.

 

Being an independent little scares DDs off too. Tbh if you're not sitting there babbling and crawling on the floor and being forced to be called princess within 5 seconds of knowing each other, the majority of "DDs" will be intimidated and not wanna deal with that.

 

I might be a bit of a cynic, but it's just my observations over the last few years.

  • Like 3
Posted
It's just a very small group to find a connection with so it may feel daunting but it'll be worth it if even just one of us finds that one person
  • Like 1
Posted

Desperation and (constant) whining about not finding a partner/someone, is an unattractive attribute to have and you'd only be susceptible to attracting the wrong kind of people.

Want to get out of this cycle? Then I suggest to work on yourself first and be content with your life and who you are before you think about dating and a serious relationship, because I honestly doubt anyone is going to find it with that kind of mindset and weakness.

 

Often-times it's not always about not finding someone, it's about having standards and preferences that's not being met by either one of the two involved, which is totally okay to have, but don't whine about that no one wants you, just because they didn't meet your standards.

Perhaps people should also stop approaching others whom they already know won't work out either, but yet for selfish reasons they do and some believing they can turn someone into their ideal type of Daddy/little while ignoring and disrespecting their hard limits and who they are as a person.

  • Like 2
Guest ~GlitterUnicorn~
Posted
Honestly it just means you haven't met the right person give yourself time
  • Like 2
Guest Littledreamer95
Posted

Is hard to find the right person within the DDLG community. Not many people relate to this lifestyle so is just takes time.

There's nothing wrong with you (yes even you being short and chubby, I'm aswell and is ok! ). The right person will come along

  • Like 1
Guest CuriousCookie
Posted

Hi, another 28 year old here :) I‘ve been thinking for a while if I should answer, because I can’t relate to your problem in the way that I haven’t been looking for anyone.


But I can relate to other points you mentioned like caring for everyone else, but no one caring for you. I did this for years, doing all those things to make people happy up to the point that I didn’t even know anymore who I was, what I wanted. But you know what I forgot and maybe you as well? There is one person that will always be there for you and can make you happy and that’s YOU!


Because of some incidents in my youth I wholeheartedly believed for years that I’m not good enough for any guys, ugly, boring, you name it. So, I didn’t even dare to look at them and probably walked around like one of those cartoon characters with a rain cloud over their head. Problem is, most people run away from rain clouds, because they don’t want to get caught in the storm (which kept this wonderful negative circle in my head alive). A few years ago I ventured out and had a few positive experiences that made me question those strong beliefs I had. I started to wonder, if maybe, just maybe I wasn’t as horrible as I thought of myself. So I tried those mirror tips (picking two things you like about yourself and concentrating on them), started working on becoming one with my body and accepting it the way it was, as well as changing a few things I wanted gone. It took a long time and I still have to work on it and struggle sometimes, but eventually that rain cloud dissipated, and the sun came out. And when you start shining from the inside out, people are way more inclined to approach you, at least that’s what I’m experiencing so far.


What I want to say with this rambling is, yeah, it may suck right now to be single and society’s pressure doesn’t help either, but maybe try to find your sunshine and be the first person that wants you. That way you will be at least happy while looking for the right person that will like you for the awesome person you are.


(not sure if it’s okay to post other links, but I like her words and she is in her 40s, single and has been looking for a partner for years in the vanilla world: http://www.susannahconway.com/2019/09/on-being-single-and-a-catch/)

  • Like 1
Guest Sweetbottoms
Posted

I'm a 28 year old middle. I am kind and loyal. I do my best to make others happy but no one ever has wanted to do the same for me.

I'm short and chubby. Maybe this is the problem? I'm not attractive and I do struggle with it a lot.

No one has ever shown actual interest in me. If the do show interest it is just sexual.

I wish i could find someone that genuinely wants and needs me.

Even on here, no one shows interest.

I have a question do you set boundaries where you allow some things but there are some things you don't allow or tolerate?

 

Are you clear and assertive of what you are looking for and what you want and do you address it immediately to the possible partner or do you just do things cuz you want them to like you because if you just do things because you want people to like you they going to take advantage of you or they just going to use you and leave I learned about this through experience unfortunately.

 

it's very hard to find genuine people these days but just so you know it has nothing to do with the way you look has nothing to do with who you are all you have to do probably is just set some boundaries and be very clear what you want and communicate what you want and if they don't comply and only enforce what they want on you then you should know that's a red flag and you should definitely reject them.

 

Don't trust people immediately especially if they are very friendly never trust anyone until you get to know them I would say at least a year I'm pretty sure someone more experienced than me would probably suggest longer definitely this is nothing to rush into.

 

Saying is one thing doing is another.

I promise to give you what you want I promise to make you happy I promise to support you I promise to love you I promise to....

 

Sometimes you have to wait for the action and just because they do it once doesn't hundred percent ensure that they will follow through. One week or two days of good behavior or complying doesn't guarantee a lifetime of loyalty to you. You deserve to be loved you deserved to be protected and cared for. It's not your fault that there's a lot of sick mean selfish people out there. It is not your fault.

 

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