Long distance DDLG relationship

[Hunnybabygirl]

Sorry for the length but please bear with me❤

 

Hi, me and my daddy have been together for over a year, but we met online and our relationship is long distance and we havent me face to face before but we are both fine with that. lately though he's been finding it hard to get into Daddy space and that kills me cause I wanna help him and make him feel good but I'm running out of ideas to do. Since it's a long distance thing will will kinda rold play alot as like what we would be doing if we were together like cuddles and things.

 

Right now I'm not really sure what to do to help him. I want him to make him feel like my daddy again because it's to a point he sometimes feel he doesn't want to respond to my messages and that scares me. Today I tried to help him and I sent him pics of um certain parts of me he loves and he loved that and we "cuddled" and I asked to play a game with him...but I meant actually play a game with him since we havent actually done something in so long and I was feeling little. So we were going to play monopoly but he wasnt really serious about it or intrested in actually playing and I started crying because I didnt know what to do to make him feel like a daddy again. Then he asked why I was getting so emotional and I tried to explain why but I was in little space so it's hard. Than he said he was cranky and need a nap but it wasnt cause of me but I feel it was.

 

And now I think I've just rambled but any suggestions or help or words or thoughts would be appreciated!

Edited October 20, 2019 by Hunnybabygirl

[SmolAetherr]

what is he dealing with in his personal life? like little space daddy space is hard to get into if you are struggling in other areas

 

sounds to me like he needs some care and an ear

[Hunnybabygirl]

what is he dealing with in his personal life? like little space daddy space is hard to get into if you are struggling in other areas

 

sounds to me like he needs some care and an ear

Well he doesn't like his work and I think he works too much. But um...he's also married ,but his wife knows about us and supports us and it's never been a problem. I only mention it because I dont know to what extent I can be that ear for him, I dont want to overstep it for her not to like me. And I really do love and care for him and tell him that. And I try to get him to talk about work and things so I can help but he doesn't want too

 

We used to be really really close but ever since, an um incident involving me and a colleague um assaulting me months ago at work it's took me a long time ago to get better and be more comfortable with daddy in some ways because of it but I've gotten alot better since but I try to be closer to him again and i want to be little and help him but he's struggling and i get emotional because i really care about this and him then he gets upset at me for being emotional but I dont think I can help it...I just want to make him feel good again

Edited October 20, 2019 by Hunnybabygirl

[Guest DaddySadist]

I've had this issue before and Aetherr is correct, depending on how long this has been happening.

 

Earlier this year I made a huge career change and in the beginning of it I was not in the right frame of mind to be a Daddy and wasn't doing my job.

 

Much like your Daddy I got cranky when that fact was brought up.

 

I ended up losing a very special baby girl and now she has another. She's very happy and I'm proud of her for finding her happiness.

 

I'd bet your Daddy is going through something so as was suggested....

 

See what it is and if he'll tell you.

[Little kaiya]

You cant make him feel like a Daddy again, that is really up to him honestly. You can offer a listening ear and be there if he wants to talk but you cant force anything. If he has a lot of things going on he may need space and time to step back from the DDlg dynamic so he can care for himself, Caregivers need care as well.

 

Alternatively sometimes people try LDRs, thinking they're fine with them but over time they may discover that it isnt fir them. LDRs take a certain type of personality dynamic because the physical component isn't there in the same way. Over time some folks find the lack of that physical component, cuddling, etc., is an issue and can be painful.

 

Keep talking to him but realize it isnt your job to make him happy, you're there to support him but he is entitled to how he feels whether that's happy, sad, engaged, withdrawn, a Daddy or not a Daddy. ALL adults, caregivers and littles, are responsible for their own feelings.

 

Little kaiya

[Hunnybabygirl]

I've had this issue before and Aetherr is correct, depending on how long this has been happening.

 

Earlier this year I made a huge career change and in the beginning of it I was not in the right frame of mind to be a Daddy and wasn't doing my job.

 

Much like your Daddy I got cranky when that fact was brought up.

 

I ended up losing a very special baby girl and now she has another. She's very happy and I'm proud of her for finding her happiness.

 

I'd bet your Daddy is going through something so as was suggested....

 

See what it is and if he'll tell you.

Thank you for the advice. He's taking a nap right now because he was upset. I'll try to find out if something like that is going on...I'm just afraid it might be a problem with me. That I just dont make him feel that way anymore. I'm not sure what to do or what kind of things to do to put him into daddy space.

 

I dont want to lose him, daddy or not, I love him as him

Edited October 20, 2019 by Hunnybabygirl

[Hunnybabygirl]

You cant make him feel like a Daddy again, that is really up to him honestly. You can offer a listening ear and be there if he wants to talk but you cant force anything. If he has a lot of things going on he may need space and time to step back from the DDlg dynamic so he can care for himself, Caregivers need care as well.

 

Alternatively sometimes people try LDRs, thinking they're fine with them but over time they may discover that it isnt fir them. LDRs take a certain type of personality dynamic because the physical component isn't there in the same way. Over time some folks find the lack of that physical component, cuddling, etc., is an issue and can be painful.

 

Keep talking to him but realize it isnt your job to make him happy, you're there to support him but he is entitled to how he feels whether that's happy, sad, engaged, withdrawn, a Daddy or not a Daddy. ALL adults, caregivers and littles, are responsible for their own feelings.

 

Little kaiya

I know long distance relationships can be hard so I understand what you're saying. But somehow I think we've always done pretty well with the physical aspects.

 

It kind of hurt to read your response but after reflecting I understand better what you're trying to say. I'm not trying to force him to be a daddy or anything, I only wanted to help him because he was upset about not being able to get into it and I know he's happy when he is❤

 

Of course he is entitled to his emotions and I really do care for him.